Commercials.  I’ve been thinking about them quite a bit lately.  You know… you can’t live with ’em… and you sure could do without ’em.

There are so many different kinds… but the ones I get preoccupied with are the prescription drug commercials.  You know the deal.  The introduction is mostly always the same.  It is a beautiful scene,…   a fall day… and the sun is shining…. the leaves are drifting through the air.  Everyone is having a great time, laughing and frolicking around… except for ONE.  That one person is standing there.  Distraught.  In pain.  Disconnected.  Preoccupied.  And that one person is YOU, consumer.

And you know the drill.  Then comes the question… from the guy with the silky voice.  “Do you suffer from chronic itchy earlobes?”  Then Platooba may be right for you!

Of course… the next line… is literally the killer.

In some cases, Platooba may cause certain side effects.

OH GAWD… NOT the SIDE EFFECTS.

It follows…

The most common side effects noted with Platooba are nausea, dry mouth, constipation, diarrhea, fatigue, difficulty sleeping, and dizziness. Some patients may experience  things like their faces falling off, loss of their favorite tricycles… and an inexplicable hunger for liverwurst.

Tell your doctor right away if any of these serious side effects occur: confusion, bleeding, decreased interest in Captain America, muscle cramps/weakness, difficulty peeing anywhere, persistent nagging, vomiting, yellowing eyes, dark urine.  Or humungous  Bovine calves in your living room.

So at this point… I am wondering if it will ever end?  Oh, not yet.

Get medical help right away if any of these rare but serious side effects occur: black/bloody stools, vomit that looks like coffee grounds, seizure.  Horns growing from your head.

Get medical attention if you have hallucinations, loss of coordination, swelling of the tongue and throat, skin melting, toenails popping off your feet, smelly armpits  or spontaneous combustion.

In rare cases, death may occur.

OKAY.  At this point, I don’t know about YOU all, but I am planning on living with the itchy earlobes.  Holy smackerolies.  Who wouldn’t?  Apparently, millions and millions of American would not.    In fact, the Pharmaceutical Industry spends about $3 Billion per year on advertising.

And people listen.

Nearly 70 percent of Americans are on at least one prescription drug, and more than half take two.  That is according to the Mayo Clinic researchers.

I just know for me personally, I would rather scratch my ears than I would vomit coffee grounds.  Any day of the week.  And I don’t have to PAY to have itchy earlobes.  But I do have to fork over big dollars for the little pill that makes my tongue swell up like a balloon, and makes it very difficult to pee.

So what’s my point?  Well.  I am a big fan of scientific proof and results.  However, I think the Pharmaceutical Industry has gotten blown way out of shape.  The likes of which we will never recover from.  I mean, just the absurdity of the commercials ought to tell us something…. no matter how much Cymbalta, Lipitor, or Abilify we are on.

And to offer full disclosure, I am one of the 7 in 10 Americans on a prescription drug. I don’t know what the answer is… but for me personally… I couldn’t stand those itchy earlobes any longer.  The paranoia took over and I thought everyone was talking about me… hence… the itchy ears.

So it was either take the Platooba for the ears…. or Trekookix for the paranoia.

Rock and a hard place I’ll tell you.  Rock and a hard place.