I have known a lot of nuns. Some good. Some bad.

Tonight, I was going through some old family belongings, and I found this photograph from a long time ago.

Yep. A nun I knew. And I was reminded me of a story about her.

When I was pretty little, I was sitting in the doctor’s office.

Now, this here nun came running out of the exam room screaming and yelling. She was so upset, she didn’t even pay her bill, just slammed the door and left.

My Mom and I looked at each other, kind of surprised. About a minute later the doctor came out of his office.

The nurse asked him, “Doctor, what on earth happened in there?” The doctor replied, “Well, I examined her. Then I told her she was pregnant.”

My Mom and I looked at eachother again… kind of embarrassed.

Then the nurse said…. “Pregnant? A nun? That’s impossible!”
The doctor replied…. “I know it. But it sure cured her hiccups.”

“A friend to all is a friend to nun.”  (whoops,  I meant “none”)  – Aristotle

Today, my brother and I were tooling on down the highway. I was driving.  East on I-70.  I needed to scooch over to make my way to I-75.  And so I began.

My brother said, in a very calm, but stern voice….  “ Polly, there’s someone right beside us.”  Now…. with all that has been going on lately, I thought maybe he was channeling our Dad… or maybe a Grandparent….  right there, IN the car.  He said it again… this time with more emphasis.   “There is someone RIGHT beside us!  Right beside us.”

Well.  Again.  I’m thinking… my bro is starting to sound like the little kid from The Sixth Sense.  So I start looking at the seats in my car, to see if I could see what he was seeing.  And then I caught a glimpse out the back window.  HOLY CRAP! THERE’S SOMEBODY RIGHT BESIDE US…. IN THE NEXT LANE.

I corrected, and it was all fine and good, except for the birds that were flying from inside the other car.  Either that… or they were telling my  that I was #1 with their middle fingers.

At any rate…. once my Bro & I shared what the other was doing and thinking… we laughed and laughed and laughed.  I almost peed I laughed so hard.  And we all know… peeing and driving is not a good thing.

But, in that moment when all of that happened with the lane-switching … I could not understand the obvious.

Some times, it just isn’t so easy to see the obvious.  Like speaking into your phone when someone calls you…. or trying to pull a door open, when the sign on it clearly says push.

The obvious.  That which is easily perceived or understood; clear, self-evident.  The apparent.

And all of THAT reminds me of another old story… a Zen Parable, if you will.

One day a young little Buddhist dude on his big journey home.  So the little guy came to the banks of a wide river.   Staring hopelessly at the great obstacle in front of him…..  he pondered for hours and hours….. on just how to cross such a wide barrier.

Just as he was about to give up his pursuit to continue his journey he saw a great teacher on the other side of the river.  The young Buddhist yelled over to the teacher, “Oh wise one, can you tell me how to get to the other side of this river”?
The teacher pondered for a moment, looked up and down the river and yelled back, “My son, you are on the other side”.

And there you have it.

Obviously.

“If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough” – Albert Einstein

I have a cutie-patootie brother. Actually I have two “as cute as they can be” brothers. Each in their own right.

But any way. This is my oldest bro.

The other day… he told me that Mercury was in Retrograde. Now I need Astrology for Dummies to understand these things.

He briefly explained that…. When Mercury starts turning in an apparent backward motion, we will start to feel the effects of this event days or even as far as two weeks earlier. When the planet normalizes we will see the tempo of events pick up in our lives as the planet becomes “stationary” and then speeds forward.

But in the meantime… while it is Wigging Out….. apparently… SO ARE WE.

Communication of all sorts becomes haphazardly.

Well right now… mine stinks. I have written three different pieces tonight, and trashed them all.  The first on the ding dong lawyer who is suing the groundhog.  The second on Matilda Gage.  And the third on effects of pollution.  You see.  I am stumped. Stymied. Stagnant.

So… tonight. I give your Mercury in Retrograde and nothing else.

But just so you know… here are some other things to watch for. When Mercury retrogrades…… “You miss appointments, your computer equipment crashes, checks get lost, you find the car you just purchased during Mercury retrograde is a lemon. (Or, you hate your haircut, the lamp you bought shorts out, your sister hates her birthday gift.) There will be countless delays, cancellations and postponements.”  The crap hits the proverbial fan.

Apparently…. somehow…. all these things will benefit you in the long run. The Astrology Guru’s say “Don’t fight them, although your frustration level and feeling of restlessness will be hard to cope with at times.”

Bet me.

Mercury in Retrograde Sucks. As plain as the planet in your space. Or the nose on your face.
Heck. I can’t even get that right.

Call me……  I think.

Or maybe don’t.

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” – George Bernard Shaw

I love to learn.  To explore and seek and find.

I have long said that I wish to learn as much as I can about as much as I can.

Here is a something about that.

The smallest know particle to man is still an unknown.  How’s that?  It used to be a quark.  But now they (again, those folks in the lab coats) are finding possibilities of things much smaller.  I think I read just last week that one smaller is called a neutralino, or something along those lines.

And what about the biggest big?  Or more accurately…. the farthest far…. OR REALLY….. the oldest old?

Current observations suggest that the Universe is about 13.7 billion DANG years old.   This is hard for me to wrap my brain around sometimes.
We know that light takes time to travel, so that if we observe an object that is 13 billion light years away, then that light has been traveling towards us for 13 billion years. And that means….. essentially….. we are seeing that objects as they appeared 13 billion years ago.

It continues, I’ll tell you.  You see….  with every year that passes, our newest technology enables us to see further and further back.  OR on and on.

Ah, infinity.    I mean, wholly crap.  In the Milky Way Galaxy alone… there are more than 100 billion planets.

Yes.   I think the possibility of life in other places is quite possible.  Perhaps…. likely.

At any rate, as I meander around this little ball of ours, bumping into walls, and other objects, as I do…. I continue to be filled with wonder.  In between applying band-aids.

Yep.  Wonder.  And thoughts.

Some fall simply into the lines of this:  I don’t think they should be able to issue a Winter Storm Warning once it is officially Spring.  The Weather Service needs to rename this snow event to “Freakish Spring Snow Storm Warning”… because we all know…. Winter is over until the next time around.

Other thoughts go like this:  Calling a “Glue Stick” anything other than a Glue Stick…. would be…. ludicrous.  I can just hear the production meeting now.  “Let’s call it a Glue Tube”… “Oh hey… what about a Glue Rod?  Glue Wand?”   And then Ernie, way down at the end of the table, speaks up over his pocket protector… “What about Glue Stick?”  Yes. Brilliant in every way.  But my guess is, Ernie never got the credit for this one.

You see.  My mind flips from here to there and back again. “Who named Typhoid, Typhoid?”  “What do English Muffins have nooks and crannies?  Why not pockets and crevices?”  “How come I have a reoccurring nightmare in which Lime Jell-O is chasing me?”

With all of this, I came to a revelation today.  There are some things I don’t want to know. There is certain information I don’t want to be privy to.  I simply don’t.  Some things scare me.  Some things are too much for me to think about.  Some are just too sad, or large, or even too complicated.

Sometimes it is good just to be still, and think about breathing.  In and out, and back in again.  That is what I really need to learn about.

One little quark at a time.

“You’re searching, Joe, for things that don’t exist; I mean beginnings. Ends and beginnings — there are no such things. There are only middles.” – Robert Frost

I had to post this. Ninja Kitty made me laugh.

Wouldn’t you know it?  For some dang reason, the phrase “Well I’ll be a Monkey’s Uncle” has been on my little brain tonight.

I do not know why.  I have been looking for anything else to write about but this.  But guess what.  My goofy noggin keeps coming back to this phrase.  So I may as well explore it.

I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.

Just what does this mean, really?

Well, here is the obvious.

1. If you are an uncle…. you are most likely a man.
2.  Your brother, or your sister has a child of monkey proportions.
3.  The monkey child could be natural born, or it could be adopted.
4.  If adopted, this story could take off in numerous directions (no babies at the orphanage, hence the monkey; the parents have a propensity for primates, etc.)
5.  If the monkey is natural born it could mean a couple of things.  A.) one or both of the parents are monkeys; B.)  a very freak act of nature has occurred.
6.  If the monkey’s parents are monkeys… you could  A.) be a monkey too; or B.) your brother or sister was adopted as a monkey; C.) a freak act of nature.
7. Some affair of sordid proportions occurred somewhere along the lines.

No matter the scenario, there seems to be an awful lot at play here.

Now, this phrase is sometimes used in casual conversation… “Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.”…. which is used to express complete surprise, amazement or disbelief.

In the literal sense, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of surprise involved anywhere.   Unless of course, that # 7 possibility comes in to play.

At any rate.   It was originally a sarcastic remark made by non-believers of evolution.  The “Evolution” which Charles Darwin shared with the world with his 1859 book The Origin of Species, and his 1871 book The Descent of Man.   The notion “that people were descended from apes was considered blasphemous..  by Darwin’s contemporaries”.   And, and, and, it was for this reason that the sarcastic phrase came into use.

Hmmm.  Evolution aside….   today, as with every day … .. … on several occasions… I feel like saying… “I, Polly, am the biggest monkey brain in the world.”

And right now, I have an Aunt who is probably laughing… and definitely saying….

“Well I’ll be a Monkey’s Aunt.”

And I love her for it.

“If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive in this moment. Each is present in your body. You are the continuation of each of these people.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

I have a really good friend who works for the Ohio Department of Transportation.  ODOT.  (Sidebar:  I think the acronym ODOT is one of the best ones ever.  I just like the way it sounds.  Oh Dot!)  Anyway.  He works for the them.

He called me last night.  He was very upset.  He cried and cried, but I finally got him to tell me what was wrong.

You see.

My friend was fired from his job at the road department for stealing.

But……

I have to say I saw it coming. The last time I was at his house all the signs were there.

“Lots of people pray for a sign.  But do they ever really see them?” – Psychic Dory Belle

A friend of mine recently visited the Creation Museum.  I think it is somewhere near the Cincinnati Airport.  Now, I hadn’t heard much about it, prior to my friend’s visit.  But now that I’ve heard some details, I am really itching to go.

It appears that we don’t have dinosaurs anymore, because they missed the boat.  Not just one set, but every dang set of dinosaurs.  At least, that is what my friend discovered at the museum.

I have a theory on this.

You see… Noah and his wife… I think her name was Marge…. loved to cook.  So Noah and Marge decided to charge the animals in “spices” to get on the boat.  A big basket of spices, or herbs, would buy you a ticket.  So the rabbits brought Dill Weed, and the penguins paid in Tarragon.  The squirrels gathered Rosemary (not Clooney), the mongoose found lots of Parsley…. and on an on.

The dinosaurs were all over the place in trying to decide what to bring.  So, they settled on gathering a wide variety of spices to pay their way.

And when they showed up for the trip.. they had a bit of this spice, and a bit of that… almost enough to fill a basket.  But… But in the end… it appears they ran out of Thyme.

Yes.  That is how I think it happened.  And of course, dinosaurs can’t swim.

The old saying goes….. Variety is the spice of life.  But not so much… in this case.

I promise not to go on and on about this.

But I have been affected greatly the past week, or so.  My life has been touched, again and again, with an outpouring of love and kindness.  From friends, family, acquaintances….  even dogs.

You see…. Each day I am stopped in my tracks, by some person’s gift from the heart.

I cannot thank you enough.  Every one of you.  It has meant a great deal to me.

And it continues.

Yep.  Tonight, when I got home from moving some furniture with my sibs, and a visit with my Mom… I stopped to open the mail.  I peeled back the flap of a bulky envelope.  Inside….  a hand made note… from a little girl with an incredibly kind heart.

I stood in the kitchen and cried.  For a hundred different reasons.

Oh. What a world we live in.
And how very lucky we are…. to experience its goodness and blessings.

Tonight, I think I shall write an enthusiastic letter, to my friend the Tooth Fairy…. on this young lady’s behalf.  Yep.  She’s got a big heart… but she is dropping teeth faster than a cheap comb.

“Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.” – Scott Adams

Food cravings are a bit of a mystery aren’t they?  All of us have experienced them at some point in our lives. I mean.  Who hasn’t been watching The Werewolf and Frankenstein Invade Syracuse, at 2 o’clock in the morning, and had an overpowering craving for a Limburger Cheese and Mayonnaise Sandwich?

That’s what I’m talking about.

I tried to research this a bit today, and most experts agree, Cravings can be caused by a number of things.  Yep.  The guys in the lab coats don’t have a pinpoint quite anywhere.    They say these reasons might include a hormonal imbalance (depression, irritability, or mood swings); or cravings due to attempted weight loss; or an adrenal imbalance  (stress, feeling anxious much of the time, bouts with  insomnia), etc.  Or it could be the House of Capricorn rising in Libra.

The medical and scientific articles go on and on about this holy crap.  I am not sure if any of it is right or wrong.  But one thing is for sure… today I had a serious, serious craving.

For carrots.  Yep.

Carrots.

Not just any carrots, but fresh, cooked carrots.  I bet I ate a pound of carrots today.  Freshly picked right from the produce section…. and lightly cooked.

Who knows why, really.  I mean, the Medical Industry has thrown speculation all over the place.  Their ability to avoid definitive answers is impressive…. to say the least.
But I have to ask the obvious.

What’s Up Doc?

“It is better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.” – Gerard Patrick Roeling