Memorex.

I bet a lot of kids today don’t even know what Memorex is.

But WE know.
“Is it live…. or is it Memorex?”  I loved those commercials.

Yep.  We’re getting old IF…..  we remember… cassette tapes.  We used to record things on cassette tapes.  When I was in college… and someone made you a “tape”…. well… that was a big dang deal.

It meant they were probably swell on you.  “Here.  I made you a tape of some of my favorite music.”  Oh yeah.  That was serious business when someone did that for you.

But then I would always have to say back to them… .. “Is it live… or is it Memorex?”

Yessirrrreeee Bob. Those were the days.

Seems like these days… I’m not up to speed on the inside track.  I don’t even know who is who anymore.

Mary and I will be watching some entertainment weekly show on TV… and I’ll say… “Who is that?”  And she says… “You’re asking ME?”  And I say…. “I bet she’s on some sitcom or something.”  And Mary says… “I’ll bet your right.  Or maybe she’s a model.”

We sound like those two old men in the balcony on The Muppet Show.

I bet a lot of kids today don’t know what The Muppet Show is.
Crap… we are getting old.

Today, I was looking through Decor Magazine, for some decorating ideas.  Or re-decorating ideas… specifically.

I saw an ad and I had no idea what the deal was.  I sure couldn’t imagine who would be affected by such in ad…. in a good way.   I couldn’t tell if the woman in the ad was wearing a hat… or if it was supposed to be her hair.  I am pathetic.

Don’t get me wrong.  I am all for progress if it is in the right direction.  I am a Technology Beast.  A Geek in the true sense of the word.  But there are some things I just drag my heals on…. like wearing pants down around your knees on purpose …. OR  acronyms for everything…. I mean WTF?

LOL.

Okay, seriously.  There are certain things in life I hope that never go away.  The Quaker Oats Dude.  He’s right up there with the Kellogg Rooster.   But other things…. like #2 Lead Pencils, Ball Canning Jars, and Analog Clocks.

Whiskers on kittens.  Warm woolen mittens, and brown paper packages tied up with strings.  And… and……  doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles.

Because, I’ll tell you.  When you get a little down … … or don’t understand a vogue-ish magazine ad…. or when the dog bites.. or the bee stings….

You simply just need a few of your favorite things.
NOW THAT was live.  Not Memorex.

“The heart that truly loves never forgets.”  —   Proverb quotes

Okay.   Apparently I shouldn’t write about my scientific interests here.  In this column, or blog, or digital loose leaf notebook.

But dag nabbit.  I thought everybody loves to Time Travel.   Especially the part about the food.

Yep.   The thing I like most about it… is packing snacks for along the way.  Just like when we were kids, and we would pile into the old goldish-green station wagon for a family outing.   Mom would always pack a grocery bag “Full of Picnic.”  Bologna sandwiches, little bags of Fritos, and oranges.  Sometimes there might even be some sort of cookie…. like Archways.

Those were the days.  I go back to those days often.  Time Traveling is great for that.  But evidently, my scientific meanderings aren’t too popular on the Reader’s Choice List.

So tonight, I will talk about something else.  It is sort of scientific, but what the heck.

Let’s talk Godzilla.  The other night we watched the movie Godzilla.  The new one.  The remake.  The one with Brian Cranston.  I thought it was really pretty good.  As far as Godzilla movies go.

Remember the ones from the 50s and 60s years ago?  THOSE were classic.  It was a Japanese based film company… Toho LTD… which produced them.  But when they “Amercan-ized” them… well… THEN the fun began.

You would see the characters in the movie.. and their mouths would open and shut like they were talking…   And then 29 seconds later… you would hear the English voice-over. … “Watch out!  Godzilla is climbing on Tokyo.”

I loved those.  My favorite part about tuning in to them on Saturday afternoons, was snacking on Bologna Sandwiches, Fritos, and Oranges… while we watched.   Sometimes… we would even get an Archway cookie.

Okay.  Truth be told.  It doesn’t really matter what I am doing.  So long as the grocery bag “Full of Picnic” is involved….  it is ALL good.

There is a lot to be said in life for keeping a bag “Full of Picnic” with you at all times.  It is just like bottled sunshine, and fairy dust.  It adds magic to the moments in you life.

Whether you are Time Traveling…. or not.

This is a BIG dang day….  I’ll tell you.  It is the kind of day that dreams are made of.

When you were a kid, do you remember reading your first science fiction novel… where it talked about Time Travel?  I don’t know  the exact day.  But I remember the feeling.  I laid in the grass in our backyard on Bruce Avenue, and stared up at the sky.

And I wondered.  And wondered… if it were possible.  And if so… how?

Little did I know.  Then.

For… whatever day that WAS… nearly 60 years earlier… history was made.  You see… on today’s date… in 1905…. a Physics Journal…. called the Annalen der Physik,  published Albert Einstein’s paper “Does the Inertia of a Body Depend Upon Its Energy Content?” —- This is the paper of Big Al’s which introduced the equation E=mc².

It was a Wednesday.  I can’t imagine what Al was doing at the time.  Probably dunking chocolate chip cookies in a tall cold glass of milk, and wondering if the crumbs were floating because they wanted to, or because, for a moment, their molecular density….. contained less density than that of the milk… making the cookie crumbs buoyant.

But here is what our boy, Albert Einstein, did.   He turned the notion of the impossible on its head when he announced his Theory of Relativity. It was met with admiration, enthusiasm, skepticism and, in some cases, confusion.

Einstein’s Theory of Relativity is, in fact, a two-parter. He proposed that time and space aren’t absolutes.   And… it also maintains that gravity and motion can affect time and space.

These theories…… revolutionized science….. particularly in the fields of physics, astronomy and cosmology.

Yes…. It has affected a whole big bunch of scientific movements and discoveries.  But of course…. the COOLEST is time travel.  And… according to Uncle Al…. the ability to travel through time….. is a theoretical possibility.

Here’s the dirt.  Time is relative. There isn’t one set hour that’s universal for everyone and everything.

Rather, time speeds up and slows down depending on how fast one particular object is moving relative to another object. The have proven this in outer space.

AND…..Oddly enough….. the closer an object travels to the speed of light, the slower time passes. If someone could travel at the speed on light, this “time traveler” could, in theory, travel thousands of years into Earth’s future.

So.  Now that you know all of that… the age old question is finally answered.  The CHICKEN has ALREADY crossed the road… to get to the other side…. TOMORROW.

And the cow jumped over the moon.

Now THAT is SCIENCE at its BEST.

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”  T.S. Eliot

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”  Ralph Waldo Emerson

“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”  Friedrich Nietzsche

It all started, actually, because I had to pee.  Today, I decided to do some things which I KNOW other people do.  Things that I don’t normally do.

So.  Let me back up just a little bit with this story, though.  I am “Cat Visiting” this week.  I”m sort of like a Surrogate Mom, of sorts.  I stand in and give the cats love and attention while their real Moms are off looking for Shamrocks and Queens and such.

At any rate, during my visit today, I had to pee.  I knew my friends wouldn’t mind if I used their restroom.  But someone before me had not replaced the toilet paper roll.  Of course, I had to find a replacement roll… which meant I got to snoop through a whole bunch of their cupboards.

Man it was fun.  I thought… this is something I’ve never done before.  But I am well aware that other people do this when they visit friend’s homes.  Well… NOW I was doing it.  Yeah.  I looked EVERYWHERE for toilet paper.  Cupboards, closets, drawers…. WHAT FUN!  Well… I found two things.  1. the toilet paper.  and 2. my friends keep a very tidy house… with very well organized cupboards and drawers.

So as I was driving home, I thought…. …… I wonder what else I could do…. which is NEW to me… and not so new to others.   So I tried some stuff.

1. I stopped by the grocery and bought a box of Twinkies.  I never buy Twinkies… but a LOT of people DO.  I am not sure what I will do with them, as I don’t eat sugar.  I guess I could put them in our Survivalist Food Bunker…. if we had one.
2. When I got home, I watched NASCAR on TV.  Okay…. on to the next thing.
3. Along the same lines… in search of entertainment … I tuned in to a Country Music radio station.  Well….. that was not so much for me either.
4. Running out of ideas.
5. Next, I tried the “lawn chair in the garage” thing.  You know.   I see a lot of people doing this all the time… when I drive through any town…. anywhere.  They set up their lawn chairs inside their garages… and they appear to be watching their driveways.   I only lasted about 2 minutes.  My driveway must not be nearly as interesting to watch as other people’s driveways.  Strike Three.

All in all, it was a good day of exploration.  I tried some new things.  Albeit, I didn’t care for most of them…. but the first one was a whole bunch of fun.  So my lesson for the day?

Keep an open mind.  Try new things.  Sometimes it pans out… and other times… it does not.  But in the process, I may find something that I really enjoy doing.  Something that gives me purpose.

Yep.

I can hardly wait until tomorrow when I visit the cats again.  My friends have TONS of drawers and closets at their house.

“As you grow older, you’ll find the only things you regret are the things you didn’t do.”  —  Zachary Scott

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”  —   George Bernard

“There are two great days in a person’s life – the day we are born and the day we discover why.”  —  William Barclay

I like facts.  Cold hard facts.

Don’t get me wrong here.  I like to dream too.  And to conjure and to feign.  And there is always room for a good game of speculation.  One of my favorite things to see, is a little kid, “playing pretend.”  I wonder what age most of us quit playing pretend.

But back to the subject at hand.  “Nothing but the facts ma’am.  Nothing but the facts.”

I especially enjoy learning obscure and interesting facts.  I seek them out.  But sometimes… they make you wonder just who in the world discovered such a thing.  Or why they might even bother gathering this information.

Which I will gladly share with you this evening.

Here are some.

• The estimated percentage of American adults who go on a diet each year is 44%.  The other 56% are either fit, or they don’t give a damn.

• The  average number of days a West German goes without washing his underwear is seven days.  That is one week in the U.S.  That is too long…. anywhere on earth.   I am not sure who conducted this study.  But I bet something they smelled prompted the investigation.

• The percentage of Americans who say that God has spoken to them is 36%.  The other 64% either don’t believe in God….. or if they do believe in God… he must not feel like talking to them in particular.

• Irving Berlin wrote every one of his compositions in F-sharp.  Most American car horns honk in the key of F.   Honk if you love Irv.

• Twenty-three percent of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts.  (Is there evidence to prove this?  Cracks on  the glass of the photocopier?)  🙂

• Deer can’t eat hay.  I just read about this one tonight.  Why do I find this interesting?  We have a hay feeder out by our salt lick…. for the deer.  We put fresh bales of hay in it…. but the hay always rots.  No one eats it.  The deer probably think we are thick as bricks in the head.  Now we know.

•  The average lead pencil will draw a line 35 miles long or write approximately 50,000 English words.   Someone had to spend valuable time figuring this out.  I spent valuable time telling you about it.

• Every year about 98% of atoms in your body are replaced.  And that means…. you are no longer the person you thought you were.  At least… not a year ago.

Times are a-changing.  One atom at a time.  And that is a fact.

Don’t become a mere recorder of facts, but try to penetrate the mystery of their origin.  —  Ivan Pavlov

Yesterday marked the beginning of The Autumn.  The Fall.

There are a lot of things I like about this season.  And of course, some things which I don’t.

It makes me think of pumpkin patches, and old barns.  Corn stalks, apples, and Halloween.  It brings with it that unmistakeable, crisp coolness to the night air.

Which then reminds me that winter in on the way.  And of course, 91 days until Christmas.

But Fall also brings with it football.  And I love football.  College and Pro. I’m not sure why I am so drawn to this incredibly rough sport.  But I DO like to watch… and to follow.

A couple of weekends we got free tickets to the Colts game, so we went on over. I  am not a big fan of the Colts… but Indy sounded like fun.

Of all things…. we were sitting right  next to four or five nuns.  They were all in their old-school habits… the kind with the big hats and side wings.  Are they EVEN called hats?  At any rate, there were some beer drinkers sitting right behind them, and those guys  apparently couldn’t see very well over the Flying Nun Heads.

So they started jawing it up.

The first guy… rather loudly says……”I think I’ll move to California, there’s only 50 Catholics there.”

Then the next guy starts laughing… and chimes in……”I think I’ll move to Washington, there’s only 25 Catholics there.”

Over course the third bozo had to check in with…… “I think I’ll move to Idaho, there’s only 10 Catholics there.”

Then….. all of a sudden….. one of the nuns turned around.  She looked dead at them and said…..
“Go to Hell, there are NO Catholics there.”

Holy Moly…. do I EVER love Fall.  Spike it in the end zone, Sister!

“Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.”  —  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

You can count on an abacus.
You can count on your hand.
You can even count on an egg timer.
There are a lot of things you can count on.

But then.  There are the things which you can’t.
These are what I like to call ….. …  “The Unpredictables.”

Boy oh boy.  Chef-Boy-Ardee-Boy-Oh-Boy….. life is full of the unpredictables.

The doneness of a medium steak… at any given restaurant.
The airline schedule.
The price of gasoline.
The weather.  Like… where lightning will strike next.

Oh, sure there are things you can depend on.
A good old peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
A hooded sweatshirt.
Gold Medal Flour.
The Energizer Bunny.

But in the bigger scheme of things… the universe seems filled with “The Unknowns.”

Perhaps… we might consider people.
Sometimes, people do the unpredictable.

On occasion, this may make you laugh…. or cry… happy… sad.. or sometimes even mad.

Okay… for example.  Have you ever met an English Bulldog with one gold-tooth?  Yeah?  Well, me neither….. so I don’t really know where I was going with THAT one.  But if I ever got an English Bulldog,  I would name him Gordy.  And I’d make sure he had one gold tooth…. when I picked him up from the shelter.   Me and Gordy would take long walks, and eat Milkbones together.  We’d play fetch the tennis ball, until I get tired… then I would let him chase the ball.  We’d watch reruns of Lassie, and become entirely and completely… the best of friends.    I would be able to count on Gordy….  like I can count to ten on my toes.

And when The Unpredictables came knocking on our door… we would honker down….. to see it through… whatever the “it” might be.  And when it was all said and done… I would hug Gordy… and be thankful for him… and of course……  for all the other good people…. and things in my life life… which I can count on.

Yep.  That’s what I would do.
If… I met an English Bulldog… that is.

There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception.  –Aldous Huxley

I made this photo a couple of years ago.  I can remember it clearly.  Not where I was exactly… but WHAT I was thinking.  When I shot this… it felt like the universe was revealing one of its beautiful mysteries…. and wonders.   It was as if the setting sun was singing to that flower, and back again.

But you know, there are all sorts of mysteries on this planet.  Things, which just cannot be explained by human, nor scientific measures.  Oh sure… there are all the usual suspects.  The Pyramids of Giza, the mystery of Easter Island and the Moai statues,  the great Aztec works, Stonehenge,  crop circles and more.

But how about things like The Antikythera Mechanism?   These days it looks like a crusted block with gears and such.  BUT…. it is an incredibly intricate analogue computer…. which was found in a shipwreck near Greece in the year 1900.

The device was used to determine the positions of celestial bodies using a mind-bogglingly complex series of bronze gears.  Now…. in and of itself, this whole deal would already be impressive.

But the “when of it” is even more intriguing.   It was created more than 1,000 years before anything even approaching its level of technological complexity and workmanship was made.

This calculating computer came long before our modern understanding of astronomy and physics. The Antikythera Mechanism was built over 1,600 years before Galileo was born, and over 1,700 years before Isaac Newton was born.  Drop an apple on my head, I’ll tell you.  Who could have made such a thing?

Not impressed?  Okay.  What about this.

The Dancing Plague of 1518.    Now get this.  On a summer’s day in the town of Strasbourg…. a woman began dancing wildly in the street. That women danced all dang day… and well into the night.  And she kept going and going.  Day and night.  (I am not bull-crapping you here, either.)

Within a week, 34 others had joined her, dancing as though they were possessed.  These folks were relentless.  They danced their little feet off…. without stopping….. for days on end… AND….. for no apparent reason. Within a month, the number of dancers had reached 400.

Physicians were called in to document the event and try to find a solution. And all the while, the dancing worsened. Many became ill or died as a result of exhaustion, strokes, or heart attacks.

So what did the authorities decide?  Well…. it wasn’t the Puritanical Witch Hunt that you’d find in the U.S…..  I’ll tell you that.  Those authorities all decided it was best if they danced it out of their systems.

Gild halls and a grain market were opened to the dancers, and a wooden stage was even constructed for them. Musicians were even brought in to keep those affected moving.  To this day we still have no answer for this truly unbelievable historical event.

I just think when the rhythm hits you …. it hits you.  Happy feet take over.  And that’s all she wrote.

My only advice tonight… is this.   Pay attention to the wonders of the universe.  It is trying to tell YOU something.   Maybe it is telling you to dance… when the sun sings to the flowers.  Maybe.

“A man is a very small thing, and the night is very large and full of wonders.”   – Lord Dunsany

“The few wonders of the world only exist while there are those with the sight to see them.”  — Charles de Lint

Cat people.
Dog people.
And those in between.

These days, I would definitely classify myself as a Dog person.

But.

Years, ago, I was among the Cat Crowd. I had the great fortune of knowing a little feline dude named Bud.  Hamilton was his real first name.  He was an amazing cat and really good friend.  He pulled me through some tough times, I’ll tell you.

He was the last cat….  the last incredible cat I’ve palled around with.

Since that time, the cats in my life have been neurotic, weird, sketchy, paranoid, withdrawn, and unfriendly.  I think I was give the “one great cat in my life deal” and from this point forward…. no more feline wealth for me.

Some of my friends have super kitties.  A lot of people I know have good luck in this way.

Today, I was afforded a visit with two of those cats.  We had a substantial, and splendid visit.  Lots of purring and rolling around on the floor, and rubbing faces on door jams.   And then there were the cats.

Mostly it was a happy time…. but on occasion, I felt that Lucy was taking issue with Gracie about something…. or another.  But all and all… I think they like me.  And I sure like them too.

They’ve invited me back.  So tomorrow I am going to drop by with a cage full of mice.  Oh the fun we’ll have.   I can hardly wait to take part in a good game of cat chases mouse.   I just hope my friends won’t mind……

You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.  –  Albert Einstein

 Fun is Good.  – Dr. Seuss

Here is this neck of the woods.

That’s a heck of a phrase, now isn’t it.  First and foremost… do woods really have necks, heads, shoulders, bellies, feet, and such?

You don’t often hear….   “Well… in these hips of the woods…… ”  OR…. “In this knee of the woods.”
It always happens in the neck.  Always.

But there I go AGAIN.  I digress, and I hadn’t really even started yet.  Pathetic.

Okay.  Here is this neck of the woods..we have a little festival each year…. where people gather ’round the PIG.  It is true.  The Grand and Famous Preble County Pork Festival.

I don’t know that it is officially called “Grand and Famous” but it probably ought to be.  It is one Big Pig Celebration.  There are chops, and hams, and sausages, and pork sandwiches.  Cracklin’s crackling all over the place.   I’m telling you… if you want something pork… you will find it here at the Preble County Feast.

Vegans don’t get along so well here…. in this neck of the woods.

Anyway… there are Pig Races, Cement Pig Painting Contests, Arts and Crafts Galore.  Fun and Games.  Educational Displays.  And people.

Not only are there people who are celebrating the Pork…. there are people who have a need for The Pig.  Of course…. food from pigs.  But even more so…. they need the…..  Pig paintings to hang on their walls.  Pig birdhouses, potholders, and cookie jars.  Pig yard art.  Pig clothing.  You name it…

It is one big happy festival.  And there is so much Pig Happiness, that the Big Bad Wolf is nowhere to be seen.   That old boy is way up in the neck of the Northern Michigan woods … or something.

And then….. after the festival, the pigs will have to go back to building their houses of straw, and sticks, and bricks, and such.   If they want to hide, of course.

Most of ’em this weekend…. are just hiding in blankets.  I know that for a fact.
Share our similarities, celebrate our differences.  —  M. Scott Peck

Celebrate what you want to see more of.  — Tom Peters