Oh… what about these questions.

If the goldfish dies… and the parent runs out to the pet shop to get a replacement… and the kid is none-the-wiser.  Did the goldfish really die?  To the parent?  What about to the kid?
Which one is true?

Have you ever said out loud… “We are out in the middle of nowhere!”  I wonder where that is, EXACTLY.  And how can we be so sure that we are directly in the middle…  of this nowhere?

Do you ever get a quiver, a tingle or a shiver.  That little feeling that brushes up against you, and you were sure someone was standing right there.  Or catch a glimpse from the corner of your.  Maybe sometimes, the hair on the back of your neck pringles up a little bit.

Or the world just feels a bit jabberwocky all of a sudden.  Everything goes a little sideways.

It is times like these that make me wonder.
I wonder what is beyond, and before.  Where time goes exactly, and how energy flows from one thing to the next?

How can a smile transcend the plane of physical space?
How can a feeling…. be felt?  This transference of feelings and emotions across the physical plane?  Is it not energy?

What we know may be what we do not know at all.

It is just taking one step forward, and two steps back?  And looking.

Are we ever really alone?

“Two possibilities exist: Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.”  – Arthur C. Clarke

Our dog Frances is really afraid of storms.  Ollie is too.  I wonder why some dogs are afraid of the big storms, and others go completely unfazed.   I guess that is true of humans too.

But it worries her.  That is for sure.  It makes that fierce, strong dog… stand and quiver.

I used to be deathly afraid of storms.  Now, I sort of like them.  I do.  Not the kind where they have the potential of becoming severe.  THAT exposes the shear power of nature…. right before our little eyes.

The power of nature is apparent every day though.  If we look.  That power takes shape in many different ways.  It manifests itself through life and death… of animals and plants.  It stirs in the wind, and beats down with the hot sun.  Or suspends the world in frigid cold.

We certainly always take notice of the lightning strikes, the big winds, and the events which take the form of severity.  But there is just as much power in the calm of nature.  It connects us to something much deeper.

I am… just now in my life… learning this.

I had felt it, at times before, mostly in magnificence and awe.  Like walking through a Redwood Forest, or seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time… or finding stunning waterfalls… or viewing expanse of the ocean.  Those feelings were brief and fleeting though.

But that same exact power can be felt by laying your body down against the earth… or giving a morning salutation to the rising of the sun.  It can be found by sitting with the quiet stillness of rocks.  Or listening to the sweet music of the Spring’s breeze.

We are in this place.  And it is in us.  But our being and all those beings around us… have a deepest self.  It lies within us…. at the level of an invisible essence.  Our heart.  Our spirit.  Our soul.   I think it is indestructible.  Our true nature.

I am not sure we can ever truly know it with our minds. I keep trying  to understand it…. unsuccessfully.  I think we only know it when we aren’t thinking at all.  We come to know it when our minds are still.  Still in our world, and still with nature.   It happens when we TRULY find the present…. when we are COMPLETELY in the NOW.

And here we are.  Standing with the lightning and the thunder.  Feeling, and noticing that power… which simply flows from one place to the next…

Listen to roar.  Listen to the quiet.  And listen to the within.

You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul.  —  Swami Vivekananda

Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one’s weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.  —  Mahatma Gandhi

Let your soul stand cool and composed before a million universes. —  Walt Whitman

.

We can’t possibly know what another person is feeling… exactly.  We just can’t.  We may try…  and try very well… especially if we have had a similar experience, or come from a similar existence.

It is called…..Empathy.  Empathy. And to describe it?  Well… here it is.  As the old dictionary puts words to it…. Empathy means to be capable of identifying and understanding another person’s feelings, without experiencing them for yourself at that particular moment.  You know how the old saying goes… Walking a mile in someone else’s shoes.

As I eluded to above…. here is the deal.  Surprisingly, the ability to empathize with others …. is very reliant on our OWN capacity to identify and understand OUR OWN feelings.  And, if we can do this….. we are able to project OUR feelings onto others. (And we’re walking….)

But wouldn’t you know.  Unless you have been through the things that person has BEEN through, it becomes complicated, even difficult…. to understand what the other person is  undergoing.  If we haven’t had similar feelings or experiences… we just don’t normally get it.

A lot of other things come into play…  but it is hard.  Like, I don’t know what it is like to be homeless.  I don’t know what it is like to be a dark-skinned person.  Or to be handicapped.

But I think it is important to try.  It helps with Life Compassion.  We should, quite possibly, make it an intention to respond with “understanding” instead of anger.

Truth be told… here it is.  People are just trying to be happy, for the most part.  When we see and feel life from somebody else’s point of view, I think we can realize that other people are simply trying find happiness in their own lives… and in their own ways.

AND…. Most folks aren’t on some life mission to “get” us… or cause us to be miserable.   That guy in the polyester baseball cap, probably didn’t mean to pull out in front of you and then drive very slowly in a 50 mph zone.  Truly.

There is a Buddhist practice called “exchanging oneself for others” that is intended to cultivate compassion and empathy.  It is called “tonglen.”

What happens is… as we breathe in…. we bring into ourselves that which is difficult, problematic and upsetting from the other person.  We think about all the things we wish we could get rid of.

And then…. as we breathe out, we send them every good quality — openness, clarity, affection, peace — everything we would like to hold onto.

If done with true-ness, it can be very liberating.

So believe me when I tell you, I am breathing in, and breathing out.  I work very hard at this… until some numb-know does something that confounds me.

Then the Zen goes out the  window, and I have to put those shoes back on… and walk.  It is all… just a journey after all.  One little step at a time.

“We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer.”   —  ― Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers from Prison

Human emotions can really be something.  We have a whole caboodle of them, I’ll tell you.  Everything from happiness, surprise, anger, courage, pity, patience, and more.  And of course.. .there is always fear.

People are afraid of different things.  Some people seek out the emotion of fear.  We go on rides at amusement parks to scare us… or to haunted houses at Halloween…  perhps, even,  diving off bridges with bungee cords on our ankles.  Heck… watching scary movies.

I’ve had the opportunity to spend a bit of time with most of my siblings this past week. Some out-of-towners are IN.  This evening, we were talking about watching scary movies as kids… on Shock Theater.  It used to scare the hair right off our chinny-chin-chins.

And sometimes, the things which used to scare us… don’t scare us any more.  In my case, spiders, snakes, flying, heights, and a few others… are all fears of the past.  Same goes for those old movies on Shock Theater. Most are down right cheesy now.  Those frights are gone.

But there are certain circumstances which cause more fear than we like to know.  It typically happens, when something is wrong with someone we love or truly care about.  I had one of those things today.

This morning, as I was plotting out my most important day, and all the “important” things that had to be done… I was told that our oldest, and smallest dog, Maxine… had just ingested a large pink pellet of rat poison.

That sort of thing will certainly upend you.  I was  filled with fear.  In an instant.

As it turns out, she seems to be okay, for now.  We sought out medical help, and they did as much as they can do for such a thing.  When I was at the Vet’s Office with her… well… waiting while they worked…..  I started to breathe and tried to release my “want”  for control and predictability.  I had to let go of the fact that I am never, REALLY… the one who is calling the shots.  Control is impossible to get.  I mean….. even if you are a world class swimmer, it is still possible to drown.

And today, was a little rough, but I am now filled with other emotions, as things calmed down.

The biggest of those are gratitude and hope.

I can only think that my awareness of gratitude and hope have been elevated…. because of this early brush with fear.

I also think that most of the time, things happen for a reason.  And that reason is learning how to live life.  In this case, I was reminded that my “important” list of things today… became quite unimportant… without a moment’s notice.

It also reminded me that the Universe is working however it is working… without any consultation from me.

I am not sure it makes those “uncomfortable” times any easier, but at least I can try to learn from life’s lessons.

Today…. we are younger than we are ever going to be again.

Play.
Play.
Play.

Because on this day… this very moment…. we are younger than we are ever going to be.

Have joy in your heart.
Lightness in your soul.
Music in your being.

And Chocolate Eggs in your pocket.

 Youth has no age.  —  Pablo Picasso

I once knew this kid who would put her fingers in her mouth…the pinky and the pointer… and then she would whistle like crazy.  Loudly.  Cooly.  I was nine.  I wanted to whistle like this when I was nine years old … but as hard as I tried… nothing would come out by blustery air.

Now, I am several decades older.  And I still can’t whistle like this.

A lot of the things I have tried in life.. I can “get” pretty quickly.  This whistling thing is not.  Neither is snow skiing, sewing, or Advanced Calculus.  Making precise use of the differential notations in math leaves me….. well…. a bit indifferent.  Empty.  Feeling negative.  (Okay, all joking aside… back to it.)

On the other hand, there are things I can do with ease.  Bird Watching. Sweeping the kitchen floor.  Making Poached Eggs.  All very useful skills at times.  They are just not whistling, sewing, or Calculus.

Yes we all have different talents.  But we all have different aspirations too.

And sometimes, our own individual talents don’t quite match up with our talents.  For instance… have you ever seen the show… American Idol.  There are some people with some serious ambitions there… but a tiny bit short on the talent.

I think when the two things line up in a person, you have those that excel past the rest.  The Presidents.  The Rock Stars.  Those Rocket Scientists.  And Super Athletes.    You get the likes of Oprah Winfrey, Julia Child, Lebron James, and Lady Gaga.

But just because one isn’t famous… doesn’t mean they are on the high scale of things.  I think luck has a lot to do with fame.

Yep… every day… I meet (and KNOW) people who are wildly talented at what they do.  I stand in awe sometimes.  The innovators, and idea makers.  The problem solvers and the peace keepers.  Good plumbers, and excellent cooks.  Gardeners, and bee keepers.

We all bring something different to the table.  We all contribute to this life in numerous ways.   We are unique and distinct.  It is good this way.  In such…. we need each other.  And needing one another is a part of being human.  For that is what humans do.  Not only do we need one another… but we can be there for others.  And that is a beautiful thing.

Especially if you need someone to poach your eggs.

There are certain people who seem to really have figured out this living life thing.  They appear to be completely at ease in their own skin, and are happy to be where ever it is they happen to be.  Undoubtedly, those few have learned to dance in the rain.  I can only think they must have been friends with the likes of Friedrich Nietzsche.

They must have been hanging out together, in the break room at work, eating tuna salad sandwiches and Fritos, when Friedrich would say things like this…..  Just like this.

“What if a demon were to creep after you one night, in your loneliest loneliness, and say, ‘This life which you live must be lived by you once again and innumerable times more; and every pain and joy and thought and sigh must come again to you, all in the same sequence. The eternal hourglass will again and again be turned and you with it, dust of the dust!’ Would you throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse that demon? Or would you answer, ‘Never have I heard anything more divine’?”

And then… maybe later that night, they hooked up with F. Scott Fitzgerald, and went out for Bowling and Hot Wings.  And after rolling a strike or two.. F. Scott would sit back down on the ball return and say…

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.”

That’s how it must have happened.  At least, that is what I am saying tonight.

It has been said that a picture is worth a thousand words.  In some cases, that statement is true.

At other times, not so much.

But when I go out with my camera, and just have a look around… No matter where I am standing… or for that matter…. the place or the time…. I can see a thousand different pictures.  And each of them have a thousand different words…. which add up to a thousand different stories.

The other day, I walked down a random alley in town.  I saw so many things that made me wonder, or gave me things to consider.  I will imagines those stories, about those sights, or circumstances.

An old towel left draped over a fence.
Three dogs, in junkyard dog world.
A brick wall, still standing, but barely.

It all seems to me…. that much has transpired here… in all the time before I arrived.  Arrived on this scene with my camera in hand, to capture these things in this precise moment.

And after I leave, they will change again.

It is simply, the passage of time.  Never before.  Never again.

It is my guess that we shouldn’t wish that time away…. or even wish for it back.  But while it is here, we should drink it in, for all it is worth.  We might be doing our best when we are in each moment, being aware.  And simply.  Being.

Creating a thousand pictures.  With a thousand words.  Each and every precise moment of our lives.

 
Time passes irrevocably.  –  Virgil

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.  — Steven Wright

Tonight I will tell the story of the famous Mexican Bandit named El Owel.  True Story.   Of course, from Mexican Bandit, you may have surmised this story took place in Mexico.  It was back in the days when cowboys were cowboys, and the west was a wild as …. well…. The Wild West.

But Mexico was WAY, WAY wilder.  And way more dangerous.  Much like it is today…. even when you compare it to the south side of LA.

But nonetheless, El Owel was one of the most renowned bandits of the time.  His real name was Pancho El Owelez.  He used to rob trains, stage coaches, banks, and even rich people… right in their own homes.

About the only places he didn’t steal money from was whore houses and saloons.  For obvious reasons.  Nobody, not even a Mexican Bandit… wishes to burn bridges.

At any rate, he was pretty fierce, against the entities he stole money from.  And he stole a lot.  He made Jesse James look like Shirley Temple.   But he had a good side too.  He always gave a bunch of the money to the poor people.  He would ride through the towns… and EVERYONE knew he was coming.  El Owel would throw Gold Pesos and Gold Escudos in the streets.  (Even the “sheriffs” would look the other way… as they were grabbing up gold coins.)

But here is the deal.  He used to laugh out loud when he was robbing people.  He laughed his fool head off. And he had a funny high pitched laugh.. reportedly.

Everyone loved him.  Everyone would shout his name in the streets.  (Well… the poor “Everyone”)  But they would shout…. El Owel!  El Owel!  Graffiti followed of course.  And when people penned letters, and wanted to express laughter or delight… they would write his name.

Of course, over the years, this was handed down, time and again.   These days we can find it in our modern culture… mostly on the internet.  LOL.

And that is the way and the legend…. of the dirty, low-down, dusty, stealing, conniving, good-natured, kind-hearted, generous, Mexican Bandit.
LOL.  LOL.  El Owel!    Estoy lleno de mierda.

Well… I guess you could call this a bonus post… or perhaps a Bon Voyage.

I know I’ve said it before, but this time… good dear friends…. I  am writing in all sincerity. 

You know, I check the ‘stats’ on this Project 10374, or The Big Can Do, or whatever.  Most days, I get pretty good viewership.  But lately, things have dropped off.  Not so much overall, but BIG flex is days. It makes me wonder.

It is getting more difficult for me to feel “fresh” with this.  Most days, I feel like I am boring you to tears. That makes me wonder too.

At any rate, the long and short of it is this.  I said yesterday, if my numbers didn’t hit a certain mark today…. I was hanging up the Ol’ Writing App.

And guess what happened.   Little bitty numbers.  Which sort of tells me that the Universe might be telling me something.  Like the big black hole… the one closest to us in the Universe … sent those vacuous stats to me.  It could happen.

So.  It is a filled with a sort of sadness when I say that I am going to close this chapter… with a huge, and incredible, and wonderful…. THANKS ….  to all who have stuck through it with me.  And a big “Loving Heart Wish” to all.

As Mr. Murrow said.  Good Night. And Good Luck.