Tonight, I think I am done.

Either that or, there are some ruthless chickens, as life-sized cardboard cutouts.

What is not started today is never finished tomorrow.  –  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Big Al once told Stanley… “Anyone can commit just about anything to memory.  Repeat it over and over.  But to know the meaning behind the words is an entirely different deal, old boy.”…..  OR….in other words……“Any fool can know. The point is to understand.” ~ Albert Einstein

In this world…. there is an awful lot to be learned.  If we care to.

And…. as our human luck would have it…. we can receive teachings or lessons from anybody and anything.

The world is a big place.  The universe…even bigger.  You know how I can chatter on about these things. It seems to me that the existence here, is completely and awesomely vast.  Yet even though that MAY be  I think. ….our everyday experiences are enough to teach us all that we need to know.

Perhaps to be able to do this… we need to be sensitive enough so that we can “be a part” of  every situation that takes place in our lives and find out what it has to teach us.

Sometimes… the things that need to be learned cannot be found in classrooms, or in churches,  from government leaders… or even from the smartest person on earth.  The real lesson of life is not about knowledge. It is all about the happening… the awareness…  and the understanding.

If we can simply learn to live with an open heart and an open mind …. if we can  allow ourselves to get the most  from every situation that we bump in to.  No matter what the experience may be.

Like a rolling stone.  We just might find… We get what we need.

The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them. – Ernest Hemmingway

Don’t find fault.  Find a  remedy. – Henry Ford

Once upon a time, in a little corner of the world, there lived three mice.  Sally, Sandy, and Sarah mice.  Oh hold on to your whiskers…. for these three loved cheese.  They loved cheese sooooo much they could barely stand it.

But.  Each one had a favorite kind of fromage.   Sally liked Edam…. because she thought it was fun to say Eat ’em, when she ate it.  Now,  Sandy found that Muenster was her favorite….. .because she liked to hum the theme to the Munster’s when she munched it down.   And Sarah liked Swiss… because she was a good yodeler.

Now… these three mice lived in the same house… oh yes they did.  And they could not agree upon a favorite.  In fact… they argued day and night over which cheese was the superior kind.  Edam. Muenster.  Swiss.  Edam. Muenster.  Swiss.  Over ad over again…

At dinner time… they could scarcely enjoy their cheeses… because they were too busy quarreling to even taste their delights.  Night after night this went on.  Day after day.  Bicker. Bicker. Bicker.  Squeak. Squeak. Squeak.

Then… one day… while they were away from the mouse hole…. at the mall… buying new outfits…  … someone came in and stole all the cheese.  Gone.  All of it.  Not even a nibble.

When they returned, they discovered the cheese was missing.  Even the baby cheeses. were gone.  This made them very sad.

That night, at dinner, they ate a slice of tomato and a large biscuit crumb.
But.  There was no arguing. Instead… there was  laughter… and musing.. and fun.  They enjoyed the tomato and the really big biscuit crumb.  Together.

And that is how it goes… sometimes.  Little mice have a way of focusing on their little differences.  But in fact… the things they argued about… those differences….  were all very much alike.  IT was cheese… after all.

Yet when that cheese was gone… when those differences disappeared… they found in fact… they TRULY liked one another.  And could share good things with one another.  Happily.

And sometimes… my friends… that is what happens in people’s lives too.  In government, in relationships… in communities.

Love the cheese.  Share the cheese.  Appreciate the differences.

“The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.”  –  Friedrich Nietzsche

I love a good upset.  Last week there  was Duke vs. Wake Forest.  And today, Oregon and Arizona  But that’s College Basketball.

Yet… there is a lot to be said for getting behind the Underdog and rooting them through to the finish line.   Oh yeah.  High fives all around.

But “Good Upset” is a bit of any Oxymoron isn’t it?

I’ll tell you when I don’t love a good upset.  When it happens to me.

As life would have it… there are times when we have to deal with people or things that don’t “want” to deal with.    And as you might expect… it can be quite upsetting.   And some people have much bigger challenges than others.

Yet, most of the time, we push through it.  We do what we have to do and get on with it.

I once met someone who had an answer for this.  Two minutes.

She was a lawyer from Chicago.  Whenever an unpleasant task rolled around… she would just say… “Oh, it will just take you two minutes.”

And. Done.

At first blush, everything may not seem that cut and dry.  But there is a lot to be said for this attitude.  It is called staying in the moment.

“I just am doing ‘this thing’ or ‘that’ for this moment.”    One minute at a time.

And sometimes that is all we can do… to get through whatever the “deal” is.

Today I lost my good pal Ernestine.  She was carefree, and beautiful.  She seemed to be incredible at swimming through life with out a care… at living in the moment.  No expectations, or worries.   She had a graceful and fluid way of navigating each day.   I am going to miss Ernestine dearly.  She used to come right up to the surface and eat out of my hand.  Sounded like a little piggy.

Oh yeah…. Ernestine was my favorite fish. … …. about a 25-pound Koi.  Gone forever.  Dead in the water… no pun intended.

I had to slug my way down there to the pond and pull her out.  Slimy dead fish… are very difficult to pull out of a semi-frozen body of water.

So… as unpleasant as that task may have been for me…  a couple of things became very apparent.

I simply had to push through this nasty task.
And… it was WAY worse for Ernestine than it was for me.

Yep…. a little bit of an upset.

But I was rooting for the Underdog…   all the way.  All the way.

“We must overcome the notion that we must be regular…it robs you of the chance to be extraordinary and leads you to the mediocre.” – Uta Hagen

(Editor’s Note:  Louisville appeared originally in the column.  It should be, and NOW is… Arizona.  Thanks Jan Deters for the blue pen mark.)

Bob, I got a joke for you.
Shoot Gary.  Well….. you know… don’t SHOOT.  But go ahead with the joke.

Okay Bob.  Here it goes.  Knock. Knock.
Who’s there?
Duck. Duck.
Duck. Duck. Who?
Duck. Duck.  Goose.   Bahhhaaaahhhhaaaaaa.

Ahhhhh….. dang gone it Gary.  You got me AGAIN.  Oh man, I fall for that lousy joke EVERY SINGLE TIME.  I must be some kind of a bird brain….. or something.    I JUST can’t believe you did it to me again.

Ohhhh Yeah Bob.  That WAS funny.
Right Gary.  Funny like a Clown in a Clown Suit…. or maybe…..funny like a Hunter in  Hunting Waders.

Way to spoil a perfectly good joke Bob….  way to go.

“Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.”  –   Mary Anne Radmacher

Some things are fading away.

In fact… certain parts of the English Language are disappearing.  The long and the short of it… SLANG is here one day, and gone the next.

Today, things are Phat.  Or Sick…. when they are something “good”….

Hmmmm.  I guess that is vomitous.  In a good way.

But yesteryear had some great phrases.  They seemed to have a lot more color and creativity.  I mean… they would make people today want to twerk.

Okay, Okay.  Just a few off the top of my head…..

The Bee’s Knees.
The Cat’s Meow.
Too big for your britches.
Palooka.
Just fell off the turnip truck.
Stool Pigeon.
What do you want, an egg in your beer?

I tell you.  Those are some good ones.

So why the hubbub?  Well.  Today I mentioned to some that I had to go the John.  She looked at me like I was from Neptune.

I said… “You know.  The John.  The Restroom…..  The Toilet.”
She just stared at me blankly.

When did people quit calling the john…. the JOHN?  It started a long time ago.. .and probably should be remembered with every trip there.

You see…..the first recorded inventor of flush toilet is John Harrington.
Although John’s design was a precursor to the modern flush toilet system…. he designed it way back in 1596.

But….. (no pun intended)…..such systems did not come into widespread use until the late nineteenth century.  And of course most people have heard of that designer.  It was one…. Thomas Crapper …. who got the ball floating in England.

When you gotta’ go… you gotta’ go.  To the John, that is.

And….you better shake a leg… or you will be all washed up…. before you get to the hoity toity.

  After all is said and done, a lot more will have been said than done.    ~ Author Unknown

A side note… Apologies if I may have written about this a few years back.  But these days… it seems I am spending a lot of time talking about the John.

There are a lot of theories out there, about our human existence.  Everything under the sun, from A to Z, has been entertained as the “reality” of our existence.

Is it all as simple as what we think we know?  Rolling out of bed in the morning, eating your bowl of Captain Crunch, filling up the car at the BP Gas Station, and pushing off to Dunkin’ Donuts… to make the donuts?

I think there is more.  Some people believe in Alien Intervention.  Others believe in a bearded man in the sky.  It all depends where you are sitting, I guess.

But who knows for sure.  And if you do know for sure… you are one  SMART cookie.

Here are a couple of theories which abound.
Great glaciation.
Solipsism.
Idealist Philosophy
Presentism.
The Multiverse Theory
… and the list goes on.

One of my personal favorites…
Plato and Logos.
So we all sort of know who Plato is. He is probably….the world’s most famous philosopher. And you know how philosophers are.  Old Playdough had a few things to say about reality.

Here’s how it went with him.  He argued that beyond our perceived reality there lies a world of “perfect” forms.   Everything that we see is just a variation….., an imitation of how things truly are.

He went on to say that if we study philosophy….we have a chance of catching a glimpse of how things truly are.  We little humans have a chance of discovering the perfect forms of everything we perceive.

And the rest…. our boy said that everything is made of a single substance. Which would the mean that diamonds,  egg beaters, and bird poop all consist of the same basic material.  But in a different form.    Well now, it seems that with  science’s discovery of atoms and molecules… a lot of this has been proven true.

Okay… one more favorite.
Fictional realism.
Underdog is real.  So is Shrek.  And Superman.  You see…. this branch of the theory argues that given an infinite number of universes….. everything must exist somewhere.

Harry Potter.  Spock.  And on.  Yepppers….. all of our favorite fiction and fantasy MAY be descriptive of an alternate universe……a location where all the right pieces came in to place to make it happen.  Over and over again.

You just never know… is all I am saying.
To take the other side of one of those popular catch phrases… I say….
“It isn’t what it isn’t.”

And to illustrate my point….

The Beatles said in their song, Across the Universe…. “Nothing’s gonna’ change my world.”  Yoko Ono said… “You change the world by being yourself.”
If that isn’t enough… Gandhi said… “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”  And then…  Margaret Mead chimed in… “A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”

“I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman.”  – Homer Simpson

There are caboodle’s of movies which I love.  I have all sorts of favorites, in different genres, all across the board.

But one that is heavy on my mind this evening is a long time favorite of mine.  It came out in  1979 and starred none other than… Steve Martin.  Yes.   The classic tale is The Jerk.

“Someone hates those cans.  Stay away from the cans.”

At any rate, Martin plays Navin.  He is a bit thick in the head.  Pea soup thick.  And very naive.  As luck would have it….  people exploit his gullibility.   Left and right.  But Navin presses on.

The movie is goofy to the core.   But there are some really good messages within.  His mother, a lovely and jubilant black woman,  tells him from early childhood that everyone has a “Special Purpose.”   Navin finds his special purpose in life… or THINKS he does….. .  And…. it turns out to be a bit convoluted and hilarious.

But the point of all of this IS…. I believe Navin’s Mom was right.    I too, think everyone has a Special Purpose in Life.

That is what I believe.

I am not sure if it is true… or how it works, exactly.  But… if I were writing the rules… we all would certainly have one.

It may not be heroic by society’s standards, or filled with money or fame…. but it would be there.  Everyone from World Dignitaries, to Well Diggers…. from Millionaire Financiers, to Menders of Fences….. Everyone would have a special purpose.   And maybe we do.

I don’t think it has much to do with what we do for a living…. but I think it has EVERYTHING to do with… WHAT WE DO FOR LIFE.  Be it our life, or the lives of others.  It is the choices we make each day to make this world a better place…

And if we aren’t making those good choices each day… maybe we haven’t found our old SP.

And as Navin Johnson would say…. “Those are defective cans.”

Every one who lives in a place where the season’s change…. is… probably ready for Spring.

I am the first one in line, most likely.

But here in Ohio, we keep getting hammered by Old Man Winter.  Jack Frost.  FreezeBoy February.

Well dang it anyhow.  Now it is March.  Certainly, we can hope for brighter days ahead?  Or not.

No matter. Rest assured…..  There is plenty to do in March, regardless of WHAT the crappy weather may or may not do.

Here are some ACTUAL offbeat holidays which are recognized, and celebrated in March.  So put your party hats on… start shaking your Maracas….  it is TIME to Carumba.

Okay. First Holiday.  If you like pigs… you missed it.  March 1 was National Pig Day.  Oink.

Another one you missed was yesterday…. Dr. Seuss’ Birthday.
Do not feel bad you missed the day.
You see I missed it too.
I was so busy feeling fine…
that I went off to the zoo.
I saw a Wide-Mouthed BaWuna there.
IT looked just like a fish.
I would have sang the birthday song.
But now I’ll just make a wish.

Okay.  Back at it.  March 4th is a biggie.  If you catch this column at breakfast you are in Ginormous Luck.  Today in National Pancake Day.  Stack up ’em up friends… and slather ’em with Maple Syrup.

The list goes on and on.  There’s everything from National Goof-Off Day (3.22) to National Middle-Name-Pride Day (3.7).

And the usual suspects.. . like National Pi Day (3.14) and The Ides of March (3.15).

My personal favorite rolls around on March 10.  It is Mario day.  You see… Mario is spelled out by MAR. 10.  Clever, huh?  And heaven knows, I love to play Super Mario Brothers.

But my point is this.

There is SO much to do in March.  And it didn’t just fall out that way.  People sat down and came up with these holidays.   Wasteful you say?  Goofy, stupid?

Well… maybe.  But it seems to me that sometimes in life… we NEED to look forward to things.  And if you don’t have anything to look forward to…. it might be good to start making things up.

I think some people live their lives that way.  The SEEK OUT something to look forward to.  While others just sit around and complain about their lives… and the miserable lives of others.

If I had to pick one or the other… I think the “looking forward to things” sounds like a better idea.

Now excuse me, while I go get ready for National Proofreading Day.  It is one of my faverites.  Favrits.  Favorats.  Dang it.  It is one of my best choices.

Do you ever feel like something isn’t quite right.?
Or that someone may be watching you?

I took a walk down to the bridge earlier this evening, to see how the reconstruction was going….  and I got that eerie feeling.  A funny feeling.

At any rate, I took a few photos of the bridge.   THIS showed up….. on picture #13.  It creeped me out.

THAT thing is supposed to be in a bag, in a box, taped up, and in the freezer.

And there.  It showed up… on Photo #13.

At any rate… just a little while ago, we were watching the Oscars.  Every time I looked up… something seemed a little out of place… you know…. a little funny.

So I started taking photos of the TV.

And then……  it showed up… again.  Photo 6.

When I was a kid, I wanted to run away and join the circus.  But now… it seems… the circus is joining me.

Or perhaps… when things seem slightly out of sorts…. it could just be that the universe is clowning around with you.

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town.  – George Carlin