Here’s the thing.  Some people get the short end of the stick.    Some of us are good cooks, others… not so much.  Whatever the deal… our talents sure do vary.  There are good and bad at everything….. painters,  athletes, writers, singers, doctors, mathematicians….. and even fathers.

Yep.  Today was Father’s Day. And it is true.   Some of us have really good Dads.  Others…. are born with pretty crappy Fathers.

I feel very blessed that I lucked out in this department.  My Dad was pretty amazing… in a whole lot of ways.  I could go on and on about him… how smart, and sweet, and helpful he was.  How loving and caring… and totally present… in all his kids’ lives.

He totally rocked… WAY before people did things like “Totally Rock.”

But one of his greatest qualities was his sense of humor.  My Mom says that is one of the big reasons she fell in love with Dad.  He had a cute way about him… and he had a pun for every occasion.

So… in honor of my Dear Dad… on Father’s Day… a small arsenal of puns.. on subjects he knew about.  So.  First my remembrance… and then the pun.

My Dad loved dogs.  He had a little dog named Petty when he was a kid. He told great stories about his time with his little pal.
A 3 legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces:  I am looking for the man who shot my Paw.

Dad would do fun things with us… like take us to the Zoo.
5000 hares have escaped from the zoo. The police are combing the area.

He loved poetry.  Dad used to recite entire poems by Edgar Allan Poe.  They were long.  It was impressive.
A backward poet writes inverse.

Dad was a stickler for things being clean and neat.
A bacteria walked into a bar and the bartender said, ‘We don’t serve bacteria in this place.’ The bacteria said, ‘But I work here, I’m staph.

He rode a bike.  Right up until the time he got sick.
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.

I don’t think Dad was color blind… but sometimes he acted like it.
A boating accident between the yacht, Red Dawn, and the schooner, Blue Lagoon, left the survivors marooned.

He loved to read.  And write.
A book just fell on my head. I’ve only got myshelf to blame.

He was skinny.
A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.

He fixed everything around the house.
A carpenter must have been here. I saw dust.

He was funny.  And awesome.
A clown decided to retire and hand over the business to his son. His son said, ‘I don’t know dad, those are big shoes to fill’.

I miss him.  Somebody…. send in the clowns.

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children…to leave the world a better place…to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”  –  Ralph Waldo Emerson