As I readied myself for the day, the black blur shot across the mirror in front of me.  Then… the very hairy large fly began to make several swift, and dangerous passes at my head.  They were Kamikaze-like.  Yet.  He had no intention of bombarding me.  He was merely taunting me.

I proceeded to apply the last little bit of my favorite hair-jelly to my scalp.  Again, and again the insect grazed my hands and ears.  Enough was enough.  I reached for the fly swatter and laid it conspicuously on the counter in front of me.  It had to happen.  You see…. IT was me.. or the fly.

With comb in hand… I looked down.  And there he sat.  Right in the middle of that swatter…. knowing well enough that I could not operate that swatter without alerting him. Yes… he sat there… smugly.   All 12,000 eye-facets staring up.  NOW…. he was mocking me.

And so it goes.

You thought the Apple Corporation came up with some great ideas.  The iPhone, the iPad, the iCloud.

Well they have nothing on me.  In the summer time… I have with me… all the time…. the iItch.  Unlike any other… THIS app allows me to be an itchy-mess from morning to night.

Oy yes… it is true.  If there is a bug with a biter on it’s little head… it will find a way to bite me.  Spiders, ants, mosquitos, UFOs (Unidentified Flies and Others).  They sniff me out and hunt me down.

My blood must be  something along the lines of Folklore-ish proportions among the insect world.  It must be some right of passage for them.  They come from miles around just to feast on me.  My body resembles a connect-the-dots game.  But redder.

Sometimes it even happens by mistake.  The other day I jumped in the pool after doing a lot of work outdoors.  After the swim, I threw a shirt on, and came back in the house.  Suddenly, my shoulder started hurting in a strange and significant fashion.  I flipped my shirt back off, and there was a very confused bee… in search of pollen on that bright yellow shirt… only to find my shoulder.  Put a stinger in it… goodness.

Yes… that is the deal for me in the spring and summer… and into the fall.  But I do not complain.  I would rather it be hot, muggy, and buggy, than to be back in the midst of the frozen Ohio Tundra of last year.  So bring it on bugs.  Bite Me!

“When people bother you in any way, it is because their souls are trying to get your divine attention and your blessing”  – Catherine Ponder