A typical conversation…. heard in farm fields all across America.

Hay.
Hay.
Whatcha’ doing?
Oh hay, I’m outstanding in my field.
Hay!  I’m outstanding in my field too.

Sooooo…… You got anything lined up?
Nope.
Me either.   …  … … Hay…. what kind of computer do you use?
Dell.
Hay, me too.  The Farmer’s into Dell.
Yep, I’ve heard the Farmer’s into Dell.

You mean old McDonald, right?
Yeah.  He has the farm.

Well….hay… should we get things rolling?
Sure.  I mean, I don’t want to go against the grain.

You going first, or should we draw straws?
Uhhhhmmmm.  On second thought, maybe we should just bale.
Good idea.  Let’s just bale.

Unless something better crops up?
Good idea.   Then, maybe we can make a bundle.

Hay… a car is going by.  Let’s give ’em a golden wave.
Hay!

Never a dull moment.

Look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see, and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious.  –  Stephen Hawking

Not only do we have a whole bunch of holidays here in the United States, we have a heck of lot of Public Awareness going on.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  When it comes to Public Awareness Days, and liking all of them…. I am Switzerland.   Seriously, I think it is ALL good.   Public Awareness is important …. as most of these are focused on public health, and personal betterment.

But dang!  There are a lot of them.  Sometimes we have “days, weeks, or months” which are devoted to a cause.  Breast Cancer Awareness Month is probably the most widely recognized.  Everybody wearing pink “this or that”…. from football players to street sweepers.

Consider this.  JUST during the month of November… we have COPD Awareness Month,  Dercum’s Disease (Adiposis Dolorosa) Awareness Month
Good Nutrition Month, National Epilepsy Month, National Diabetes Awareness Month, National Red Ribbon Month (anti-drunk-driving), Vegan Awareness Month, National Hospice Month, National Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month, and of course…National Prematurity Awareness Month. The list gets even longer with the “day and week” observances.

I mean… World Vegan Day came and went on November 1, without my noticing.

Even so… all of it garners interest, and support.  Like a  snowball.   Which is good…..  in some cases.
Our culture seems to operate that way.  I mean… the best way to draw a crowd is with a crowd.  Or have you ever tried this?  Standing on a busy sidewalk and looking up?  For a lengthy period of time.   Many people will most certainly begin craning their necks upward… simply to get a look.  We are a culture of followers.

It reminds me of the scene from Dead Poet’s Society.  Robin Williams asks his students to take a walk around & about a courtyard.  Quickly, they fall into a well-oiled circle, marching and clapping in unison.  And that was his point.  We have become conformers and followers.

So.  Here is my bright idea.

I think we need an National Loopiness Week.  (I won’t even ask for a month at this point.)  That’s right.  Loopy.  An entire week devoted to being your SILLY self.  Letting your funny side out of its cage.  Doing something out of the ordinary.  Putting the filter down for just one moment, and letting the goofiness flow.

Stand on a table.  Sing out loud in the middle of the grocery store.  Act like you are speaking in a foreign language.  Draw on the sidewalk with some chalk.  Slide down a banister.   In the great words of Donald O’Conner in Singing in the Rain…. “Make ’em laugh.”

Yep.  I think the world would be a better place if we all lightened up just a notch.   Hug somebody… just for the heck of it.  And then pull their nose…. and say… “Hey.  Got your nose!”  Laugh a little more.  Sing a little louder.  Celebrate.
Celebrate National Loopiness Week.  Start today.  Your life depends on it.

“Well, if you want to sing out, sing out
And if you want to be free, be free
‘Cause there’s a million things to be
You know that there are” — Cat Stevens

Goldilocks was one tough customer, I’ll tell you that much right now.
But you know, when you consider it….. she was a real criminal.  Plain and simple.

I mean seriously.  If you break down the story, GL was guilty of trespassing, breaking and entering, and possession of stolen articles.  She also fled from the scene of a crime.  All and all, she could have served 14 to 25 years, depending on the judge.

That would have been bad.  Let’s say she was 9 or 10 as she entered the penal system.  At best, she would have probably been released from prison at age 20 or so… if she behaved well and made parole.

My guess is, by the time she got out, she would have been a hardened criminal.  Lots of ink and dreadlocks.  Her nickname would have been “Goldy Lock Me Up.”    Then we’d have a heck of a Fairy Tale on our hands, wouldn’t we?

But back to the story as it was written.  She was one tough customer.  No ifs, ands, or buts.   This chair was too hard, this one too soft.  Oh for crying out loud Goldy.  You are breaking and entering.  Just sit down any old place.

And the whole porridge thing.  Here is a big hole in the story.   That oatmeal came out of the same pot.  So how did one get very, very hot…. and the next very, very cold… and the next one just right?  Even still….  Goldilocks was as finicky as they come.

Off to bed.  Same deal as the chairs.  But she finally just dozes off, right in the midst of ripping this place off.  Not your smartest criminal.    And then she ran out of there like a scared little girl when the Bears came home.  (Well…. maybe she was a scared little girl.)  Nonetheless.

What I want to know is…. WHERE were her parents in all of this?  What the heck were Mr. & Mrs. Goldilocks doing that they let their small child amble through the deep dark forest on her own?  Pitiful.

So… as we revisit this childhood saga of old…. what the heck was the moral of the story?  Honest to goodness?  Steal and Run?  Take what isn’t yours?

I guess if we could learn anything, it would be from the Bears.   Three Grizzlies.  They could have easily “taken care” of Goldilocks right then and there.  But they saw she was afraid, and vulnerable.  So they let her go… even though she had committed several offenses against them.  They were kind and forgiving Bears, who made great porridge.  They probably figured Goldy needed to eat more than they did.  Those benevolent, compassionate Bears.

Yes.  We should learn from their example.  Kindness and Altruism.  Those were three good Bears.

Annnnnnddddd…… Next week… The Gingerbread Man.  Now that one will be sure to keep you up nights.  Run, run, as fast as you can.  Believe me… it is not a story about getting fit.

Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.  –Scott Adams

So… I think we all know that I don’t write this “blog” or “column” or “thing” every night for the paycheck.  In fact… there is not dollar amount involved.  The main reason I DO write this in “in hopes.”  By that, I mean… it is in hopes that it will somehow “reach” one person each day… at the very least.   This could be in the form of making someone smile, or chuckle…. or perhaps provoking a thought… or sparking a new idea.  Maybe even making their day a little better… in some way, shape, or form.

But every now and again.. I have to write about what is heaviest on my mind or in my heart.  Such is the case tonight.
I typically don’t use my “writing entries” for political, religious, or governmental issues.  But there are some things that are happening in legislation, and otherwise….. which concern me.

It seems to me that the United States is moving backwards in certain areas of our culture and understanding.   In many ways, we are at a standstill in the evolutionary process as a society.  I think.

You know, throughout history, there were things which used to occur…. and NOW we think those behaviors or practices…. are unheard of.  But what the heck, I say.  Let’s just throw it all out the window, start WAY back at square one, and bring those things around again.

How about if we start with the “Rule of Thumb?”  The deal USED to be… it was legal to beat your wife with a stick….  so long as the diameter of that stick…. was not larger than your thumb.  Sound absurd now?   Well… in my estimation… so do some of today’s rulings and decisions that are being passed in courts and in legislation.

Okay next.  Slavery.   Since we are being obtuse.  Let’s bring that back too.    Oh no???   That would be a HUGE violation on Human Rights????   Hmmm.   There are recent verdicts in the courts that are violating human rights also….   Albeit a different minority… but a group of minorities nonetheless.

How about this one?   Let’s rescind the Right to Vote for Women.  I mean, since we are wiping the slate clean…  that would certainly put women “back in their place.”

If you don’t know what I am getting at…. I’ll just say this.

Tonight, in Las Vegas,  probably 20 or so…. Barbies and Kens… will get drunk in some bar…. They will proceed to think it is a good idea to marry the Barbie or Ken sitting next to them… and off they will go.  Yep… get them to the Chapel on time.  They will be licensed to marry….. And in just a moments notice… they will be afforded all of the human and legal rights of married people.  Count on it.  Another round of Gin and Tonics please….. before we head to the Chick-fil-A for the reception.

And elsewhere in America tonight…. There are couples who have been faithful to one another for 25 years or many, many more  …. They’ve raised children and grandchildren together…  they’ve paid taxes, obeyed the laws of the land, voted, and on.  They are lawyers, and teachers, and doctors, and preachers.   They are cashiers, and backhoe operators.  They are soldiers, and police officers, and fire & rescue workers.  Yet they will not be afforded that same luxury…. as those same good old Barbies and Kens in Vegas.

And that bites.

So… to leave you on a positive note.  A bar joke.

A guy walks into a bar and asks for a beer. He chugs it, looks into his pocket and asks for another beer. He chugs that beer, looks into his pocket and asks for another.

The man does this a few more times until the bartender asks, “How come you ask for a beer, chug it, then look in your pocket?”

The man says, “Because there is a picture of my wife in my pocket and I’m gonna keep drinking till she looks good enough for me to go home.”

Ahhhh…. the repercussions of another Vegas Marriage.

Today, I was reflecting on many different things, and I was pretty deep in thought.  And out of the clear blue, our not-so-recent trip to Europe came to mind.  Specifically, St. Petersburg, Russia.

I was thinking about our first day there.  We started very early, like around 4:30 or 5:00 a.m.  We had to be through Customs / Immigration by 7 a.m. to meet up with our Russian Tour Guide.

The day was a complete whirlwind.  We tromped all over St. Petersburg on that chilly, rainy day.  Non-stop.

Our final activity for the day was a Traditional Russian Show at the Town Square Theater.  It started off so vibrant and colorful and dazzling.  Dozens of people twirling, and singing, and dancing, with all their might.   But ….. intermingled with the energetic dancing, were military types singing very long, drawn out ballads…. in Russian….  with a sprinkle of depression mixed in.

At Intermission, one of our group of four suggested the possibility of bailing.  In a heartbeat, we bailed.  It was 10 p.m. at night, and getting back on our big boat, and falling asleep, sounded like a much better idea than listening to another ballad.

BUT.  Today it hit me… as I was in deep in thought.  “I wonder what we missed.  What if we missed something spectacular?  I will never know.”

And when that thought hit me, I started to get a little sad… and a little Russian-Ballad-Depressed.

Nevertheless…. hope sprung.  Maybe we did miss something grand.  But no matter where we are, or what we are doing ….. there are a million, billion, spectacular things happening simultaneously…. all over the world.  At any given moment…. at any given time.   And we can’t  possible be a part of all of them… or even a tiny bit of them.

No.

But what we can be… is a big part of the spectacular NOW.  Where ever that “now” may be for us.    Right here.  Right at this moment.    We should take notice of the spectacular now.    Because it is.

We woke up this morning.  We are fortunate to be alive.  We have been given the precious and magnificent gift of human life.  We should use it to be better people.  It is such a good and wondrous thing to have the spectacular …… right here in our midst.

Sing it and dance it… with all your might.

Let your soul stand cool and composed before a million universes.  —  Walt Whitman

To me, every hour of the day and night is an unspeakably perfect miracle.  —  Walt Whitman

Have you ever ducked when you should have dodged?

Happens to me all the time.

I first learned about this when I was a kid.  Back in the days of riding bikes without helmets…. and eating at salad bars before the invention of the sneeze-guard.

Yes.  Back in the days of small children playing dodgeball in church basements all across the nation.

This was our Go-To Game at Our Lady of Mercy Grade School, when the weather was inclement.  And by inclement, it had to be bad.  Those nuns were hard core, and our little butts would be out on the playground, unless there was a Typhoon, or a Blizzard, or worse.

Anyway.  I digress. Dodgeball.

Oh how I loved Dodgeball.  But I was dang good at it.  It would always come down to me and Steve Dahm on either side of the line.  And it was cut throat.  I think Steve and I probably split the victories about down the middle.

But I can remember the first time I ducked, when I should have dodged.  One never forgets the feeling of having that hard rubber dodgeball hit you square in the face when you are nine years old.  The sting…. the dizziness…. the loss of rational thinking…..  ALL of this just before you see the stars…. and then feel the cold hard cement …..of the church basement floor …. pressed squarely on your cheek.

All nuns wore the same kind of shoes back then, by the way.  It is the first thing you see as you regain consciousness after sustaining the final hit of a dodgeball game.

At any rate.  I ducked when I should have dodged.

This happens to me a little more often than I like, as an adult.  Not so much on the dodgeball court.  But on the day to day maneuvering through this or that.

I have found that I typically get hit square in the face, when I really try to control a situation.  So many times  I think I know the right way.  Yet, there may be a hundred other better ways.  Yet, I persist and push.  And resist.

So I am beginning to realize this.   The more we fight against certain things….. be it life circumstances, events, people, ideas…. and on and on…. it seems, the more we will contribute to their presence and persistence into our daily lives.

It might serve me better, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually…. if I could learn to shift  the focus from that which I don’t wish to happen ….. to that which I am for.  And all the while, bending with ideas…. instead of trying to force them.

I guess the bottom line is this.  The more focus and energy we put on any particular thing…. the more we attract it in our lives.  Good or bad.  So if we centralize our efforts on the remarkable,…. it will more likely come about.

But if we say over and over….. “I just know this is going to be difficult.  I know it is going to be a hard situation.  This is just going to be terrible..”     Well.  Guess what.  It will probably be just as difficult as you predicted.    Ducking…. when we should have dodged.

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.  —  Dalai Lama

Tonight, as I sat down to write…. I fell asleep.

Fast asleep.  I can’t remember this ever happening before.

Which means I am tired.

Quite simply….. It was one of those days.  I feel like a dried up bouquet of flowers…

So, as tired as I am…. it is probably best that I just give in and go to sleep.

I  guess I’ll have to save the incredible story I was going to tell you about… for another time.   Holy Smokes it was really something.  Crazy, I’ll tell you.    I mean…. you would NOT have believed it….

But my eyelids are heavy…. so I will  leave you with this message.

If the lid on the jar says turn clockwise to open…. you should probably turn the lid clockwise IF you want to  OPEN  the jar.

Goodnight my friends.  I am going to be clock-wise right now and open the jar to a world of splendid dreams.

Daylight Savings Time (DST).    To bring you up to speed…… DST is the practice of advancing clocks during summer months by one hour.  We do this so that light is extended in the evening hours.  And as such…. it sacrifices normal sunrise times.

Typically, we users of DST adjust clocks forward one hour near the start of spring and adjust them backward in the autumn to “normal” or regular time.   You know the drill….. Spring Forward.   Fall Back.

So.  Yes, we fell back on hour over the past weekend in observance of the good old DST.   But I ask you this.   Why on God’s green earth are we still observing this unnecessary practice?  This is worse than Columbus Day.

It has been around a long time.  Too long, in my estimation.  The New Zealander George Vernon Hudson proposed the modern idea of daylight saving in 1895.   For one, I just think he was some kind of a practical joker.

The U.S. adopted this practice in hopes of conserving energy.

But I have not cared for DST for a very long time.  And I’ll tell you how long.

I have my first memory of it when I was probably six or seven.  I was learning to tell time…..  probably there-abouts.  Anyway, I would follow my Dad around the house, and “help” change all the clocks.  And we had a TON of clocks.   He didn’t grumble or complain.  Dad never, ever grumbled or complained about anything.

I remember specifically asking him why we had to do this.  And his answer was pretty comprehensive, explaining the whole rigmarole behind it.  Then, at the very end he shook his head and said… “But it just doesn’t make any sense to do it.”

Well.  That was like reading the stone tablets.  If it didn’t make sense to my Dad, then who the heck could it possibly make sense to?  He was the smartest man on the planet, for crying out loud.

And now…. as an adult, I have “read” the pros and cons.  But the main reason we are “supposed” to be following this asinine practice is to conserve energy.  Yet, every study I have come across…. has proven the opposite effect.  We use slightly more energy as a result of Daylight Savings Time.

We should just stop this nonsense…. for a number of different reason.  But,  the two most important reasons are as follows.
1.  It is a pain in the butt.
2.  It is a ROYAL pain in the butt.

Nevertheless, as you continue to find the rogue clock or wristwatch that missed the turn-back…. and you freak out up and down… because you are an hour late for an important meeting…   say a BIG FAT thank you to George Vernon Hudson.   He also invented the Whoopee Cushion and Fake Dog Poop.

For now, we can’t change Daylight Savings Time.  But we can change other things.
So……  In the words of my Grandma Kronenberger…. “Go Vote.”  Today.

The Otherwise…. as I like to call it.

First, let me reiterate what I’ve said here 50 times before.  I believe in science.  Because…. it has proof.  You know.  Those pesky scientific laws.

Energy is the driving force for the universe. Period.
There are three laws of energy.  That’s it.  Three.
The first….. states that the total amount of energy in the universe is constant. It cannot be created nor destroyed.
Period.
This means that all of the energy has to end up somewhere, either in the original form or in a different form.
Exclamation Point.

Now I won’t drone on about the other laws. Nope.

But energy is in us, and all around us…. in a million, trillion, different forms.

Here is the thing.  We humans are limited in our perceptions.  We can’t see all forms of energy.   Which brings me to this.

Yesterday, someone sent me a note.  It relayed some very personal details, about a very touching life event.

It gave me yet another reason to believe in The Otherwise.  It showed me once again, just how good people can be……, and that energy is flowing in and about and around us.  Constantly.  Sometimes we see it.  Sometimes we feel it.  And then there are occasions when we are oblivious to it.

I speculate that the more open we become to receiving this good energy, this wavelength, this dynamic…. the MORE we will experience it, and know it.

I have tried to write this a dozen times tonight, and I just can’t explain what it is in my heart about all of this.  There are so many things that I think may be possible.  Things we can’t explain.  Things we can’t even comprehend.   But whatever you believe……  what EVER you know in your heart… that is what is right also.

Because at this moment, the universe is exactly as it should be.  And all the energy in this universe continues to flow, from one form to another.  No more.  No less.

And.  All of life is a series of transformations.    Where there is life, there is change.  From this to that.  The Otherwise.

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.  — Helen Keller

People love to tell tall tales.  Or pull the wool over another’s eyes.

And they seem to get giddy with a sense of accomplishment when such a task is completed.  This act of Tom Foolery.

But, as a City Girl, turned Country Girl, with the City still Embedded…. I am here to dispel a falsity of epic proportions.  And that my friends is the Practice of Cow Tipping.    Yes.  Cow Tipping.
Much like the renowned  Snipe Hunting, it is better known…… … as a practical joke.

It is reminiscent to  telling a newbie in a pizza restaurant to go to the refrigerator for the dough repair kit.

So, I hate to be the party pooper, but here I am, once again.  Pooping on the party.

Yet, with all of that said, I do have a Cow Tipping story to share with you.  It happened, probably about a dozen years ago.  We were driving through Minnesota, or Michigan,… or actually, it could have been Wisconsin.  Nonetheless.   We were on a country road, and it was getting late. To top it off, we were getting hungry.

So we pulled over at a roadside diner.  It was a bit of a hole in the wall.  Funny, I can’t remember which state, but the name of the diner!  It was Earl and Myrtle’s Hometown Dining.

Earl welcomed us.  He was both the Maitre D and the waiter.  There were probably eight tables in the place.  All empty.

We ordered burgers with the works.  But, one of their specials was Homemade Au Gratin Potatoes.  We ordered a couple of servings of those too.  Oh my goodness.  I will never forget those spuds.   They were THE best I’ve ever eaten.  In fact, we got one more order, and split it.

As we were paying our bill we, gave Earl a nice tip for the great service.  Then I handed him some extra money and asked him to give it to the Cook…..  as those were the best cheesy potatoes I’d ever had.  He said Myrtle made them, and he could go get her…. If we liked.

A few minutes later, he walked out of the kitchen with a large Holstein cow in tow.  Myrtle.

She sauntered toward us.  Myrtle then nodded as if to thank us for the extra cash.  Earl apologized that she didn’t talk much, but she certainly was thanking us for our generosity.  He also added that the potato dish was so good because Myrtle made her very own cheese.  Fresh.

That night was really something, I’ll tell you.  I was very glad for it though.  But as I exited the diner, it hit me.
We had just tipped a cow.

So as you can see…. Cow Tipping actually CAN happen… now that I think of it.  And that is the udder truth.

Never, ever underestimate the importance of having fun.  —  Randy Pausch

“The simple step of a courageous individual is not to take part in the lie. “One word of truth outweighs the world.”   ― Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn