I think we live on a pretty amazing big ball of dirt.  This thing keeps making circles around the sun…. and while THAT is happening… it is spinning like a top itself.

So it is no wonder I get dizzy every now and again…unexplainably.

But the fact of the matter is…. I think this constant rotation of our digs here…. make certain things just plain old crazy-go-nuts.  You know those kind of things…  the ones that stop you in your tracks and make think… “What the heck!”  Like the strawberry filling in the middle of Pop-Tarts.

Dang..  …. … these things make me dizzy.  I wobble.

Okay.  Like.  Today in the grocery… I nearly dropped a dozen eggs when the thought hit me…. “If Jed Clampett had been a decent shot… he’d still be back in the hollers of  Bugtussle, Missouri.  Yep.  Granny, and the whole bunch of them….  eatin’ vittles somewhere in the Ozarks.”    But the dude couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn.  No.  Instead….. his stray bullet hits the ground… and oil flows a-plenty.  (Hey Jed.   Where are you now?  We could use a little oil in these parts…..)

And.  Speaking of Petroleum.  Here’s another thing I have recently learned… in honor of Super Big Fat Crazy Tuesday……

The United States’ 30th President, Calvin Coolidge, enjoyed eating pancakes.  Now that is not so whacky.  But this is.  He loved having his head rubbed with Vaseline while he ate breakfast in bed.  I am not sure why. And I am not sure by whom.  But this is true.  Go on.  Google it.

And you know… all that Vaseline must have affected his noggin.  He spent an unusual amount of time with the White House curtains.  He amused himself by ringing the White House doorbell and then scampering off to hide in the drapes.  He was a Republican, by the way.  That good old Cal…… ringing his own doorbell and running.

Did you know that Coolidge has lots of different jobs?   One was Tax Collector…. and that leads me to this.  Tax Day is not that far off.  Just over a month away.  Woot.  Woot.  The IRS Employees’ Tax Manual has instructions for collecting taxes after a nuclear war.  This to me… is crazier than having your head rubbed with Vaseline.

The Tax Man Cometh.  But does he drive?

The California Department of Motor Vehicles has issued six driver’s licenses to six different people named Jesus Christ.    I don’t quite know why this struck me funny.

Again… it spawns all sorts of questions.  What kind of car does each one of these Jesus’ drive?  When they cross rivers… do they have to take the bridge?   And what happens when someone cuts these Jesus-drivers off in traffic?  And.  Does his acquaintance Pontius Pilot fly a plane?

Finally…let us jump to the last thing.  A Kangaroo is unable to walk backwards.  And it is the same thing for me.

I think it is because the Planet Earth is in a constant spin…..  and we all know…. that makes me dizzy too.

“Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.” – Dr. Carl Sagan