“Can I ask your advice on something?”

Advice.  Now… I think this is a word that had fallen adrift in recent years.  There was a time, when “advice” was given freely.  And people asked for it… as often as they gave it.

“Take my advice on this.” …. OR….  “If you want my advice…”

I first took someone’s advice when I was about six or seven.  IN a candy story.  I was going to buy a Charm’s Sour Pop.  But my friend talked me into getting one of those really pretty lollipop deal s… the kind that are multicolored and swirl around.  (Like Shirley Temple used to snack on.)  At any rate… I was a sucker.  That sucker sucked.  It tasted like stale sugar… not at all as good as a Charm’s Sour Pop.  That was the last time I ever took Blinky Pendleton’s advice on ANYTHING.

Anyways……  nowadays… you just don’t hear “advice” as often as you used.  Ahhh…. but it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Yes… it seems these days …. we just call it something different.

It is called an opinion.  “What did you think of the movie?”  “Well… in my opinion…. it wasn’t very good.”     OR…. “How is that restaurant that just opened?”  “Oh, it is SO great.  But that is just my opinion.”

It is like having an opinion is less committal than giving your advice.  Advice is something you can bank on.  Solid.  Like a rock.  And if someone is wrong… and they have advised you???….. WELL!  That is almost grounds for a lawsuit.   “I took his advice and bought that book…. and I still don’t have seven highly effective habits.  Fool book!”

But if you give an opinion, it is like a “free pass” card.  “I like it… but you may not.  JUST my opinion.”

At any rate… tonight we ate dinner at a WAY crappy restaurant.  It just wasn’t very good at all.  We went because someone recommended it to us.  I can’t remember if they used the line… “in my opinion.”  But if they advised us?  We will most definitely be heading to Small Claims Court.  You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.

“A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need the advice.”  – Bill Cosby

Most of the time… I find myself adrift in thought.  I will physically be present in a certain place or time… buy my mind is not running in the same dimension.  At all.

This happens to me several times each day.  I will snap back to it… and see the person in front of me… moving their mouth up and down… and up and down.  But I have absolutely no idea what he or she just said.  Going. Going.  Gone.

Take this…. for example.  You know I love a good movie.  Well… I was watching  The Desolation of Smaug on our video cue.  The next thing I knew… those poor little dwarfs were in a heck of bind…  I mean a SERIOUS pinch.… and I had no idea how they got into that predicament.    Nope.  You see….  I had been to Hammondsport, NY… for a little while.  And now I was back… right in front of the TV.

I am sort of like “The Transporter”… with a limp.

Apparently.  I am not the only one with this affliction.

So. Back to the movies….

One of my favorites when I was growing up was “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” which first came out in 1947.  It starred Danny Kaye (another one of my comedic heroes).  (The remake in 2013 with Ben Stiller is pretty decent too.)

The  movie is based on a short story… written by James Thurber in 1939.  It is probably the most famous of Thurber’s stories.  As with many of his stories…. it first appeared in The New Yorker (Magazine) on March 18, 1939.

I recently learned this:  The name Walter Mitty and the derivative word “Mittyesque”…..  … which denotes an ineffectual person who spends more time in heroic daydreams than paying attention to the real world.  In some cases….it refers to a person who intentionally attempts to mislead or convince others that he is something that he is not.

But old Walt would drift in and out… in his heroic escapades of the mind.  Helplessly.

Until of course, one day… he finds his heroic Mojo.

My drifting is far less glamorous.  I can assure you.  It mostly consists of me… making “projections” about upcoming events….  or lamenting a mistake I’ve made… in a day gone by.  And…. wishing … that on one of those occasions…. that life would give us Mulligans.  Do overs.

The Secret Life of Polly Whoosydoodle.   That’s me.  So.  The next time we talk… and I have a crappy grin on my face…. don’t take it personally.  I’m probably just visiting  Wichita Falls… or De Moines… or something.

I’d rather be where I am standing… but the truth of the matter is…. it’s all in my head.

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“There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other.”  — Douglas H. Everett
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“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”  —  C.S. Lewis
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Some things, simply cannot be explained.   I was walking down the road this evening, and a Pine Needle pinged me on the left cheek.  The left cheek on my face.

Many of the “unexplainable occurrences” in life are obvious.  Like the incredible and intricate designs which are found in nature.  There are so many plants, for example, which are brilliant in their own right.  This continues on from the smallest little ant, to the largest mountain range.  Heck from the core of the earth to the depths of outer space.

Then there are the mysteries which just kind of freak you out… hair-stands-up-on-your-neck freak you out.  Like the Stanley Hotel in Estes Park, Colorado.  The big stinking-beyond-reason haunted hotel… with all the creepy guest rooms, ballrooms,  hallways and more.  Children running throughout the halls, the sounds of banging, clanging, voices and overall mischief.  Yeppers.   It is the haunted hotel depicted in The Shining.

There are other mysteries, like the disappearances in the Bermuda Triangle…  or perhaps “The Fall of the Minoans” some three and a half millenniums ago…. on the island of Crete.

How about the Antikythera Mechanism?   It is an ancient and very intricate machine found in a shipwreck near Greece that dates back to about 100 BC.

The Antikythera mechanism is SO cool.  It contains gears and structures that were not found in devices again for like….. another….. 1000 years.  And that is when the Chinese finally started constructing gear-type gadgets.  But the Antikythera’s purpose cannot be explained.  It was WAY out of place for its time.

And then…. today… on a most serious note…. I read that the search for Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 is right on back to square one.  Which yields another mystery.

According to the Australian Transport Safety Bureau, “the search in the vicinity of the acoustic detections can now be considered complete and, in its professional judgment, the area can now be discounted as the final resting place of MH370.”

Apparently…. the four acoustic pings that were driving the ENTIRE search…..did not actually come from the plane at all.   Yeppers  again.  The Big Whigs now believe that the sounds probably emanated from some other man-made source.   No plane went down there.

Now I feel terribly sorry for all the families of those missing from this flight.  They have no closure.  And it sounds like they may never have an answer.  I have lots of questions about this whole deal.  And logic isn’t providing replies to any of them.

Perhaps we need to refer to the U.S. Government sealed documents concerning  Roswell… and Area 51.  Which might help clear up the Bermuda Triangle, the Fall of the Minoans, the Antikythera Mechanism…. and more.

Yet. With all of this, there are still many other things which will never, EVER be explained.  Like … young girls’ attraction to Justin Beiber, or Joan River’s face.  Or how Baywatch stayed on TV as long as it did.  Some things… you are better off…. never Ping-ing.

“Without mysteries, life would be very dull indeed. What would be left to strive for if everything were known?”  –  Charles de Lint

Communication.  Now…. that is quite a subject isn’t it?  It is how we humans interact.  And everyone else for that matter.

It is basically…. the imparting or exchanging of information or news.  Ducks quacking back and forth.  Dandelions nodding to one another.  Bob, ordering a Big Mac and Large Fries at the drive-thru speaker.

Yabba Dabba Doo.

There are all sorts of communication too.  Verbal and Non-Verbal.  Honest and Dishonest.  Good and Bad.  Effective and Ineffective.  Funny and Serious.  Oh… it goes on and on.

Today… I have added another form to the list.   Polly Communications and the rest of the World’s.

Yep. It has been one of those days where speaking and hearing have been a real problem for me.  I’ve struggled with it all day long.

It seems like people are trying to speak with me… logically… and in English.  Like they are trying to tell me something.  But it has gotten lost in translation several times over the day.  The same is true in reverse.

I’ve had a few stumbling blocks… when attempting to impart or exchange information or news.

Thankfully for me… the people who matter the most… have been patient… and understanding.  They know my mojo is off… just by looking at me.  Or more succinctly… by listening to me.

Maybe I make it all too complicated. I read too much into things.  Or get my feelings hurt too easily.  Or I just worry too much.  Who knows.  But I need a simpler approach.  I know that for sure.

Trying to communicate today had been… well… atrocious.
If I were a cow… it would be udderly impossible.
Or a grape… my communications would have soured.
A fighter plane… it would have bombed.
And a car… my interactions would be backfiring.

Nothing has gone from point A to point B for me… not even as close as the letter Y.

I drove by a beautiful farm today.  It seemed quiet.  Straightforward.  I imagined that communication is much simpler there.  Especially when it comes to the exchanging of information.
“I’m heading out to milk the cows.”
“OK”
…. or…perhaps ….
“You left the barn door open.”
“OK”

Take this field, for example.  Do you know how one bale greets the other bale?
It says….. “Hey.”
And the other one says right back.
“Hey.”

And tonight… I sit here hoping… and wishing… for something as simple as a… Hey Day.

But truthfully…… …. I better wrap this up tonight…. before I say something I don’t really mean.
You Big Ding Dong.

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”  – George Bernard Shaw

All of a sudden, I am looking at history a bit differently.

I guess this is a direct result of my recent travels and experiences.  I looked at “Today’s Historical Events” and discovered these little gems.  It seems that each one of them … for one reason or another…  seems somehow “relatable” to me.

A short list…. of “On This Day” … in the year…..

1660 – Denmark & Sweden sign ceasefire.  (Heck… I’ve been in both Denmark AND Sweden.)

1703 – St Petersburg (Leningrad) founded by Peter the Great.   (Well… looky there.  I spent a couple of days in St. Petersburg too.)

1883 – Czar Alexander III crowned in Moscow.  (Wouldn’t you know?  I walked through the same halls where Czar Alexander’s feet-in-boots walked.)

1907 – Bubonic Plague breaks out in San Francisco.  ( How about that them Baked Beans!   I ate Sourdough bread for lunch.)

1933 – Walt Disney’s “3 Little Pigs” released.  (It just keeps going.  I had ham on my Sourdough Bread Sandwich.)

1930 – Richard Drew invents masking tape.  (When I was a kid, I read the Nancy Drew Mysteries.  I have used masking tape on many occasions.)

Holy Canoly.  This is such a HUGE Small world.  All connected.  And intertwined.

Like cable.  And fence posts.  Sort of.  Or electrical wire, maybe.  Or even string cheese at a deli.

“And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.”  —   Spike Milligan

Okay.  My little hands are shaking tonight.  Ginormous hands, actually….  Bu no matter.  I can’t write.

Well.  Maybe a little.  I was going to tell you all about this great and wonderful Memorial Day…. which capped off a truly fun and VERY active weekend.

I mean… today alone.  Holy Smackerels.  What a day at the races.

I saved a little toadish-frogish-toad.  He was trying to hop around poolside,  while I cleaned out the main filter system.  But his little webs were getting very hot on our stone tiles which cover the entire patio area.  So he was walking along… picking up his little feet… you could almost hear him saying… “Ooooo Ooooooooo Ooooo.  Ouch. Ouch.”

At any rate, I scooped him up and took him down by the pond.  He complained about his aching webs the whole way.

Later in the afteroon….  there was a swim / pizza party with five of my favorite people in the world.  Oh my goodness.  What a splashing good time.  And Vic Cassano did the pizza exactly right. During the evening … we took a gator ride down to the bridge and hunted for flat rocks.

We found a bunch!  And skipped some rocks too.

But I can’t write about any of this… and so much more.  The things which smattered our weekend with tiny great blessings here and there.

Tonight, as I sat down at the keyboard, I let the dogs out to pee one more time before beddie-bye.

Well… Brutus the Raccoon came on the scene.  What a horrible sounding melee. There was growling, barking, yipping, screaming, crying… ….  AND THEN you should have heard all the noises the dogs and the raccoon were making.

At any rate, the beast got a hold of Ollie…. at least it sounded that way.  Mary and I took flight out the door, armed with a ball bat and a broom.  We eventually got both dogs back in the house.  But not without a big bunch of adrenaline-pumping excitement.

Maxine was in the house.  Deaf, and not seeing so well.  She just sat in the middle of the living room… wondering where the hell everyone went.

So as you can see… writing is out of the question tonight.  Maybe I’ll have something to say tomorrow.

“Holy Smokes.  Don’t hit Frances!” – Polly to Broom-Wielding-Mary

“Grab HER!  Geeeeezzzz.  Grab HERRRR!” – Mary to Bat-Wielding-Polly

“And this used to be such a nice neighborhood.” – Brutus the Raccoon

I sure do like to learn knew things.  As such, I read a lot of articles.  The problem is… I am a slow reader.  Heck.   I have to read things over and over again.  I also get words and numbers mixed up.  Part of this has been blamed on “Dyslexic Tendencies.”

But the article I read today stated that recent scientific evidence suggests there is no such thing as Dyslexia. (Source:  The Dyslexia Debate, authored by Julian Elliott and Elena Grigorenko, is published by Cambridge University Press (2014).

It seems a lot of the population is diagnosed this way.  But the determination is incorrect.

So now I am in a world of hurt about this.

You see… here are some things that now I am worried about.

I thought I had a really strong liking for COD.  As it turns out… I am OCD.

My friends are raising cows, and they purchased a new STEER.  All along, I thought they bought a bunch of TREES.

As a baby, I figured I would grow up to be a STARLET.  Nope.  I was just sitting around playing with RATTLES.

Traffic.  Now there is a problem for me.  I get beeped at a lot.  I like to buy gifts for my “green thumb” friends.  So every time I see one of those big red POTS signs… I speed right through.  I just discovered I should have made a STOP.

More trouble in the shower.  I have been shaving my TIPS for a lot of years.  Now I find out.. I should have been shaving my PITS.  Imagine the dismay.

Speaking of hair, I thought it would by snappy to grow a BEARD.  Nope.  The truth of it is… I simply had a strong love for BREAD.

I heard that taking afternoon NAPS is good for your health.  But alas… I have been carrying around PANS during the midday hours.

Last year… I tried to attend a SEMINAR.  Instead, I signed up for the MARINES.

In a parable I read a long time ago … they said those who are LAST shall be first.  From that point on…. I have been eating loads of SALT to try to get ahead.

So  my troubles… it seems.. cannot be blamed on Dyslexia.

To sum it all up… I thought maybe I would need a “mixed up” 12 STEP Program. Instead, I came home with 21 PETS.

Which leads me to this… I think there must be a power greater than ourselves…. at work in this universe.  A GOD if you will.  At the same time …. I believe in DOG.

What on EARTH could it be?  I suppose I am glad it is all in my head.. and not my HEART.

And tonight’s photo:  I tried to capture a RAG on a FENCE.  And I did.  (Looks like I am making progress.)

“Learn from the mistakes of others-you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.”  –  John Luther

As I sit here this evening wondering what to write… I stumble a little.

You see, I have just returned from such a marvelous adventure.  I saw castles filled with riches, and Viking ships.  I walked through the palaces of Kings, Queens, and Czars … and …. and… who could forget the department store in Helsinki?

So today. Well, let’s see.

I pulled a dead mole out of the pool.  I backwashed the Koi pond about 54 times.  Scrubbed outdoor furniture.  Laundry.  Leaf blowing, weed pulling, and such.  Filled the bird feeders.  You now.  All the usual suspects.  Truthfully, it seems a little lame in comparison.

But is it?  I’m not so sure.

It is simply different.

It seems we become accustomed to the “every day” activities of our lives.  The repetitive.  Punching the time clock, filling our tanks with gas, mowing the lawn, making beds, grocery shopping.   The whole palooza.

But today, I had a whole bunch of happy little moments…. all over the place.  I saw the coolest little Nuthatch on one of our feeders.  (Along with a hundred others).  I swam in the pool for the first time this year.  We ate amazingly tasty Chinese food for dinner (Yum Yum’s in Oxford.  You all need to try it.)  There were warmest regards from the Puppy Train, which followed me throughout the day.

Most certainly, it was all good.

The best of it is simply this:  I am living and breathing.  I can see, hear, smell, taste, and touch.  Walk. Run. Swim.  Jump.  I can speak, and think.  I am free.  There is a shelter over my head, and food on my table.

To some people…. the things on this list are evasive.  But I had them all today.  That is miraculous.

Maybe the excitement doesn’t have to come from visiting a far away land.  Perhaps it is even MORE awe-inspiring and breathtaking… to visit the palaces of my own existence.  My heart, my head, my spirit.    That is where the true riches are.  The most magnificent vistas might… in fact…. be right in our own back yards.

“I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself.”  –   Maya Angelou

It is good to be home.  Yes indeed.

I met a lot of really great dogs in Europe.  Totally wonderful.

But when it comes right down to it…

There is no place like dog.  Your best pally dogs.

“To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.”  –   Brandi Snyder

Some days are longer than others. This much is true. I woke up this morning in Amsterdam…. nearly 24 hours ago. I have had a couple of little naps on the plane rides home. But mostly, I feel a little KaBloooey. Spent. Blinky. Like on the fritz… blinky. That’s because we had to complete all Ten Phases of Trans Atlantic Travel today. Yes. The Fearless Four. Louie, Buddy, Lou, and Bud. Phase 10. Check.

All of that aside… .more than anything … I am glad to be home. I have spent about 15 days on this European Tryst.

Oh my senses. What they DID sense. Some of this was in a plane, some in a boat, or bus, or car. And some of this on foot.

By far, my favorite way, is on foot.

At the very beginning of this journey, I had no real expectations. I tried not to guess either. I did not read about the particular cities we planned to visit. Or the countries. I simply wanted to go and have at it…. for myself. And maybe that’s why the people seemed livelier (with the exception of Helsinki)… and why the food tasted better (again, Helsinki…. not so much)…. and why the buildings, the history, the culture…. seemed more vibrant and intriguing (sorry about the city from Hell in Finland).

There I was. Clear across the globe. And now I am glad to have scootched on back.

The conversation changes when you come this far… this quickly. It went from… “The Monarchy’s Palace is Amazing! Look at that gold dome.” to this….

On our drive home from the airport.. “Well, it looks like the Reynold’s just mowed today.” and “Hey. The Smith’s corn is really starting to come up.” or “I think the Woodley’s are bringing in their hay.”

Yep. Home Sweet Home. It is a lot like Kansas Dorothy. A lot. And for that…. I am happy.  And tired.  I can’t keep my eyes open another minute.  Sweet Dreams, my friends.  All over the world.

“To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive.”  –   Robert Louis Stevenson  

“The world is a dangerous place. Not because of the people who are evil; but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.”  –   Albert Einstein

“I wasn’t really asleep I was just meditating on unconsciousness.” – Unknown