I just heard on the new this evening, that the United States is currently facing a huge shortage of bananas .

Apparently, the shortage is due to the massive increase in the clown population here.

In related news…. 43 clowns were arrested on I-75. All 43 were traveling southbound in a Volkswagen Beetle. They were cited for seatbelt violations and for throwing banana peels from the windows of the vehicle.

What a bunch of Bozos.

In yet other news… a circus clown was eaten by a lion on Tuesday.  When interviewed, the lion stated that the clown tasted funny.

Oh sure. It is all fun and games… until somebody gets hurt.

“Fun is Good.” – Dr. Seuss

As I journey through each day, I happen upon things. Sometimes I stumble across them. Other times I am searching. But they are discoveries, no less. And some of them are incredibly remarkable. Amazing.

It could be as simple as realizing how to fit the gas cap on the leaf blower, just right, without a struggle. OR it could be something as monumental as finding out that there are 62,000 miles of blood vessels in the human body… and if you laid end to end they would circle the earth 2.5 times

Some people would call these “items” commonplace. But some of us call them extraordinary, fortuitous, phenomenal, or even miraculous.

Phenomenon. Wonder. Miracle.

All of these run along the same line in meaning. As described in the dictionary….. they mostly go like this. A fact or situation that is observed to exist, especially one whose cause or explanation is in question.
OR….a surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be highly improbable.

Unexpected. Improbable. Neato.

If only I could recognize these “miracles” each and every day. Sometimes, I let them go unnoticed.

Yet.
Other times…. they fill me. They overwhelm me with joy.

Such a thing happened today. I seem to identify them more easily when it is a “first” in my life. Something I have never seen or done before.

Today, I saw my first Pileated Woodpecker. Up close and personal… in the flesh. In the feathers.

I gasped. I watched. And then I grabbed a camera.

Now some may think this is nothing. But to me, it is a wonder of this world. Like white puffy clouds, or ice crystal patterns spreading on glass, or tree roots which breach the ground to remind you they are there.

This Pileated was a beautifully large bird, with a crown of red. He had such purpose. He had great awareness. He had a beautiful coat of shiny feathers. Not to mention a really big pecker.

Honestly, I watched him work on a suet cake for a very long time. It made me happy…. for some reason. It made me happy…. for no reason at all.

Yes, I think life is full of miracles. Large and small. No matter what you call them, or who or what you may think is responsible for them…. they happen.

I am most grateful for miracles. And red headed birds.

He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.  –  Albert Einstein

When you make the finding yourself – even if you’re the last person on Earth to see the light – you’ll never forget it.  –  Carl Sagan

Today was Presidents’ Day.

Here in the U.S., we have had some good ones and some bad ones.
I guess it sort of depend on which side of the aisle you are standing.

At any rate, they have come in all shapes and sizes, and from all walks of life.

How about our littlest fella? That would be James Madison. . (1751-1836). He was the shortest president of the United States, standing at only 5’4”. He never weighed more than 100 pounds.
And our skyscraper. None other than Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865). He measured in at 6′ 4” and weighing 180 pounds.

And… if you wanted a drink…. old Abe was your man. He is the only U.S. president who was also a licensed bartender. He was co-owner of Berry and Lincoln, a saloon in Springfield, Illinois.

Who was our Chatty Cathy? James Abram Garfield (1831-1881) is the first president to ever talk on the phone. When he spoke to Alexander Graham Bell, who was at the other end 13 miles away, he said: “Please speak a little more slowly.

And in case you didn’t know it. We probably had a gay president. Oh yes. James Buchanan is the only bachelor president. He was virtually inseparable from William R. King (1786-1853), a senator from Alabama. Because of their “like” for one another…. the pair was saddled with the nickname “Miss Nancy and Aunt Fancy” and also…..“Mr. Buchanan and his wife.”

At least they were faithful to one another.
A WHOLE bunch of the presidents cheated on their wives. Of course the most notorious were Jack Kennedy and Bill Clinton. But how about the others?

Lyndon Baines Johnson “LBJ”(1908-1973) affectionately called the many women he slept with his “harem.” He even had a buzzer system installed that rang inside the Oval Office so that Secret Service could warn him when his wife was coming.

Twenty-ninth president Warren Gamaliel Harding (1865-1923) repeatedly made love to a young girl, Nan Britton, in a White House closet. On one occasion, Secret Service agents had to stop his wife from beating down the closet door.

But who was the worst president? Well, Harding, Nixon, and Grant always seem to show up at the very bottom of the various lists.

And finally….Calvin Coolidge liked to have his head rubbed with petroleum jelly while eating his breakfast in bed.

I mean really. Who doesn’t.

At any rate… these are just a few little snippets from the lives of the U.S. Presidents. Happy Day Guys.

Hail to the Chief.

 If I’m honest I have to tell you I still read fairy-tales and I like them best of all.  — Audrey Hepburn

There are certain phrases in our language, which say one thing, very clearly. Yet….. more often than not….. they mean something entirely different.

Oh you know. Like. “Well, the cat’s out of the bag!” Or… “Easy as pie.”

Most of the time, when people say those things…. there is no cat around, and certainly not one in a bag. Same thing with the dang pie.

But…. in the majority of cases… when someone uses a phrase like that.. it means that YOU are in big trouble. Yep.  You are crap out of luck. Jerked. In dire straights. Duped. Up the proverbial creek without the handy paddle.

One that comes to mind, is a pet peeve of mine. “It is what it is.” People throw that one around a lot.

For instance… someone says… “NASA has confirmed global climate changes. Driven by increasing man-made emissions, the level of carbon dioxide in Earth’s atmosphere presently is higher than at any time in the last 800,000 years.”

And the next person says…. “Well. It is what it is.”

Arrrrrrgggghhhhh….. which translates… well there is nothing to be done about it. Just throw your hands in the air and accept our jelly spines.

Okay. Forget that example. Everyone uses it. It makes me crazy.  But it is what it is.

Here is another. “That’s the way the ball bounces.”

Now that one means you are plain out of luck. You’re done.  You are jerked. Bluto. Kaput.  The “way the ball  bounces” is just another one of those…. throw your hands in the air and give up. Bounce. Bounce. Bounce.

One more… and I will stop.

“On down the line.”

Now when you hear this one… it means that the person saying it has absolutely no intention of doing something.

“Yep. Maybe we will get to that… on down the line.” OR….. “Oh yes. We’ll have to get together for lunch….. sometime on down the line.”

Go ahead. Ask them. “What line?” I want to know how far away that line is.

So. When someone gives you bad news, or is not telling you the whole truth, they will mostly use a catchy phrase to distract you. Shift the focus. Hide the message.

And if it happens to you…. Keep a stiff upper lip. Don’t put your head in the sand. Buckle down. And stay as cool as a cucumber.

But not all at once. You will get sand in you lip, and squish your cucumber.

Then again… if it happens…. it is what it is.

Circumstances do not make the man, they reveal him.  — James Allen

While I was on the beach yesterday, some 1,417 miles from where I am sitting now…. someone said to me…. “Well. Isn’t it a small world?”

From Here. To There.

The context of this came around because we had made a “connection” between us. You know. We both knew some “common person” in some “common place.” HIs cousin Joe went to school in Charleston, SC, and I sometimes live in Charleston, SC.

This seems to be a thing that frequently happens when people travel to new places, or go on vacation. Everyone seems to meet up with another person, or several people, that they “know” somehow… or “share” a related thing.

“Geeez. It sure is a small world.”

Yep. I think that is a true statement. It is a small world on a big, big planet.

But here is the thing. We are all connected. Each and every one of us. If we sat down with any other person on this planet, and talked long enough, we would figure out what that commonality was. Our “shared” thing.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could remember this all the time? We are all connected. One big place…. that each and every individual shares. We all have a right to be here. We exist here, in this place, because it was meant to be.

All the moments before now, have come together, to bring you right where you stand at this minute. You are not the only one. We are all that way.

Your parents happened to meet, exactly when they did. All the things that happened in their lives, came together at just the right moments, that you were born just when you were.

And their parents before them. And theirs before them…. and on and on.

So, here we are. All in this same place with all these miraculous moments coming together to facilitate our being here. Whether it is a Divine Design…. or a Unintentional Pattern, is up to you to believe. But none the less, it happened…. JUST SO.  It happened precisely, and perfectly, so that you are here RIGHT EXACTLY NOW.

That is our biggest connection of all.   If we could just remember that …. about all of our co-inhabitants.  And find understanding, and compassion, for those who are just like us.  Everywhere.

It is a small world. And a really big planet.

We are all alike, on the inside.  —  Mark Twain

From the window of my plane over the Grand Cayman Island, to the windshield of my car, in Cincinnati, Ohio.  Two worlds, on the same planet…. in one day.

This has been a long day.  More tomorrow friends…..

No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow.  — Lin Yutang

It all is changing. Right this very moment. The world changes. That is what life does.

And, you see…. on this day.  I was, for the most part, in the same place, from morning to night.

But just by adjusting my perspective, or even waiting for a different time of day…. things looked quite different.  The environment around me transformed.  Not because I changed it.  Simply because I moved or shifted slightly.

And so it is with the situations, or the people we encounter in life. A change in perspective, point of view, or time of day…. changes how everything looks to us.  We can not alter the “thing” or the “person” or the “place”…. but we CAN change how we look at it.

And just when we thought it couldn’t be any more beautiful… it becomes something different…. and often times… much more amazing.

Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.  — Albert Einstein

Continue reading →

All in all, today was a good day.

Okay, I got just a smidgen sun burnt. And a few other things went a wee-little-bit astray from the “way” I had planned. Sort of …. a lot…. here and there….. from the “direction I had mapped out.”

But there in lies the problem….

NEVER…. ever… EVER…. EVER…. using the phrase….

“The WAY I had planned”
or….
“My Intended Scheme of Things”
or even….
“The Road to Tipperary.”

We humans…. often get preconceived notions in our heads… out “how” things are “supposed” to go. OR predetermined ideas about “how” people will act. And so on. But when it comes down to it… truly …. we know nothing for certain about the future.

Well…. except that it will happen.
And that, in fact, isn’t a sure thing either.

Really, all we can do….. is to take whatever this moment is, and be in it. That is where we live. Our bodies, our spirits, our spinning little atoms… are right here in this exect minute.

If we could just keep our thoughts here.

And when I say all that…. I truly mean….”If I could.” Yep. How about me?

If I could just keep MY thoughts here… and not projecting to and fro…. bouncing from this future-non-existent-moment to that future-non-existent moment.

So here is a better story of the day.
This morning I took a walk on the beach. The wet sand reminded my feet of the gravity at work here. The air was warm, and the ocean water smelled clean. A breeze lifted itself…. from the surface of the lashing waves.

I saw a beautiful bird standing on the beach with me. We both looked out at the ocean and then back at one another. That moment was a miracle. Yet….. another moment. Yet, another miracle.

“Everyone has a plan ’till they get punched in the mouth.” – Mike Tyson

 “We can’t plan life. All we can do is be available for it.”  Lauryn Hill

Today I was introduced to the Mimi Fish. Now…. I am not quite sure what the fish are really called. But I have deemed them The Mimi Fish.

I am pretty sure if these fish could speak, the would be Screaming Mimi’s.

You see, I wasn’t diving… or even snorkeling… when I met them. I was eating lunch on the dock… at a place called Mimi’s. Hence the name for the fish.

And let me tell you this much about these fish. They hang out in the water right by the dock. And boy oh boy do they love to eat. Mimi-Fish will gobble down anything and everything…… just like a wild school of snapping piranha. Anything..

The people who work there encourage us-vacationers to feed the fish. They hand you your leftover plate and fork… and head you toward the Screaming Mimi’s.

From my plate……, the Mimi Fish devoured leftover hamburger, pickle, salad, bread, fruit and french fries. Without blinking.

I am pretty sure hamburgers and french fries are not in the fishes’ natural dietary needs…. and probably not the best thing for them to eat. But I guess the same is true for humans, and we consume a lot of hamburgers and french fries per year.

But those little Mimi’s seemed to love their lunch more than I did. So what the heck. Let’s all just be in this little pond together. Pass the ketchup please.

“We all have to live together, so we might as well live together happily.” – Dalai Lama