Once upon a time…. Christopher Columbus was in this water. Then… a little later… a bunch of pirates… and hooligans. But today, it was me. I took a swim in this part of the Caribbean Sea.

I have to say I like swimming in these Caribbean waters, specifically, more than any other place I’ve swam. Ever. They are so very crystal clear and warm. Salty.

But it does a body good. I mean, who wouldn’t love to dive in these waters?

As I mentioned, Old Chris Columbus spotted this here island in 1503. He was on his final trip to the new world and came across this little gem. He named it Las Tortugas… after all the big sea turtles he saw.

For the most part, the islands remained uninhabited (by people) until the late 17th century.

Then somehow….. in a rush….. the word got out. This old place became a home sweet home to pirates, refugees, sailors, slaves …. and even a few deserters from Oliver Cromwell’s army in Jamaica.

Argggghhhhhh matey. Yo-Ho-HO and a bottle of Rum.

Rum is still a popular thing here. I do not know this first hand… but I have witnessed others Yo-Ho-HO-ing.

The whole governance deal came down in 1670. The Treaty of Madrid…. was a little agreement and a handshake… between England and Spain. Part of the deal….. was for England to take formal control of Jamaica and the Cayman Islands. Jamaica would later (much later) break off from English ties. Not CI.

These days….. The Cayman Islands is an Overseas Territory of the United Kingdom with a governor appointed by the Crown. Hail to the Queen. And the Governor.
But I got off track. I swam, swam, swam.

Heck…. if I were big old ancient Sea Turtle…. I’d live in these good waters. And if I were a pirate, on the lamb, I would hide here to.
And If I were a human taking a vacation… this would probably be where I’d go.

Wait a minute. I am human, on vacation. …. … and here.

Well. …… ….. you can check THAT one off.

“By having good memories on every place you just visit, you are building paradise in your own heart and your life.”  – Toba Beta

They say that Vitamin D is good for us humans. It can be found quite readily in sunlight.

Before I go another inch… please let me clarify the “THEY”
You hear about THEY all the time on the news and in casual conversations. People throw around THEY at important meetings and such. But who… really.. are THEY.

Let me clear it up. THEY are an ambiguous panel of randomly selected individuals from around the planet. There are seven of them…. with no special talents or insight. But once THEY declare something…. I can tell you it is all the rage. THEY are Craig, Eliza, Fred, Margaret, Garry, June, and Heidi.

Now… back to the Vitamin D thing. They say it is necessary for the absorption of calcium and phosphorous in our bods. AND…. for helping our little selves with normal immune system functions. Plus… they say it makes you happier.

I have been getting some Vitamin D. I feel better already. And warmer.

Yet. I think there is a “one – up” on Vitamin D.   It is none other than… Vitamin F.
Vitamin F is necessary for normal brain functions, positive emotional states, truthfulness, humor and…. an overall good sense of well-being.

The most common source of Vitamin F is found in Friends. It is good if you are lucky enough to have one truer friend. Let alone an handful of gems.

Tonight I had dinner with friends. I don’t seem them often, but we always pick up… right where we left off. I love those two friends.

And way far away I have other friends… back in the stinking cold of Ohio. They are taking care of our home and four-leggeds. I love those friends too.

I have a handful of truly great friends and I feel incredibly fortunate for that. Yeah. I like getting more than my fair share of Vitamin F. Just like THEY said I should.

And I feel better already.

Discombobulate.

It has always been one of my all-time favorite words. I just like the way it sounds. And of course…. when someone says they are discombobulated, you know exactly what they mean.

Well. Sort of.

The dictionary-sense of the word is to confuse or disconcert. To upset or frustrate. But you know…. it can run the whole gamut, now can’t it? It will bewilder, dumbfound, flummox, baffle, mystify, perplex, puzzle, stupefy, amaze, vex. Disorient. Muddle.

Jumble your peace of mind into a pile of little yipping Chihuahuas.

This much, I can tell you. I have recently had a brush with discombobulation.

Perhaps it could happen when you are in a rental vehicle which you are unfamiliar with, driving on the wrong side of the road because you are in a British ruled country…. and feeling light-headed from and all day consumption of nothing but airline mini-pretzels and lukewarm Diet Cokes. You then turn the wrong way, not once but three times …. while trying to keep your mystery vehicle on the left side of the road.

You make wrong decisions at every corner…. mostly because you are distracted by the free range chickens crossing the road. Because they can. That’s why.

Yes. Discombobulation.

Since I experienced all of this on one of the British Isles…. I think somehow the Queen of England is to blame. She is a bit “out of sorts” herself.   Fell down.  Broke her crown.  Wouldn’t you know it?  She ran out of money…. of ALL people.  Too much pomp and circumstance, as far as I can tell.

I think she should sell the castle… and retire down to one of her British Isles.  She could become a Free-Range-Chicken-Farmer… which may suit her better…… than losing her Royal Butt by living too high off the hog.

But back to it.  The thing about discombobulation is this.

When it happens….  simply…. recombobulate.  (Easier said than done, sometimes.)

Recombobulation isn’t nearly as cool of a word as its counterpart.  But it is probably better for you than getting your jaw jacked out of shape…. putting all your eggs in one basket…. and then running over your Free range chickens… on the wrong side of the road.

The thing of paper is slowly becoming a thing of the past.

In a couple of generations the “newly” printed word will be a thing of the past. I would bet on it. Heck, it might not even take that long.  It started with the death of the handwritten letter.

Johnny-boy Gutenberg first ran that old lined-up-moveable-type around 1450. So we’ve had, roughly, 550 years of printed pages. With the advent of…. and the malleability of the internet, there seems to be a declining need for paper and ink.

I was remembering when I was a kid. The newspaper was a darn big deal back then. We got two of them. The Journal Herald in the morning, and The Dayton Daily News in the afternoon. I guess we wanted to keep up on the latest.

But really, that was our main source of news and information. These days there is an ambush of new programs, back to back, on the local stations. Not to mention CNN and all else at our fingertips. Back then…. I think there was the 6 o’clock news. But we ate dinner then.

So the newspapers were our go to thumb on the pulse of things. While we hit all the sections, it was the last part of the paper that we longed for. I think it was called The Leisure Section in those days. Section D.

A little something for everyone. My Dad loved the crossword puzzles and the column about bridge. Mom had a thing for horoscopes. She also liked Dear Abby, and Erma Bombeck.

Of course, all the kids loved the comics. I had my favorites. But all in all, they were just simple, unassuming fun. Peanuts was the best.

But back to the deal. Just about everything that came about in the “technology” world of yesteryear, was dismissed as being a fad for foolish.
From the automobile, to the electric lightbulb, to the television. People were just not buying in to those things which seemed to untrue. Inventors had proven those things would work. But “the masses” never believed it could go mainstream.

People don’t believe now that books will go away. They say there is “just something about holding a book in your hands and turning the pages.” I totally agree. But this newest generation of learners barely touch books, or writing utensils. They quit teaching handwriting in schools. Soon, people won’t know how to sign their names in cursive. We will all have digital “signatures” in the form of an eye scan, or thumbprint.

Yes. Things they are a changing.
And at this moment, we are reading  a bunch of 1s and 0s on an LCD Display. The printing press is gathering dust. I bet Gutenberg never thought it would die out so quickly.  And I bet he had beautiful handwriting.

I’m going to write a book about it.

We would like to live as we once lived, but history will not permit it. —  John F. Kennedy

Gerty would learn that life is full of choices.

But how to decide?

Would you rather hold a bag of purple, or one of green?

Would you pick a pound of cotton balls, or a pound of tissue paper?

The differences between the selections were obvious.  But the choices were not entirely clear.

And so it went on that day.  And it will again. And again.  And again.

“What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life.” –  Leo F. Buscaglia

“When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice.” –  William James

I think we should all talk about it….

and vote on things.

So…. grab a shovel and head to

THE WINTER OF SUCK.

http://www.thewinterofsuck.com

One of my all-time favorite quotes comes from Robert Frost. One of his best known, in fact. “Two roads diverged in a wood and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”

And that has made all the difference.

There are times in life when we need to take a stand. Or go against something we have long thought to be true. To walk in a different direction, or even something like trying something new.

Thinking for ourselves. Doing what we know is right.

Sometimes this isn’t always the popular decision. There will be times when other’s question our motives or beliefs. But when you know in your heart what you know in your heart….. you find yourself taking that road.

Perhaps the long and winding road…. as the Beetles so aptly put it.

No matter what form it takes, whether it be the path of least resistance, or going against the tide. IT will make all the difference.

Because you did the right thing. And doing the right thing will always bring your heart to your home and vice versa.

There will be times when doing the right thing doesn’t make everyone content or happy. But it will make all the difference in the world to the person who needs it the most.

When Farmer Joe first met Vernon, he thought he was merely a pig.

A big pig.

But as he got to know Vernon, he found out the Swine truly was a neat and tidy fellow after all. There was nothing about him which was piggish.  Well, except for his snout, and ears, and hooves, and pinkness, and…. wellll… I guess there was a lot about him that was all-hog.

But.

Vernon read every issue of “Organize IT” and “Real Simple” Magazines. Little Vern would share tips with the entire group at Farmer Joe and Eloise’s Card Parties.

Vern would say, “Folks, try placing shower hooks on a closet bar and hang purses from them to keep your carryalls at eye level.” Oh, Joe really loved that one.  They would laugh, and eat pretzel sticks.

And then Vernon would throw in a zinger…. like … Oh, what to do with those plastic Kroger bags? Perhaps you should dispense plastic grocery bags with ease by stuffing empties into an old tissue box stored under the sink.”

Oh, Joe liked that one too. Vernon snorted with glee. It sure helped that Farmer Joe had Obsessive Compulsive Tendencies. I mean, for crying out loud, EVERY YEAR….. he would plant the corn in perfectly straight lines, AND…. he kept all his ducks in a row.

Then one day, Farmer Joe was rummaging through the cupboard for a pan lid. Eloise just stuffed them all inside, haphazardly. Vern was at it again… and said… “To keep pot lids from rattling around and getting lost in kitchen drawers, position a short tension rod to create a divider. Stack pots and pans in the larger section and lean lids against the rod on the smaller side.”

Farmer Joe rubbed Vern’s muzzle. “You are the best Vern. I’d say you are a great pig… but you are not a pig at all, for being such a pig. And you smell good…. like Bacon… or something.”

Joe hugged the hog… and they walked together into the farmhouse, to organize the sewing room. They chatted about the alternate uses of thimbles… and enjoyed a glass of Bourbon on the rocks. Pals they would always be. An OC Farmer and his really neat Pig.  A match made in farmland.

Here’s mud in your eye.

“Friendship isn’t a big thing – it’s a million little things.”  – Author Unknown

“Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.”  – Sicilian Proverb

Well.

What a day this has been.

The Groundhog saw Peyton Manning’s shadow.

So… we ended up with a terrible Superbowl, and six more weeks of winter.
Another life lesson, I suppose. You can’t win ’em all. Easy come, easy go. You win some, you lose some.

A winter never quits, and a Bronco cannot win.

I’m blaming in on no one but The Shadow.

Because we all know……The Shadow Knows.

“To win you’ve got to stay in the game.”  – Claude Bristol 

“Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.” – Old Proverb

Overheard from an old farmhouse… not so far away… 

Honey?  If you go out tomorrow, will you pick up some noodles?

You say you want a poodle?

No. I just thought you might be going to the store. 

You want me to open the door? For the dog?

NOT dog you old fool. I didn’t say a thing about a dog.

The hog…. the hog needs feeding?

No. Don’t feed the hog. Oh forget it it. But now that you mention it, the chickens need some feed.

You say you think you peed?

ARRGGHHHH. NO. Go out to the chicken coop!

You need help going poop?

Oh my word. Forget it. I think this started because I need some noodles.

Well. Honey that is sweet of you to ask. I would love to have some Streudel…..  I love you.

Heaven help me. 

“That’s how you know you love someone, I guess, when you can’t experience anything without wishing the other person were there to see it, too.” ― Kaui Hart Hemmings