I used to ask for signs.   Oh yes I did.

My thought process would follow…..  “Puhhhhllllleeeasssse…. give me a sign …. I will surely know what to do with “x” if only I get a sign about “y”…. .”

A sign about why.

I’m not really sure who I was asking this of, either.  For those who believe in a God, or a Higher Power… I would think that entity has better things to do than stand around with a paint brush and a blank wooden sign… ready to construct this marker.. … at our whim, will, or wish.

Then again, I could be wrong.   I am wrong about a lot of things.

But I’m not sure I believe in “signs” so much these days.  I think we are supposed to figure things out with our own merits.  Our intelligence, wits, ingenuity, planning, intentions, deeds, capabilities, and such.

A bit of a segue, here.  A bit.

I was always a pretty good athlete.  All of my life.  Much of this I attribute to my reflexes.  I have been blessed with some fasty fast reflexes.  But I also have a theory about this.  I think it carries over into the emotional side of myself.  I react quickly to situations of the heart … sometimes without thinking.  Often, this is not necessarily a good thing.

Heck… it goes way back.

Like.
Most newborns are totally unaware of their umbilical cords.  But not me.  I knew exactly where it was… grabbed it with both hands… swung around like Tarzan on a vine… and landed right in the hands of the doctor…

… to which I yelled… “Let’s get this over with, man…. Slap me already!”

Okay, okay… maybe I exaggerate a bit too.   But you get the idea.   I am a reactor.

And in those situations.. I want answers to come as quickly as I am reacting.  Hence, the signs.  Show me now.  An show me quick.

But life doesn’t work that way.  Or…. maybe we get signs, and I am just too thick and obtuse to see them.

So tonight, I was driving home and thinking about all of this….

and… and… I looked up… and THERE IT WAS!   A SIGN.

“Hidden Drive.”

Now it all made perfect sense.  Life is just one hidden drive, after the next.  In fact…  it seems that life itself… is just one big hidden drive.   We never know what’s over the next hill or around the next turn.

“A sign on the door of Opportunity reads Push.” – Unknown

“The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working”  – Unknown

I love that I get to look out to our meadow, and see this.

These wonderful, beautiful, gentle beings who share our world.

Some of them, I have gotten accustomed to.  I know them by sight.

Of course, Tongue-Twister Tilly is easy enough to spot.
But I also recognize this other dear… this Mother Dear… as being on of our usual’s here at the farm.

And now her baby.

How fortunate this is.

Such a splendid thing to regard, and behold.

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. – Confucius

Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.  – Anne Frank

It just keeps hitting me today.

I can’t stinking believe that it is July Twenty-Dang-Ninth already.  Where did July go?   Why, oh why does time pass so swiftly when aren’t looking?

Sometimes it whirls and spins… and speeds by like a slice of chocolate cream pie in a blender.. ….. … or something.

Yep.  Today I felt way off kilter.  Words eluded me.  Every task felt hard.  And the busier I got… the edgier I got.

I felt more like Dwarf Grumpy, than Dwarf Dopey… but not by much.   I have never felt like Snow White.  I am pretty darn sure of that…. except for the fact that I really like apples.

Anyways….

Tonight… just a photo of Max.  On the race track.

Which is where I hope I will be tomorrow.  Back on track.

Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.  – Will Rogers

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.  -Winston Churchill

Who doesn’t love a Merry-Go-Round.

I mean… for crying out loud.  First of all… they go round and round.  And secondly…. they are simply Merry all over the place.

But ARE they? Truly?

Have you ever seen the movie… ‘Something Wicked This Way Comes’?  As I recall… there was something extremely sinister about the Merry Go-Round on which Jason Robards lurked.

And what about action movies…  someone is ALWAYS getting in a shoot-out at the Merry-Go-Round.  And then one of the bad guys get hit… and they slump over the horse…. all dead and limp…. and go round and round…

What about the movie… The Sting… with Newman and Redford?  That Carousel was the secret entrance for the Brothel / Speakeasy.

Well…   The old Merry-Go-Round has been AROUND for a long time.  It started out in the 12th century… or about then.   Knights would gallop in a circle while tossing balls from one to another….. an activity that required great skill and horsemanship.

Over the centuries.. this evolved into a whole bunch of different things.  But.. it wasn’t until the 19th century…. that the very first steam-powered mechanical roundabout…. as they were called…. was invented by Thomas Bradshaw.

English Dude.  In England.  It appeared at the Aylsham Fair in about 1861.

But any way.  Back to today.  New Carousels kind of creep me out.  Mostly because the horses look crazy-go-nuts.   Wild horses.  They will drag you away.

If I were a kid… I would not want to ride the one I saw today.  Those horses were really eerie. Maybe even menacing.

Okay… okay…. truth be told… they are NOT really scary at all.  Falling off a roof is scary.  Riding a Merry-Go-Round is a bit on the boring side, really.  It is kind of like when you get stuck at some Social Dinner… sitting next to Edna…. and she talks about her pet snail collection for hours on end.  And how her husband, Claude, has a real preoccupation with edging the lawn… and it bothers her… the fact that he is out there.. all hours of the day.  Hell… he doesn’t even know the names of her snails.  And…
And… well… you get the picture.  It just goes round and round and round.  And the painted ponies go up and down.

Tomorrow…. it is back to the Fair for me.  I might try the Ferris Wheel.  It will be a little more like falling off a roof.

“Until he extends the circle of his compassion to all living things, man will not himself find peace. – The Philosophy of Civilization.”  –   Albert Schweitzer

“Don’t you ever wonder maybe if you took a left turn instead of a right you could be someone different?” – Unknown

Fair Week.  The Preble County Fair, to be exact.

I love county fairs.  There is just something about walking down the Fairway… and seeing all the sights.  Little kids battling a fistful of cotton candy.  Twelve-year olds guiding their goats to the judging arena.  Women holding Circus Waffles like they have discovered the Ark of the Covenant.  It goes on an  on.

Ahhh.  Not only are their sights… there are smells.  Sometimes this is a good thing.  Other times… Not so much.

Today was my third day of being at the Fairgrounds.  All three have been working days.  This particular stint was at the South Entrance Gate.

It goes like this.  People drive up.  They want to go to the fair.  I ask them for $6 a piece.  They give it to me.  I give them each a ticket.   And in they go.  Wash and repeat.   And repeat and repeat.  And about six hours later… a lot of people have passed my ticket apron.

My favorite part of that… Is when my shift ends.

And when it ended… We grabbed a hamburger and headed to the grandstands for the horse races.

I sat there eating, and began wondering why hamburger are called hamburgers.  They are not made of ham.  Did someone named Ham make the first one.  Or did they used to come from pig meat… And then it got switched to cow.

In this case… We were eating Chuckburgers.  I couldn’t help but to think the very worst .

Then… Out of the clear blue… One of the horses had a wreck.   I never found out if she was okay, or not.  But this day was going downhill rather quickly.  First the hamburger conundrum… An now THIS!

So… Away we went.

I have to go back to the fair tomorrow… to do some more work.

Hopefully, it will all just be happy Circus Waffles, Elephant Ears, and Corn Dogs.

Ooooh no.  Now I am wondering why THOSE things are called what they ARE.  This fair-business is emotionally taxing I’ll tell you.

“In times of stress, be bold and valiant.”   – Horace

How I love photography.

It is the one form of art… where one split second… or a single moment…. can be caught exactly as it was in time.

A person.  A landscape.  A building.  An animal.  A bowl of oatmeal.

We all know…. a painting or drawing…..  can take a long,long time.  And while some are  incredibly realistic, they don’t ‘record’ that instant… instantaneously.

And film.  Film is motion.  On going.  Yes lots of moments.  But no stillness.  No singleness.   Music can be seen, yes.  But it records moments differently… audibly with the ability to prompt a visual response.

Photography, and the premise of its vision …. well…. it gives me the shivers.  Like a lemon tart gives me the shivers.

Today, I judged a photography contest.  I am not sure I am well-suited to be a judge.  I have no robe.  And no gavel.

But seriously…. with photo-judging…. there is the whole technical aspect of it… which weighs heavily.  But there is also the aesthetic part, the story-telling part, and then.. the OTHER thing.

The OTHER thing that happens when you see certain images…. and you say… “Holy Smacker-oly.  That is an AMAZING photograph.”  It moves beyond just being a two-dimensional representation of something.  It becomes compelling.

So.  Today was hard.  All sorts of photographs, from artists of all ages.   And each one of them sees through that viewfinder differently.

But as hard as it was today… it reminded me just how diverse, and resonant, and inspiring this art form can be.   And that’s what I like.

Now… the floral competition… which took place in the same building… at the same time… was an entirely different matter.  You can bet your Aster on it.

“A photograph is a secret about a secret. The more it tells you the less you know.”
Diane Arbus

“Which of my photographs is my favorite? The one I’m going to take tomorrow.” – Imogen Cunningham

“In photography there is a reality so subtle that it becomes more real than reality.” – Alfred Stieglitz

“There is nothing worse than a brilliant image of a fuzzy concept.” -Ansel Adams

Yep.  I am so tired tonight.  Too pooped to pop.  So…. all I can muster up is this photo of corn.

In case you didn’t know….. IT is a Corn Fluffy.  The thing on the top of the ear.  The thing that you shuck off before you shuck off the rest of the wrapper.  Oh… just shuck it all.

Ohhhh….  the corn ear.

Which makes me wonder… do ears of corn have lobes?  Or for that matter… do any of them want to be pierced when they get to be teenagers?

What about ear drums?  And if they DO have drums…  are they bass… or snare… or….

I bet there are Rock ’n’ Roll Corn Bands.   Like.  Maizey Cob and the Stalkers… or something.

Okay… maybe corn doesn’t have Bands.  But I bet you sure as shooting… they have a military.  Look how they are always standing around in rows.  Like little soldiers.  Do you know the highest ranking corn in the military?  Kernel.

Enough.  Like I said… I  am tired tonight.  No stories or wit for you.

But I will add this.   I DO like corn.  Corn is nice.  It never says bad words.  It just says… “Oh Shucks.”

Okay, seriously.  Just a picture of this corn.  And that is all.

Because…. my jokes about corn were so bad tonight… you might start accusing me of being a cereal killer.

“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be”  –   Marcel Pagnol

Do things ever just recklessly pop into your head…. and you think…. “Now where the CRAP did that come from?”

Like today… I was chopping up some cauliflower… and all of a sudden out of nowhere…   “Jessica Hahn” pops into my head.  I know the name but can’t remember exactly who she is.  Finally it comes back.

She hasn’t been in the news in a couple of decades.  She is best known for a sex scandal involving televangelist Jim Bakker while she was employed as a church secretary. Hahn first came to public attention following Bakker’s announcement in 1987 that he was stepping down as head of PTL (Praise The Lord Network), pending the imminent disclosure of the sexual encounter.  According to Hahn, she was drugged and raped by Bakker and another preacher, John Wesley Fletcher.

But why did it just come to mind… right here and  right now.

A little later in the day, I am doing some work on a project and here comes another word… out of nowhere.  “AstraZeneca”

Again, I ask you… what the heck?  AstraZeneca is a biopharmaceutical company specializing in the discovery, and  manufacturing of prescription medicines.

Next on the lineup.   “Horse Hockey”   That was the third one.   In the middle of washing up some dishes… it came down upon me.  I wasn’t around horses.  I wasn’t watching hockey.  But there the word came… like a flash of lightning from the sky… “Horse Hockey.”

Does anyone even still use the phrase horse hockey?

I don’t know why this happens to me, but it does.  Most of the time the culprit comes in the  form of  someone’s proper name.    Buster Keaton.  John Hinckley Jr.  Evander Holyfield.  Bea Arthur.  My brain just clicks along with an endless barrage of useless information and random thoughts.

And, I don’t really know why I am writing about it tonight.  There is not moral to the story… or any catchy phrase.  It is just that some days… I feel like I am from another planet.  That planet could be a place where random people all gather at a really big arena… to watch Horse Hockey.

But this much I swear to you.  I am not taking any mind altering drugs made by AstraZeneca.

“Let your mind start a journey thru a strange new world. Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before. Let your soul take you where you long to be…Close your eyes let your spirit start to soar, and you’ll live as you’ve never lived before.” – Erich Fromm

“What is right for one soul may not be right for another. It may mean having to stand on your own and do something strange in the eyes of others.”  –   Eileen Caddy

What do you want to be when you grow up?

We ask kids this all the time. Especially… when someone is trying to make conversation with a kid. You know how it goes….. “What grade are you in? What is your favorite subject? What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Most of the time they give an non affecting… “I dunno.” Why would they tell a total stranger… or for that matter…. anyone at all?

I didn’t. I found out pretty quickly that certain aspirations were met with… either a patronizing response… or a spoonful of jeer.

Yet. When I was little, I totally knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. (It would morph from time to time… but I always knew.) I wanted to be Barbra Streisand as Fanny Brice in Funny Girl. I wanted to be the starting shortstop for the Cincinnati Reds. I wanted to be one of the Jackson Five. Yes… it would change… depending on the season.. I suppose.

But I had three standards. These were the three biggies.

Mark Spitz. Saint Francis. Dr. Doolittle.

I know what you are thinking…. all three were pretty unrealistic. And in fact… none of them came to an exacting fruition.

On the other hand… Let’s break it down… one by one.
As for Mark Spitz. Well. I DO swim every day.. when weather permits. I have never won seven gold medals swimming. But I eat Gold Medal Flour. The bottom line is…. though…. I love being in water. So I get in water.

Now St. Francis. Nope. No Sainthood here. That fell through the cracks a long, long, long time ago. But I am kind to animals. I care about animals. Just like Franky-boy… I think they are worthy beings.

On to Dr. Doolittle. Same genre. Different dude. I talk to animals all the time. This is so easy… I am surprised more people don’t do it. But. Then there is the rest of it. Some of the times… I can guess what they might be saying back. But. This is the hard part. The listening.

We THINK we know what they are thinking… but DO we?

Take our fish for instance. Ethel, and Esther, and Josephine.. will eat right out my hand these days. But then there is Bertha. We have nicknamed here the bus. And here is why. She is a bus. Like Jerome Bettis. She has Steelers colors too. But I digress.

Every morning, noon, or night… when I feed the group… Bertha sneaks up and splashes the holy-heck right out me. It never fails.

You can bet I talk to her. I tell her all about my Catholic upbringing… and how we used to have big Fish Fry’s at the Church. I tell her how much I love fried fish. With tartar sauce. On a bun.

Well…. it is in one fish ear… and out the other. She’ll splash me tomorrow morning.  You can count on it.

So… I guess I don’t have the Dr. Doolittle thing quite down pat. Or for that matter… the St. Francis thing. Maybe I should just get in the water… and swim with her. Like Spitz.

“If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.”  –   Flavia Weedn

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”  –   C.S. Lewis

Well that’s the pot calling the kettle black, Maxine!

Seriously Frances…. it’s pretty bad.  What in the world have you been eating?

I can’t believe you have the nerve to stand there, and tell me that MY breath stinks?  Holy smokes you little rat-chaser…. your breath has smelled horrible since you lost those three teeth.  What’ that been… four or five years now?  Do I ever say anything to YOU about your breath?   Noooooooooooo….

France.  Don’t be so dang defensive.   Geez.  All I said was that you smelled a little ripe there buddy.

Fine.

Fine.

So… big Sis.  Are you gonna tell me what it was you ate?

Cow Dung.  Third time this week!  Gawd I love that stuff.

And you got mad when I called you Potty-Breath?  Frances, Frances, Frances…..

“Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people.”  –   Spencer Johnson

“If it is not right, do not do it; if it is not true, do not say it.”  –   Marcus Aurelius