One day Elsa woke up, rolled out of her straw, and realized she didn’t feel like being a Dairy Cow any more.

She had had enough.  The early mornings.  The endless milkings.  The preponderance of Udder Jokes.   People driving by and yelling out their car windows…. “Got Milk?”

Enough.

So she packed her little nylon suitcase and traveled to far, far away, Thailand.  There, she sought out  a Guru.  A wise teacher.  Named Carl.

She had traveled long hours… and a great distance.  Which is very difficult for a cow with a nylon suitcase.  Airline restrictions and all.  But anyway.

Elsa finally made her way up Carl’s Mountain… and then down, down through a Bad Cavern.

And she asked.  “Oh wise one.  I am tired of being a Dairy Cow.  What is it that I should be?”

A strong wind stirred from the East.  The monk cocked his head…. so as his beanie hat, with the bright yellow propeller on top… would not fall from his head.  After much thought, Carl simply replied… “ Perhaps, my child…. ‘Got Milk?’ is not as bad as…. ‘Where’s the Beef?’

Elsa responded… “I am not sure I understand.”

And Carl then said… “Let me put it this way cow.  I would tell you my joke about a Black Angus…. but I always butcher it.”

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Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves. ~Henry David Thoreau

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He who knows others is learned;
He who knows himself is wise.
~Lao-tzu, Tao te Ching

I am tired to the core tonight.  I suppose….. Well.  This turning 50 thing really knocks the snot out of you.

Today was anticipated to be….. much like any other day.  So, if you are tuned in for a recap, here it is.  If you want excitement… you better switch channels… to reruns of Breaking Bad or something.

My birthday day.  By Polly the K.

The usual breakfast.  Two eggs over easy, ham, rice porridge, and english muffin.  I really love breakfast time and dip eggs.  A dip, for a dip.

But, the first “different” thing was a gift from my dearest.  She gave me a set of luggage.  I am not sure what she is trying to tell me with this gift.   But it is very nice luggage indeed.

As always, I spent a good part of my day visiting with my Mom.  She is in the Nursing Care Facility at Greenbriar.  She did not know it was my birthday.  But she was happy that I brought her Lay’s Potato Chips and Diet Coke.  Again, a day much like any other day.

From that point on, it was work around the house, and computer work on work things.  Worky.  Work. Work.  (Sounds like a creature from Star Wars.)

Some other notable happenings….I received more flowers today, than any kind of April Showers could ever bring.  And tons of great cards.  Of course, who could miss the 7,438 Facebook birthday wishes.  How do all those people know?  It is like they get some reminder at the beginning of the week, with all the upcoming Facebook birthdays or something.  Or like FB posts your birthday, right on that social media site.

Tonight, I had just planned on a quiet evening at home.  But Mary said I was going out to dinner whether I liked it or not.  So off we went to our new favorite restaurant, Yum Yum’s Chinese Restaurant, in Oxford, Ohio.  It is the most incredibly tasty Chinese food I have ever eaten.  They make Pad Thai like it is nobody’s business.  We were the only two non-eastern-Asia people in the place.

Finally, I asked the Fortune cookie gods for a good fortune, on this… my 50th birthday.  You see.  Here is the long standing joke around here.  Whenever we go out for Chinese food… my fortune cookie is the one that says something totally goofy, absurd, or plain old stupid.  Like, beware of the duck in the raincoat.  Ahhhhhhh.

So tonight… on this landmark birthday, I asked for a good one.
Again, this day was much  like any other day.
“If cookie not broken, play lotto.”  Well… we all know you have to break the cookie to get to the fortune.

So yes, this day turned out to be a glorious day.  I felt a lot of love and good wishes from family and friends, both near and afar.  There were so many pleasant surprises at every corner.

And while I thought this would be a day, much like any other day…. well…. IT WAS.  And that just reminded me how lucky and blessed I am to have so many good and kind, caring and loving, people…… in my life.

Thank YOU …. ONE and ALL.

And as for that fortune cookie.  Well it was right too.   The bottom line is… you can’t read the good fortune until you break the cookie open.  And since that cookie is no longer in one piece.. no need to play the lotto.  You already won your fortune.

“Happiness consists more in the small conveniences of pleasures that occur every day, than in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom to a man in the course of his life.”  –   Benjamin Franklin

There was a kid in my second grade class.  His name was Tommy Gunderson.

I liked Tommy okay, I suppose.  He seemed pretty smart and nice.  But he was one of those kids who always had the messy desk, and never could get his homework done on time.

At any rate, Tommy Gunderson , used to say… WAY back in the second grade… that one day he was going to be President of the United States.  A lot of boys back in those days used to say it. (Yes.  Boys.  I don’t remember any girls making this projection…. well…. except this one girl… named Hillary.)

But the thing of it is… Tommy said it like he MEANT it.  He was  SO dang sure of himself about this.

I think by about  the fourth grade, this kid knew all the branches of the government.  And he could tell you all the requirements for becoming a President.   He continued with his self-assurance about his future job.

It didn’t stop there.  He ran for Student Council in the 7th and 8th grades.  After that, I am not sure what happened to him.  Tommy and I went to different High Schools.

Tonight, as I was thinking about him… I did an online search.  As far in as I can tell…. he’s never been president of anything.  Not even The Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks, aka the local BPOE.

So there you have it.  Sometimes, some of us…. don’t grow up to be who we thought we would be.  We might have an idea about it… when we are in the 4th grade, or high school, and probably college.   It is true for me.  On all counts.

I simply didn’t grow up to be who I thought I would be. At least … professionally.  But. On an intellectual, emotional, and spiritual level… I don’t suppose I did a lot of visualization as a kid.  And at this point in my life…. as Popeye so aptly put it … “I yam what I yam.”

As most of you read this, it will the 29th of April.  And that, is the day of my birthday.  In this case… my 50th.

So as I meander through these thoughts of not growing up …. as I thought I might have… you’ll have to excuse me.

I think I’m having a mid-life crisis.  (Does anyone  even call them that anymore … mid-life crises?)

At any rate.  Another day.  Another dollar.  And another day at the races.  Popeye,  me…..  and Gunderson.

“I expect to pass through this world but once; any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now; let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”  – Stephan Grellet

“The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit.”  – Nelson Henderson

When we are young, we have so many steps in front of us.

And we never even give it a second thought.  We simply…. walk.  One foot goes in front of the other.  And.  We will have so few memories of those very early steps.

But the memories DO begin.
The steps get more deliberate.

And at some point, things become to hold great weight… in those steps.

The decisions we make.  The choices we choose.

Hopefully, we learn to walk in many different directions.
And wearing many different kinds of shoes.

There are times when we need to tread lightly.  And on other occasions, it is necessary to “really” put a foot down.

But we keep on.  We continue to put one foot in front of the other.  And walk through our lives.  Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

Just so long as we remember… there are moments in life when we are meant to stand still and wait.

And other times when we are meant to dance.     Really, really, dance.

“Stairs are climbed step by step.” – Turkish Proverb
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“What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.”- T.S. Eliot

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It was a good luck kind of day.

For the first part of the day, I enjoyed working outside for the most of the morning and afternoon.  Good work.

But at one point, I decided to lay down on the ground and soak in the warmth and the glow of the day.  I laid there, very still, and contemplated the light of the sun, reaching my skin, from 92,960,000 miles away.  The implications of this magnificent postulation are astronomical.

And then late this afternoon, the good luck continued, in that we got to spend time with a couple of our favorite guys.

We played.  It was a Gator riding, bon firing, muddy hiking, rock finding, fish feeding, game playing, snake fighting, movie watching, pizza eating melee.

Needless to say.  We had a great time.

The movie of choice tonight… Horton Hears a Who.

If you don’t know the story… it is about an entire civilization, existing on a speck of dust, which resides on a small flower…  which Horton the Elephant finds.  Horton carried the flower with his trunk, trying to find a safe place for the speck… the planet… the civilization of those tiny Who’s……  to live and reside.

The implications of this magnificent postulation are astronomical.

I felt the potential of being extremely small… or extremely large… at the very same time.

And then I remembered what I saw out on the hill today, when we were hiking with the boys.  I think it was the  Whoville Speck.

I’ve been outside with a flashlight looking ever since…. and ….. can’t find it.  I guess I will never know.

And. Now… I can’t sleep.

“We don’t exist unless we are deeply and sensually in touch with that which can be touched but not known.”   – D.H. Lawrence

Hmmmm.  It wasn’t until 1953 that scientists identified DNA.  On this very date.  April 25th.

That really isn’t that very long ago.

DNA is a molecule.  This molecule happens to  encode the genetic instructions  for YOU and for ME.  As a matter of fact… it is used in the development and functioning of all known living organisms and many viruses.

The whole big name of it is……  Deoxyribonucleic acid.

DNA is material that governs inheritance of eye color, hair color, stature, bone density and many other human and animal traits.    It gives instructions.  It lays out how we look, act, and who we are.

Basically, every part of the body is made up of these tiny cells and each contains a sample or complement of DNA identical to that of every other cell within a given person.  There are a few exceptions.

You are you.  I am me.

Tonight, we had dinner with friends.  Really good friends.

Please note now… Exhibit A ad Exhibit B.

So at dinner…. as I glanced around the restaurant, I realized we were the only four people that we knew….   out of the 300 or so people in the building.  And then I looked out to the parking lot… and all the surrounding restaurants, and theaters, and stores.  There, I saw thousands of cars in the parking area.

It continued on… here we were… on just one small exit, on one single highway, in the entire state of Ohio.  Think how many people were having their own personal interactions… at this very moment… in just this State alone.  And how few of them I know, or who I will never meet.

It made me wonder.  About those I HAVE met… and WHY.  Those I will NEVER know… and WHY.  Each one of us with different and specific DNA.  Different encoding.  A unique set of instructions on how “WE” should be “WE”….

I have no idea who the lady is in Exhibit A.  She sat at a table down the aisle from us. I will probably never meet her… or even see her again.   Exhibit B… is me… with my friends.

I am so incredibly glad to know the people in Exhibit B.  Blessed.  Fortunate.  Perhaps….Lucky.

Whatever brought us together…. in this whole big world?  And why don’t we know the lady in Exhibit A?

Maybe our DNA has something to do with it.  Our pre-given instructions.

And.  If that is the case… what the HECK did people do before 1953?  How did they ever meet?  Or not?

“Every man has his own destiny: the only imperative is to follow it, to accept it, no matter where it leads him.”  – Henry Miller
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“Dreams are illustrations… from the book your soul is writing about you.”  –  Marsha Norman

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When I was a kid, we didn’t have to go to Sunday School very often.  Mom and Dad thought going to Mass seven days a week was enough.

But every now and again… I attended.  It was mostly kids who were not Catholics, but either they went to our school, or lived in the neighborhood.

So… I didn’t know all the kids that well.

But I do remember two of them specifically.  Mabel and Johnny.

Little Mabel was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, Mabel, who created the universe?”

When Mabel didn’t stir, little Johnny, who sat in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. “GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted Mabel and the teacher said, “Very good” and Mabel fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mabel, “Who is our Lord and Savior,” But, Mabel didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ‘JESUS CHRIST!” shouted Mabel and the teacher said, “very good,” and Mabel fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked Mabel a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mabel jumped up and shouted, “If you stick that f***ing thing  in me one MORE TIME, I swear to God I will break it right in half and stick it right in your ear!”

“I fear one day I’ll meet God, he’ll sneeze and I won’t know what to say.” – Ronnie Shakes

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“Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.”  – Mark Twain

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I have a few friends who are Vegetarians.  They don’t really give me the “what for” about being a big old Carnivore.  Which I am. But every now and again, they will bring up a reason against the consumption of meat…. and of course…. the benefits of vegetables.    “Leaving a footprint” and all of that.  I know.  I know.  But I just have to have it.

Despite the fact that I love meat… I eat WAY more than the recommended daily dose of vegetables each day.  I like them every bit as much.   Steam up some cauliflower… or anything…. and I am one happy camper.  I truly like vegetables.  One and  all.

Anyway… back to the beef of this thing.   And pork, and chicken… and fish.

Mary and I decided it would be nice to get a half side of beef delivered to the house.  Again… who doesn’t love a cheeseburger on a Monday?  Just like Wimpy.  “I will gladly pay you Tuesday, for a hamburger today.”

So.  There you have it.

Just after I hung up the phone and ordered it from the Beef Guy… one of my Vegan friends called.  This time… she just simply said that she thought eating beef just “wasn’t good for you.”  Well…. I let it go.

The next day… Bob the Beef Guy drove to the house.  Low and behold… the Veggie Gods must have thrown down their broccoli spears….. and ran Bob right off the driveway.  Over the rocks he went… and almost into our pond.  Just five inches shy of six cylinders falling into seven feet of water.  You do the math.

He had to get a huge tow out of there, and was unable to bring the order to the house.  He said now… it might be another week or so.

It just goes to show you…. The meat truck  will take a long time to deliver because of the Jerky ride.

And….well….. maybe eating meat is bad for you after all.   Naaahhhhhh…..  I think it means that we should have asked for surf ‘n’ turf.

“People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.” – Dale Carnegie

“Life is a sum of all your choices.”   – Albert Camus

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When we were growing up, our Mom was a bit of a photo hound.  The precursor to today’s equivalent of the Papparazzi.  Every time we turned around, it seems, good old Mom was taking our picture.

I know I have said it before.  But it was consistently prevalent in our upbringing.  The  usual dates were a given.  Birthdays, First-day-of-schools, Graduations, First Communions, Vacations.  However.  At our home, it went far beyond that.  Chicken Pox, broken arms, turtle findings, new shoes, ice cream cones, bike riding, teeth pullings, pink eye, common colds…. sleeping on the couch…. it JUST didn’t matter.  Snaps.

But Mom was a maven too.  It was a film camera.  So.  The photos were immediately developed, filed in photo albums, labeled and dated.  Like a religion.  And the negatives?  They always went in a shoebox in the cupboard.

And this is what got me thinking…. about  photography and how it mimics life.  Someone said to me today… “Hopefully  you can forgive.  But never forget.”  Is this right?

We got through our every day of days… doing this and that.  And our mind captures memories.  Hopefully, we are diligent enough to file those good and golden memories… the one we want to keep in albums.  The significant memories.  Yes, we call back on them time and again, like pulling a photo album on the shelf.  And bask in the goodness.

But then…. there is the OTHER part of it.  The box of negatives.  I am not sure that we should hang on to the negatives.  Especially a whole box of them.

Yet…as my friend said…. maybe we should keep them…. in some remote way.  You see… with photography, if you keep that negative and expose it to light… you can make a positive image from it… any time you want to.  Again, and again and again.

So… do we throw the negatives completely away?  And keep taking those same photos over and over and over?

Or do we store them on a box… that we can take down off the shelf if we need to.  So that we don’t keep doing the same thing over and over again.  But when we do pull up that negative…. we remember to expose it to the light to turn it into something entirely good.  A good image.

I think memories might be better served that way for me.  So I don’t keep making the same mistakes repeatedly.  I could learn from what was dark and inverted… and turn it into something good.

So then the next time… I can say “Cheese”…. and really mean it.

“A man’s errors are his portals of discovery.” – James Joyce

“There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they’re necessary to reach the places we’ve chosen to go.” – Richard Bach

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I was thinking about construction today.  Not Bob the Builder construction, or Tonka Truck construction…. but just regular old construction.

To construct is to build, assemble, create, design, devise, formulate.  You know how it goes… if I had a hammer…all over this laaaaaand.

But here’s the deal.  Down the road from us, there is quite a bit of construction going on.  I like to go there when everyone has gone home for the day.  When the jack hammers aren’t jacking, and the fork lifts aren’t forking.  There is something about being there… in the quiet.  I like to think about the progress they may have made that day… or what might happen here tomorrow.  But mostly, I like the stillness.  The hushing of the buzz.

And….  this particular project is a bridge.  It is an old iron bridge…. nearly out of commission.  Actually…. it was  in such bad shape that they had to close it.  The engineers deemed it unsafe and unfit for anyone to cross.  The bridge was broken.

Wouldn’t you know.  As the old saying goes… they didn’t burn the bridge down.  Instead, they decided to make it crossable again.  In this case, the old bridge is being repaired, and restored… as much as possible.  But undoubtedly there are parts of this structure which are far beyond repair.  They will have to be replaced completely.   The reinforcements of the bridge… the foundation… must be started from anew.

And then… it will be crossable once again.

It made me think about life… and relationships.  Some bridges we have with people in our lives remain strong and true.  While others begin to fail, and crumble, and break.  These unions are no longer safe for us to cross.  Road closed.

Best not to burn them completely, I think.  But there are parts that may need to be replaced, or reshaped, or started from the ground up.  And maybe the new bridge translates into a new crossing entirely.  Sometimes we find people who are better for our lives.

But always, hopefully…. to assist in continuing our journey.  Our forward progress.

Now….. the bridge over troubled water is a different matter….. entirely.

“It is easier to pull down than to build up”  –   Latin Proverb

“Whatever good things we build end up building us.”  –   Jim Rohn