You can learn a great deal, on any given day, by listening and looking.   Here are a few things I considered today, in my flight of observations.

This morning, I overheard someone say, “I will have to look that up on my ‘Laptop Computer’ ”….

If you refer to your laptop… I suppose it doesn’t necessarily mean computer.  If you say… I’ll have to look that up on my laptop…..  I guess you could mean many other things.

Perhaps you would just be staring at the top your thighs, trying to find the answer to…. “When is Meryl Streep’s birthday?” or “MLB Standings” and such.

I tried it.  While I noticed that my moles have not changed, and that I missed a couple of spots on my knees when I shaved this morning, I did not find any other answers.

Conceivably…. there is a lesson there.

What if the “Answers” to life’s question are always there for us?  We just have to choose the right places to look.

So I found out Meryl was born on June 22, 1949… and that the Kansas City Royals are 12 games up in the American League Central.  They are one of my favorite teams, by the way.

But, the point is… the answers could not be found in the vein patterns on my legs.

Let’s think about something else.  Since we are thinking, let’s think on the brain.  Did you ever stop to consider that the brain named itself?  It’s true.  And everything else, for that matter.     The first brain really wanted to be named Brian… but wrote it down wrong.  The lesson?  We all make mistakes.  Sometimes, we simply have to live with them, or make the best of it.

And… how about this profound thought:   Do geese see God?
(You can read that phrase… all the way backward and forward….  Now… THAT has GOT to mean something.)   I am not sure what the lesson is… maybe that there are two ways of looking at everything, but in the end…. we might all be very much the same.

Finally.  You, me and everyone else we know is made up of around 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (7 octillion) atoms.  So… in that way… we are very much alike.  But with 7 octillion atoms in us… we are also…most certainly… very different.

And those are a few of the things I thought about today.  How about you?

Happiness can exist only in acceptance.
George Orwell

Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.
Albert Einstein

Follow Up.  It is… a continuation or repetition of something that has already been started or done.

Sometimes in life, the old follow-up is needed.  It is imperative.  Like, Police do Follow-Up Investigations, and such.

Well… one such device is needed tonight.

You see.  Last night, I was questioning The Magic.  I suggested the possibility that The Magic did not exist.

I’ve been a long time proponent of The Magic.  My whole life, in fact.  Yes, I have believed in the Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus.  The Troll under the bridge, the Little People, the Faeries in the Big Woods, Winnie the Pooh,  angels, and ghosts.  I have never discounted a possibility of the possible.  Or even the seemingly impossible.  I get the tingles up my spine, and hair will stand up on the back of my neck from time to time.  I look for the luckiest rock wherever I go.

But yesterday I doubted.

And, if you read yesterday’s installment of 30473…. you know we caught a little chipmunk in a live trap.  I made little Frank Morris feel at home.  I put a cardboard cover on the cage, and gave him a little bed of grass, sprinkled with some nuts and bird seed. I would enjoy those amenities if I were a Chipmunk in a Cage.

Last night, before I locked up the house, around midnight, I went out to check on little Frank Morris.  He was fine, it seemed.  It looked like he was holding something in his little paws behind his back though.  “Polly.  Stop it.  He’s a chipmunk for crying out loud.”  I banished the thought, wished him a good night, and headed in the house.

This morning, I woke at 5:30, as I do every morning.  Shortly thereafter, I went out to check on him.  His name truly is Frank Morris.   He was gone, girl.  Gone.

I have NO logical idea how he could have gotten out of that trap.  That cage.  It was locked up tight this morning.

And then it hit me.

The Magic.

It really is true.  So.

Good luck to you Frank Morris.  May The Magic Be With You.

And for the rest of it… all I have to say is…

If in your heart of hearts…. you know it is right …..  then it can’t be wrong.

Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe.
— Saint Augustine

Your big opportunity may be right where you are now.
— Napoleon Hill

We have chipmunks.  Fat chipmunks.   And a lot of them.

Some see this as a problem.  But not me.  I like them a lot.  I think they are as cute as can be.  I don’t care that they are tunneling everywhere around our Koi Pond and landscaping, and making big mounds of dirt.  No.  I do not see them as a problem, at all.  I see possibilities, and potential.

With the notion that these little fella’s are a problem.. SOMEONE has decided to “Live Trap” them.  Then, they are driven far, far, away from our home… deep into the woods, and released back into nature.

Some view this as a humane way of getting rid of our immediate chipmunk “problem.”  I think of it…. as a disrupted displacement of little chipmunk families.

I think it would be much better if I kept them, domesticated them, and began our training.

Yes.  You read it right. Training.

You see, I think they have much potential.  They are fast, and nimble, and very good at acrobatics.  So I want to start a little Chipmunk Circus.  A little traveling squad of “The Charming Chipmunk Champions.”

They will perform daring feats of acrobatic maneuvers.  Skillful jumps.  Fearless tumbles and rolls.  They will have teeny weeny trapezes and tightropes, and trampolines.

We will travel from city to city, with our little circus tents, and itsy-bitsy bleachers, and tiny ticket stands.  We will have little concession stands with small boxes of popcorn, and mini-hotdogs, and such.

Oh. It will be BIG.  Grand.  People will come from miles around to watch little chipmunks watching the little chipmunk circus.

I know.  It sounds like a great adventure.  Like a ton of fun.  BUT…..then……  It sounds too good to be true.  And then the reality sets in.  And the lights dim, and the tent collapses… and there really is no circus.

You see.  Sometimes, that is how life feels to me.  I want to believe in the magic.  The possibilities.   The great unknowns.   I do.  But the intellectual muscle starts to flex.  And the dream of it all… begins to fade away.

People believe in all sorts of different things.  From God, to Yahweh, to Allah.   From the Bible, to the Torah, to the Quran. Some believe in ghosts, spirits, and spirit guides.  Others believe in Angels, and miracle beings.  Still others believe in faeries, witches, and goblins.  Psychics and Spiritualists.

I can’t say for sure who is right.  Maybe all of them… maybe none.

And there…. is my daily beast.

I want to believe in the impossible.  But then… I think it is impossible.

Dang it.

I was almost done sewing the little chipmunk leotards.  And THAT… my friends…. might have been The Greatest Show on Earth.

Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!
— Audrey Hepburn
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It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.
— Agnes Repplier
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I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning.
— J. B. Priestley

Grief is a heck of a thing.  Now isn’t it?  We’ve all know it, in some degree along the way.

As Webster would put it, grief is deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone’s death.

Deep sorrow.  Yep, that’s a pretty good summation.  But I would call it the deepest, darkest pit in your stomach, when the wave of anguish rushes your brain, and fills your entire being with the abyss of hollow.

Today, I went to my cousins Memorial Service.  Judy.  She and my oldest sister are the same age.  Judy’s kids are about my age, and younger.

And those kids, her kids… were filled with grief.  I was very sad about Judy’s passing.  No doubt.  But her children.  Oh, the ache they were feeling.  I felt such empathy, and sympathy for them.

Going to these things are bittersweet, though.  I got to see a lot of my family, cousins, aunt, kids, and such, that I haven’t seen in a long time.  It felt good to see them.  My cousins John, and Stevie, to just name a couple.  They will always be family.  Always.

And seeing them, brought back a lot of childhood memories.  Good memories.  From the long, long ago, and far away.

It was a swirling and tangled spectrum of emotions in just a couple of hours.  I felt tired afterward.  I can only imagine how her kids were feeling in all of that.

At one point, I glanced up to the screen where the “movie of memories” was playing.  And there was my Dad…. as a young man… smiling.  Standing with his sister and holding Baby Judy.  And it felt like time was bending backward and forward, and doing little pirouettes and twists in between.  And then that pang of grief hit me.

I can only say, that loss is an inevitable part of life.  Unfortunately. But…. grief is a natural part of the healing process.  As such, those feelings of loss are very personal, and only we know what is significant to each one of us.

As life shows us time and again, this is now.  And now is really all we have.  How we live in each moment is our journey to behold.  Both the good and the bad.

I am terrible with face recognition.  Which is totally not the point of my story tonight.  But… it is mildly connected, so I’ll go on.

I can only think of one reason why I can’t remember faces.   I have a pretty dang snappy memory, after all.  I would say, my “recall ability” is better than the average bear.  Not to brag on my bear abilities… but I do have the old steel trap on my head.

Anyway, my face recognition is terrible.  Especially out of context.  I will see someone at the grocery, they will call me by name, smile, wave… and I….  well….. I raise my hand in a joyful salutation. But truth be told, most of the time, I have absolutely no clue who stands before me.

Here is my excuse, and I am sticking with it:

I have never cared much about people’s physical appearances.  In fact, not much at all. I just don’t notice.

We will be out with friends, and everyone will all of a sudden say… “Oh my goodness.  Did you get a load of THAT?”  And everyone nods, and rolls eyes, or chuckles.  And I sit there, usually asking… “Get a load of what?”

I just don’t notice what people wear, or haircuts, or even if they have cyclops eyes.
Nope.

So.  On to my story.  Finally. Often times… I will be out and about… and someone will come up and pat me on the back and say…. “Hey, how are them-there chickens?” and then they laugh and laugh.  I stand there thinking… “How does this person know I have chickens?” Or they will drive by and yell out the window… “Chased any good chickens lately?”

I know they are probably referring to this daily writing.  But dang. I don’t know who they are. And then I wonder.

I can only say that Karma is a heck of a thing.  I was asking for this a LONG time ago.  As it happens…. I still have that old City Girl Blood pumping in my veins.  So.  Way back… when the whole “Milk” campaign came out with their catchy new slogan, I would use it.

You see… I’d be driving along a country road, and see a field of cows.  No matter wind or rain, I would roll down my window and yell out at those cows… “HEY!  GOT MILK?”    And I would laugh and laugh.  Those cows would turn around, look my way.. .. and have these expressions on their faces…. like… “Do we know who the heck that woman is?”

Well.  NOW I know how they feel.  Every time a drive-by chicken remark comes my way.   And it comes full circle.

Like a monkey in a zoo, I am.
A monkey in a zoo.

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Knock on the sky and listen to the sound. ~Zen Saying
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Begin at the beginning… and go on till you come to the end: then stop. ~Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

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It’s always Now. ~Eckhart Tolle

I am a Geek. We have established that.  At least, for a woman my age, I know a fair amount concerning the world of technology.  Anyway, I am always trying new apps and devices and such.

Writing apps.  A lot of different writing apps.
One that I am using at this very minute is called DayOne.  It is a journaling software.  If you journal everyday, I recommend it.  I don’t journal.  BUT.  I write this thing daily, and I like the way it looks, types, and saves.  Anyway.  On to the point.

Every time you open it, it gives you a fresh new piece of paper, with the date nicely assigned at the top.  As a bonus, it gives you something to write about, if you need the help.  I never use these, but if someone is journaling, I can see the benefit.

Tonight, when I opened the app…. it asked:  “When and where did you take your first steps alone?”

Well.  Now if THAT isn’t a question begging for an answer?

So.  I’ll begin.

It was a dark and rainy night.  Pitch dark.  The wind was howling, and the old shutters on the house made thumping noises, as they fought the wind, making every attempt to stay connected to their house.

The rain pounded the panes of rippling glass on the windows.  Thunder rumbled in the distance.  It was unseasonably cool for early April.  In fact, it was just above freezing.

Inside a fire roared.  The family who lived inside that house, stayed close to the light of the fireplace.  They were popping corn over the hearth.  The room filled with the warm aroma.

As the kernels slowed to a halt, the Mother asked, “Did someone get the bowls?”  Ann & Sue got up at once to retrieve them.  One of the boys said, “Are we allowed to have a Coke?”  The Father nodded.  You can split one between each two of you.  Ed, Jerry, and Jane proceeded to the kitchen to prepare the drinks.  “We’re going to need salt,” Julie added.  “Why don’t you get it?” asked the Father.  And off she went.

As Julie passed through the doorway, there was a large crash in the kitchen.  And then another.  Both the Mother and the Father leapt from their chairs to investigate.  And… there I sat.  All alone.  On the floor.  In front of the open fireplace.

Now, most people do not remember their 11 month of life.  I see it clear as crystal.  I placed one hand on the cushion of my Father’s chair, and hoisted my wobbly legs into standing position.

Slowly.  Ever so slowly.  I lifted my hand from that recliner…. one little finger at a time.  I raised both hands above my head, as it just felt like the right thing to do… in preparation for the daring endeavor I was about to attempt.  And then.  THEN.  My right foot extended.  Followed by my left.  My right. My left.  And there I was…. taking my first steps alone.

As the other’s clamored back into the room, I dropped my diaper butt right down on the floor, and sat wide-eyed.  They were oblivious to the magic that had recently transpired.  I sat momentarily, and then I couldn’t help it.  A smile crossed my face… filled with an air of smug accomplishment.  I was 11 months old… and I rocked.

Those…. were my first steps alone.

And that my friends, is the story of how EVERY journey begins.  With the taking of one, single, little, step.

(Now, if you tune in tomorrow night, I will tell you about the first time I got the whole potty-training deal down-pat.   It will keep you on the edge of your seat.)

The party never ends here.  I just never ends.

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The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.  —  Lao Tzu
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The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.  —  Nathaniel Branden
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Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home.  —  Matsuo Basho

I have never twerked.

I don’t plan on it either.  Ever.

In fact, I am pretty sure my knees hurt too much, most of the time, to do any such thing.

These might be signs I am getting older.

When it comes down to it, I don’t know most of the celebrities on TV any more.  We will be watching an interview of some young, beautiful person.  I will ask Mary, “Who is that?”  She normally responds, “I have no idea.”  To which I say…”What show are they on?”  And she…”I have no idea.”  There was a time when I knew who all of them were.

If it isn’t Scott Pelley on the evening news, or Alex Trebek on Jeopardy, we are pretty much clueless.

I say things now, like… “When I was growing up….”  or “When we were kids…”

Oh.  Back in the day.  Those good old days.  That’s my grandpa used to say.  And now, will you have a look at me?  Holy Crap.

Most of my friends are older than I am.  The other day, one of them told me they recently “Got Lucky”…. and as it turns out… they had just been able to find their car in a parking lot.

One good thing about having older friends… is telling them secrets. Most of them can’t remember what you’ve said anyway.

The wild and crazy days are over, I’m afraid.  I’m not sad about it.  On the contrary, I’m slightly relieved.

You see, I used to be a party animal.  But these days… I consider pulling an “All-Nighter” to be…. not getting up…. even once…. during the night to go pee.  I haven’t had an all-nighter in a long dang time.

Yet… There are some uptakes about getting old.  Like.  In a hostage situation, I’ll be one of the first ones released.

I like getting older, truth be told.  It beats the alternative.  But besides that, it seems like I have learned more in the past 10 years, than I’ve learned in all the years before that.  Maybe I am paying more attention.

One thing for certain about me know, in my current age… I slow down.  Sometimes, I  even stay very, very, still.  And I listen.   And look.  Sometimes, I hear, and see, and I am astounded by the clarity which life has afforded me at that moment.  I feel like a worthy part of the Universe.

Other times, it all seems muddled.  And I can’t see the forest for the trees.  Or the plain nose on my face.  In these cases… I am pretty sure I’ve just misplaced my glasses, only to find them 15 minutes later… on the top of my head.

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You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.  —  George Burns
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 Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.  —  Groucho Marx

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I like to take a walk.  I do it frequently.  It tends to clear the mind and lighten the soul.

Apparently, a lot of others like to walk too.  There have been a kajillion songs about it, at least.

I walk the line. (Johnny Cash)
These boots work made for walking. (Nancy Sinatra)
Walk like an Egyptian. (Bangles)
Walking on Sunshine. (Rockers Revenge)
Walk on the Wild Side. (Lou Reed)

Oh… there are a whole-big-bunch more, I’ll tell you.

But back to the actual walk.
It simply feels good, sometimes.  To go off  and find a place of solitude.  To hear nothing but your footsteps.  Or to walk so softly that you don’t even hear them.

To breathe in deep and take in the world.  The world we get to visit for a time.  We are fortunate to walk on its surface.

This type of relaxing walk doesn’t necessarily work if you are in the middle of New York City, and you are stepping over people and dodging  treacherous taxi cab drivers.  The sound of traffic, and horns, and blaring music.  The heat seeping upward from the pavement.  The smell of exhaust and fumes and smog.

Nope.  That kind of walk wouldn’t work… UNLESS… your walk’s intention was to get the best slice of pizza ever.  THEN… it would be beneficial.

But.  If it is low down and easy you are in search of … a walk in the quiet solitude of earth’s gentle hold fits just right.   Every time.

Putting one foot in front of the other.  Beginning.  And before you know it, you are on your journey.  To nowhere.  To everywhere.

He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying.  —  Friedrich Nietzsche

The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone.  —  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks.  —  John Muir

Fear.

I wish I had less of it.    Way less.   But alas, I have it.  In bucket loads, sometimes.

That whole campaign on “No Fear” sort of cracks me up.

You see.  We are humans.  Like it or not, fear is a part of being human.  It is a vital response  we have…. to physical and / or emotional danger.  If we didn’t feel fear at all, we would not be able to protect ourselves from valid dangers and threats.   So the whole “No Fear” thing is a bit absurd, really.  But people feel a whole level of cool when they have the stickers on their cars and such.  And it is okay to feel cool.

But let’s go back.  When I was a kid, I feared things like Vincent Price movies and roller coasters.  Heights.  The Wicked Witch of the West.  Pitch Black.  Spiders and snakes.  And. Certain people I knew.

Today… none of those things scare me at all…. ….  except the latter.  In fact, I seem to be slightly more daring than I ever have before.  There was a time when I wouldn’t have zip-lined, or taken a helicopter tour of volcanoes, or even swam into waters to see any kind of shark.  But I’ve done all of those things recently.

Yet. A whole bunch of other things put fear in me these days.

Mostly, the “Not Knowing.”  Although, that’s part of being human too.  We don’t know.  We can’t know.   The very next minute might bring anything.  Anything at all.

The top ten fears in the United States…. according to a recent gallop poll…. (in order):  terrorist attacks, spiders, death, being a failure, war, criminal or gang violence, being alone, the future unknown, and nuclear war.  Some more top “fear of” things, are….. flying, heights, surgery, clowns, intimacy, death, rejection, people, snakes, failure, and driving.

I would lump most of those above fears into one category.  The future unknown.

At any rate, I know we can’t know, but I wish I could know.  Or maybe I don’t want to know.  Who knows.

Say that three times fast.

Of course… there are the little things which sort of scare me.
• Donald Trump and his hair.
• If marijuana becomes legal… what will happen to all the dogs trained to sniff it out at airports, and schools and such?  I hope they will be able to find jobs elsewhere.
• I have never met anyone who has slipped on a banana peel.  I just know it is simply a matter of time until it happens to some clown out there.
• I might be an evil twin, and I just don’t know it.  We could have been separated at birth, and my good twin is out there somewhere.
• What happened to all the Cabbage-Patch-Parents?  It must have been bad.
• When cows get really old, do they automatically give spoiled milk?

Enough about my worries.
I’m actually happy a good deal of the time.  There is a lot to be happy about in this life of ours.  We have what we have right now, and that is enough.  I’m grateful and glad for that.  And.  I am especially happy that I’ve never slipped on a banana peel.  Even if I am an Evil Twin.

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope.  ~Arab Proverb

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There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them.  ~Andre Gide

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Fear is the highest fence. ~Dudley Nichols

Sometimes, I wonder.

About a lot.

• For one…. what in the world do rats smell like?  I only ask… because I heard someone say… “I think I smell a rat.”

Now I have never had the opportunity to get my nose up nice and close to a rat, and have a good whiff.  Hence, I do not know what they smell like.  So when someone exclaims that they think they smell one… well… it makes me wonder about the company I am keeping.

• Next.  Are crannies happy?  They don’t really seem to be okay on their own.  They always have to hang out with the nook.  In fact, nooks don’t much occur by themselves either.

I don’t think I’ve ever heard any one say… “Well.  Will you take a good look at THAT cranny?”   OR.  “Hey.  Have you seen any good nooks lately?”

Nope.  It is always a nook and cranny that whittle their way into English Muffin sentences.

• Alright.  How about this one.  Who is the dog food taster?  I often wonder this when I see the claim that a certain Dog Food has “New and Improved Taste.”  Or worse yet… Cat Food.

I think I would rather be a potato chip or pretzel taster.

• What about this.  Is the Boogie Man a really good dancer?  Seems like he ought to be.

• Whatever happened to Bozo and Howdy Doody?  Why did they fall to the wayside.  I mean, sure.  The one guy was a real clown and the other one was a big dummy…. but just WHERE is the love?

• Speaking of the changing ways of the world.  I wonder when Bert and Ernie are going to get married.  AND… I wonder if any of the Teletubbies will really… finally…. come out?

• Not that we were talking about fruits… but my thoughts just happened to segue this way.  It is said that tomatoes are a fruit.  And yes.  They really are.  But here is the thing… does that make Ketchup the first Fruit Smoothie ever?

• I think Animal Crackers are kind of cool… all shaped like little animals in such… and they come in a Circus Box.  I wonder why Chicken Nuggets aren’t shaped like little chickens, and come in a Coop Box?

•  Things I don’t wonder.  I just know.  They will never find Jimmy Hoffa.  Hillary Clinton will never be a U.S. President.  The Big Mac will make a comeback.  And. Faerie dust is real.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again.  —  Joseph Campbell
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To succeed, you need to find something to hold on to, something to motivate you, something to inspire you.  —   Tony Dorsett