I successfully used a Coupon today.  This is big dang news. You see, I am not a Coupon User.

Now, I think the Coupon is a wild and wonderful thing, in fact.  They are amazingly great…. as you can save dimes, quarters, dollars, and such.  Yep.  I have heard of people saving hundreds of dollars with coupons.

But alas.  You could even say… Woe Is Me… when it comes to coupons.  I just don’t have the right kind of brain for it.  The deal with the Polly-Head is this.  IF I see a coupon that might be relevant to my shopping needs, I think…. Oh, that would be handy to use the next time I buy the Big-Kahuna-Bag of Fried Cheeto Snacks.  But then, the trouble begins.  By the time I make it to the drawer… where I keep the scissors… to clip the coupon… I have been side-tracked by filling the water bowls for the dogs, getting a nail and hammer, to hang that picture of Van Gogh….once and for all….  and finally, stopping by the refrigerator to see if we have plenty of chicken eggs on hand.

Eventually … I find myself at the scissor drawer, and I have absolutely NO idea why I stand before the drawer… in reverence and awe.  But… let’s say I do come up with the memory of a coupon, and I actually make it BACK to the source of the coupon.    WITH the scissors. And then I CLIP the SAID coupon.

The next battle begins.  Making the decision where to put the coupon….. so that I will be sure to use it the next time I go to buy Colossal Cheetos.  Hey.  How about in my PURSE! Brilliant.

Another challenge, and adventure begins at this point.  Getting the coupon to my purse without becoming distracted by stopping and checking the thermostat, taking the recyclables out to the garage, and seeing that the shelves in the entryway need to be dusted.  Perhaps….. you are seeing a pattern, I might guess.

But, if the coupon does get to my purse, the chances that I will have any recollection of the existence of this piece of golden paper…. as I stand in line at the grocery…. while I am snacking on a Big-Bertha-Bag of Cheetos while I wait in line…. IS SLIM to none.

You see, I am munching prematurely to get my strength up for the bagging process.  I love to bag groceries.  It fulfills my High-Spacial-Awareness IQ.

At any rate….I get distracted… because the waiting is getting to me.  It has been the slooooowwwww line because the lady in front of me is one of those Coupon Clippers, with the huge flipping wallet of coupons… and she is holding things up… …  with all these coupons.  That should probably mean something to me…..  but alas…..

A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore. –Yogi Berra

Never spend your money before you have it. –Thomas Jefferson

Wealth is the ability to fully experience life. –Henry David Thoreau