As I have promised, no more stories about chickens for quite some time. Tonight, I want to tell a story about deep dark despair, panic, trauma, and misfortune.

Albeit, there might a chicken or two involved.

So a brief recap. We have Orpington Chickens, and New Hampshire Chickens. The Orps and the Hamps. They are separated in their chicken coop and run, by fencing. You see, the Orps are older and they are fifteen in number (Which include 9 Roosters, 6 Hens). The Hamps, just juveniles, only four by head headcount (all little girls).

I have to transport the Hamps in a plastic tub from their sleeping quarters, to their “run area” and back again…. each day. I can assure you, it is no small task to catch chickens, and enclose them in a plastic tub. But so it goes.

Eventually, they will have to be introduced into the same space, and hopefully, they will get along like champions. They say it takes 6 to 8 week of this side-by-side-ness to get acclimated. Mary thought we should give this WWWWWAY LESS time, and try it after a few days, or even a week. “My Orpingtons are sweet chickens….” she said.  That’s what she said.

So. This morning, as I dreaded catching and tubbing chickens… I decided to give this a GO. I let the Orps out into the main yard. Then I let the Hamps out of their “coop area”….. to meander into the main yard. Hopefully unnoticed.

This I can tell you my friends. It got ugly. FAST. Chickens NOTICE things. Like Foreign Chickens.

Yes, at 6:45 this morning, I had an ANGRY MOB of 15 Horrible and Ruthless Orpington Chickens, chasing down 4 little, Sweet-As-Can-Be New Hampshire’s.

Let me continue. The main yard is much bigger than any other area. AND. The larger the space… the HARDER it is to catch a small chicken, especially when it is being mobbed and pecked by chickens twice it size. Imagine this times four. In a yard filled with a muddy, wet, grassy surface, and chicken poop. Much to my dismay, I spent the next 40 minutes or so, diving, rolling, swatting, grabbing, for any feathered beast I could get my hands on.

I speak to you now, from the bottom of my heart….  .. ….. THIS was NOT my finest moment in life. My vocabulary, however, was quite stunning.

Eventually, I caught the chicks. Eloise suffered the most damage. But they seemed to be doing okay today.

I will not be trying this again. Ever. We shall build another coop. We shall have two flocks. And Chicken Life will be good.  In a segregated way.

Tonight’s quote is lovely… but this guy clearly did not own chickens.

“My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.”
— Jack Layton