Oh the Conspiracy Theories abound.
We have noises from outer space, and sightings of weird creatures in the woods. UFOs. Ghosts and other-worldly entities.
(Personally, I don’t discount the any-of-it. Who am I to say they aren’t true? There does not seem to be a lot of proof, either way.)
But back to it. This is an area of life which is mysterious, and evasive. It can be perplexing, intriguing, and sometimes downright creepy. There are simply times when things occur in life which are bizarre, and uncanny.
Some people explain them away, as coincidences, or mistakes.
Yet.
Now. I DO have a personal experience to share with you. Yes, one phenomenon which happens on a regular basis. It sends shivers down my spine and makes the little hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.
I call her…. “The Lady in the Grocery.” She changes form… like a shape-shifter… from one time to the next. But she is the same. Let me explain. Most every time I visit a grocery or mega-mart… there she is… in the parking lot… tooling around in one of two vehicles. A very old and dented Pinto….. or some over-sized sparkly Cadillac. She nearly side-swipes me before taking up three spots in the parking lot.
But it doesn’t end there. Next, we bump into one another at the entrance. And then she body-blocks me as she ambles to retrieve a cart. This takes several minutes.
As I go to get a head of cauliflower in produce, there she is again. Blocking the entire fresh-produce area, as she determines which bag of carrots might be the best for her….. baby or with the peels.
Snack Aisle. All I want is a box of Saltines. Everybody knows Polly wants a Cracker. Oh BUT NO. There she is… her fists clinched tightly around two bags of Goldfish… will it be Cheddar or Pizza flavored this week?
Deli. Please… just some sliced ham. Again, she has beat me there. How this happens I do not know. I walk faster than the wind… and she seems to prattle along at a snail’s pace. But she is always one step ahead of me. (I know. It creeps me out too.)
Back at the deli counter…. she is getting 12 very small containers…. one each of everything… from Fruity-Marshmallow-Jello Surprise…. to Drowning-In-Mayonnaise Broccoli Salad.
Checkout. Two aisles open. The first has 23 people in line. The second row… just the Lady in the Grocery stands there. After much deliberation, I begin unloading my cart on the belt behind her. By the time she is done, the other 23 people have left the store… are at home in their kitchens fixing dinner….. AND…. AND…. The Lady in the Grocery is still fumbling through her purse for the 15 cents-off-coupon for Goldfish. “Lady…. I will give you a whole DOLLAR if you will JUST CHECK OUT!”
The next time I go to the grocery… she has slightly morphed into another being… with a different physical appearance… but she is back again… to haunt me.
I’ve captured her on film… at least 20 times. Every time I take the evidence to the Police… she has foiled me again. She has managed to appear as some sweet little old lady in the photo. And all I can do… is shake my head and say “Dag Nab It.”
Dag, dag, dag, dag nab it.
Unless I start growing my own… I need the Grocery.