We’ve all lost something. Often times, it is something as simple as your car keys. You may want to check the refrigerator, right next to the Cheese Whiz Jar. OR….. following that same line of thought… maybe you’ve lost your entire car. Chances are you are just a little turned around in the parking garage. Third floor, not second.
I am not too crazy about losing things. I sort of live by that old phrase… “A place for everything, and everything in its place.” That’s how I grew up. And it stuck.
But the truth of it is…. most of the time… things aren’t truly lost. They are merely misplaced.
So, when you are freaking out, up and down, because you can’t find the remote control for the TV… and Dancing with the Stars starts in five minutes…. it might be best to just take a deep breath, relax, and try to remember what was going on the last time you were watching TV…. you know…… all those reruns of Hee Haw.
Alright… segue here. I am not going to fault you for watching Hee Haw, or for eating Cheese Whiz right out of the jar. I have my guilty pleasures too. Okay, back to it.
Losing things. And finding them. They are simply misplaced.
But sometimes, we experience a loss which is much more significant than the cap for the toothpaste tube.
We lose a person.
Yes. We lose someone very near, and very dear to us. What then?
Losing someone or something you love is undoubtedly….. very painful. We might experience all kinds of difficult emotions. There are times when it may feel like the pain and sadness will never ease off.
This happens to all of us. We might be depressed, angry, afraid, or even in a state of denial, or guilt. These are normal reactions to a significant loss. And of course, we are all different. There are no right or wrong ways to grieve. But…. There are a ton of “coping” mechanisms out there for us to explore. I won’t go in to all of that here. That is better left for the one’s with training and degrees on the walls.
But I will ask this. Like our keys, or the remote control… are the people we lose… really lost? OR are they just misplaced from our ability as humans to perceive them?
I know, they are gone from our lives, as we know it. They have physically passed. We can’t hold them, or kiss them, or scruff up the hair on the tops of their heads. In that way they are gone.
But possibly, they are with us, in different ways. Their energy, their spirit, their legacy, and all the gifts they gave to us during life. Maybe not physical gifts, but emotional and spiritual gifts. In all sorts of directions. Love. Kindness. Compassion. Companionship. Faith in Goodness. Hope.
Maybe to find them, we just have to take a deep breath, relax, and start remembering, and looking in the places where it never occurred to us to look.
No, you probably won’t find your sister Mimi in the fridge, next to the Cheese Whiz Jar… unless of course… she is still alive… like my sister Mimi…. and she has this total “thing” for Cheese Whiz by the tablespoon. In that case… keep an eye on the Ritz Crackers too. And the bacon.
But. Loss can deal us a tremendous blow. It can knock us off our feet, our game, and even off of our lives. My guess is… if we feel so much pain and sadness about our loss, that person must have been pretty incredible.
And I bet that incredible person would want us to live in the light, and not the dark. That person probably taught us a lot about the true essence of life…. and we could honor them… by living it well. That is what I am guessing.
Live it well.