Sometimes, I have to sit back, and laugh at myself.  At the whole dang deal.

Tonight I’ve come to the revelation that I am like a walking ball of yarn.  Not the neat, nicely wound, fine ball of yarn.  That’s not me at all.  Albeit, I can be wound pretty tight on occasion.

But really, the kind of ball I am, is the one at the bottom of my Mom’s knitting basket.  It is the tangle, knotted, wrapped up, mess-of-a-ball-of-yarn.  The ball… all joined  together in an unending series of simultaneous chaotic and orderly connectedness.

That is me.

You see, I can be flippant.  I can be steady.  Nervous. Calm. Sometimes things seem easy and clear. On other occasions, they are muddy, and difficult to trudge through.  I can be happy as a lark, or as sad as Eeyore’s despondent brother.  From one extreme to the next.  Most of the time, I try my best to keep it somewhere in the middle.

The fact of the matter remains,  it is all wrapped up in one jumbled little package.  Both reasonable, and absurd.

So, I should feel right at home in the universe, for it is much the same way.   One big string of knotted connectedness.  It has its extremes.  At times it overwhelms me when I think of it all.  At any given moment on this planet, there are acts of extreme kindness, wonder, grace and love.  And at that same exact moment, in another place, there is something absolutely abhorrent and detestable happening.  Simultaneously.

I want to make a difference… all the time.  Yet. I don’t think it is possible to make a difference… all the time.  Ball of yarn, I am telling you… ball of yarn.  I want to unwind it all… and get to the bottom of this.  Yet, maybe all I can do, is to approach one knot at a time.

Yes. I have to remember to do what I can, when I can, with what I have.

It just seems like so much.

Einstein once ingeniously said that we only fail when we quit trying.

So.   When I grow up, I want to be like Albert.  And a little like… Gandhi.  And Lincoln.  And Edison.   And… and…

I think that I will just keep on trying.

“How long should you try? Until.” – J. Rohn