Aggie Barnhart and Mabel Alcorn were sitting around the Hen House one afternoon.  Doing what they do.  Aggie was working a crossword puzzle.  Mabel was carving little replica statues of the Easter Island heads.  Hens have to do such things to pass the time.   While laying eggs.  You see…. each of the roughly 280 million laying birds in the U.S. produces from 250 to 300 eggs a year.  By my math… that is about 75 billion eggs a year.  AND…. if you can believe… that is merely  about 10% of the world supply.  That is a whole big bunch of eggs.  And clucks.  Eggs-actly.

So back to the Hen House.  There they were, old Aggie and Mabel, biding time between pushes.  It was nearly 6 p.m.  Again you see….  most eggs are laid between 7 and 11 a.m.   And as you might guess… these things take time.  A hen requires about 24 to 26 hours to produce an egg.     No rest for the weary either.  After the egg is laid, the hen starts all over again about 30 minutes later.  Pretty egg-streme.

But you can only do so many crossword puzzles.

MA:  Aggie, do you want to put in a DVD?
AB:  Sure Mabel.  What do you want to watch?
MA:  Ohhhhhh….. let’s watch Chicken Run.
AB:  Mabel… we have watched Chicken Run 23 times.  So help me, I cannot sit through that movie again.
MA:  But it is such a white-knuckler.  I love a good action-adventure!
AB:  No Mabel.  How about Casablanca?
MA:  Chicken Run.
AB:  Hmm.  What do you think about watching Star Wars?
MA:  Chicken Run.
AB:  Okay, what about The Godfather?
MA:  Chicken Run.
AB:  Psycho?
MA:  Chicken Run.
AB:  Quit being such a stubborn old hen.  I swear, if I had a deep fryer… I’d… I’d……
AB:  Oh…. I would…. ….  …..  umph……..
MA:  Aggie… you know….. YOU are a real Mother Clucker.

Mabel and Aggie watched Chicken Run that evening……  in silence.  Even hens gets their feathers ruffled from time to time.   But.   If you can’t say something nice… it is best to keep your beak shut, I suppose.

And despite it all.  Like good hens.  They laid eggs the next morning at 7:08 and 9:01, respectively.

Thankfully.

Breakfast.

And finally… Mark Twain once said….“Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.”

Clearly…. Twain never tried to pass a bowling ball through the opening in his rear end.  My guess is….. he too…. would cackle as if it were an asteroid.

Even though you come equipped with your best shield and helmet… and even though you may be carrying  the biggest stinking axe that you own…..

Something just might sneak up on you and catch you by surprise.

Or it could be… that just maybe… you just been playing Lego’s too long.

“Your current safe boundaries were once unknown frontiers.” – Unknown Quote

Sometimes in nature, things seem so incredibly perfect, and well formed. The ultimate in construction or design.  Looking closely at most anything…. a flower, a spider web, the veins of a leaf.   Or you can go larger, if you wish.  The rugged mountains and natural lakes in Glacier National Parks.  The red cliffs of Zion.  The clouds up in the sky.  All of these things…. I am telling you…. they are amazingly fabulous.

And then.  Nature craps on us.  A tornado rips through a town.  A snow storm blasts a region.  Hurricanes.  Earthquakes.

For a long, long time now … I have worried about those things.  I often say I am a lot like Chicken Little.  My friends always chuckle and shake their heads when I’d do my Chicken Little impression….. running around the room… grasping my head… yelling…. “The sky is falling!  The sky is falling!”

Well Holy Crap-o-moley.  Guess what happened after all that time?

The sky fell, hit Russia…. and hurt 1200 people.

Now… I do not wear the badge of Chicken Little proudly.   I wish I could keep my feathers from getting ruffled.  I hate ruffles.  They make my butt look big.
You see….. it might be best if I quit looking at the sky…. waiting for it fall… and focus more on the little, beautiful treasures…. that exist all around me.  Every day.

I know for sure that what we dwell on is who we become.   – Oprah Winfrey

Sometimes, when a little patch of fog rolls in across the farm land… just as the sun is setting…

One has to step back, and….

Breathe it in deep.  Just breathe it in deep.

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity.” – Albert Einstein

Many people haven’t been lucky enough to see an all-out Competitive Cow Race.

I love a good Cow Race… I’ll tell you that much right now.  Those Bovines sure are cut-throat when it comes to a fierce race.  And I mean fierce.

But after the race… they kick off their little track shoes… all four of them…. and hang out in the rotten corn field together.  They talk about the last lap.  They recount the good old times in the barn yard… when they were just a little faster.  A little stronger.   They lament the fact that they’ve lost a step.  That the old udders are hanging a little lower these days.  They tell “Got Milk” jokes.  And laugh, and laugh. And laaaauuuuuggghhhhhh.

It just doesn’t get any better than this.

“One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.” – J. Billings

“Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.” – Charles Chaplin

The best thing to hold on to in life is each other.  -Audrey Hepburn

Life is full of great stories.  They come to us in many ways.  So tonight.  I have a fine story about my Mom & Dad.  This, on the Eve of Valentine’s Day.   You see, my Mom & Dad are still very much in love at the age of 90.  Cute in love.  Loopy in love.

Not so very long ago, they changed their place of residence.  Until recently, they had been living on their own in a condo.  Now they reside in an Assissted Living Facility.

The other day, in the Dining Room during lunch, another woman joined us. Another resident.  Her name is Esther.  I made a joke about she and I sitting together, and being Polly Esther.  She smiled politely.

Anyways.

Esther… a youngster at 86…. was friendly and engaging. The four of us were having nice conversations about growing up in Dayton, Ohio.

Midway through the meal, Mom reaches over, and pats Dad on the arm.  She says to him… “I love you Paul.”  Dad smile back and returns the affectionate exchange.  Then… Mom looks Esther squarely in the eye…furrows her brow….  and says… “You know, Paul and I have been happily married for 66 years.”

Now I don’t know about you… but I can read between the lines.  And I guess she told Esther, right then and there.

Esther has not joined us for lunch since.

Yep.  Mom & Dad are still so very much in love.  After so many years.  Their first kiss was on Valentine’s Day in 1946.  They were married a year later… on the 15th of February.   It is amazing to see two people so crazy about one another… after nearly 7 decades.  Most would say.. that it is amazing that they are still so in love… in spite of it all.

Yet… I think they are still so happily together… BECAUSE of it ALL.

“Love is composed of one sole inhabiting two bodies.”  -Aristotle

Do you ever have one of those days when you just stop in your tracks, shake your head back and forth, and say… “Well holy crap.  Today must be “Bat Shit Crazy” Day… and I forgot to mark it on my calendar.

It is reminiscent of being square in the middle of “You’re on Candid Camera”… but the thing of it is… you are NOT on Candid Camera.  The day lops along from one mishap to the next…. from obscure and unexplained phenomena dropping from the sky… an amalgam of mysteries and riddle….

Oh, you know.  When you pass a woman in a building.. she lies down on the floor… and begins singing The National Anthem at the top of her lungs.  What the heck? AM I supposed to go prone… cross my heart… and wait until she’s finished…OR…..  do I stand and face the flag … or keep on walking … WHAT DO I DO?

There is no full moon tonight.  Not even close.   Explanation?  Bat shit crazy, I’ll tell you.

Peter Jennings on the evening news announced… “And this just in.  We have found out that the Pope had a pacemaker before he became Pope.”

Pete.  This means WHAT to me?  This means what to anyone, any where?   Papal’s are prohibited from pacemakers implants?  Say that 10 times fast.  Holy City!

Today, some different friends also reported various information my way.  Like….

A typical person in the United States uses approximately fifty-seven sheets of toilet paper each day.  Thanks for the update, Stan.

All the people in the Meijer Store act like they all have a miserable existence.  Yup.

And here’s a good one….  Rogaine and Viagra were discovered by testing potential blood pressure medicines.  Picture that test lab.

Yep.  The the radio stations are full of static today… the world has gone Bat Shit Crazy.

All of the semi-truck drivers on I-70 decided to do a throwback tribute …… to the old 70s movie “Convoy”….

Just when I thought that nothing more could upset… or surprise me…. I find out…..

Advertising is a big deception.

Yep.  There used to be a commercial on TV about pollution in  the United States  This was years and years ago.  An Indian stood overlooking the beauty of the American landscape, only to witness the careless actions of today’s society… throwing all things polluted everywhere.  The Crying Indian….. Iron Eyes Cody, in those famous anti-pollution TV commercials, was actually an Italian-American named Oscar DeCorti.

And… there’s no real cheese in Cheetos.

I’m telling you.  It is all off kilter.    The gravitational pull on the earth is terribly out of whack today.  The second hand on the clock is jumping one second back and two forward, for every tick of the tock.  The bear quit pooping in the woods….. and the fat lady lost the sheet music.

“The clumsiest person in the world can tackle a pony.” – My Fortune Cookie… tonight.

Obviously, this is not a photo of a green tomato.  I took this some time ago.  I am not sure what it is… exactly.  But I can tell you what it looks like… just by seeing it.

And so.

Sometimes, what I would like to say… has already been said.  And by people a lot smarter than me.   So tonight, I will not try to reinvent the green tomato.

“Strange is our situation here upon earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to a divine purpose. From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: That we are here for the sake of others…for the countless unknown souls with whose fate we are connected by a bond of sympathy. Many times a day, I realize how much my outer and inner life is built upon the labors of people, both living and dead, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received.” – Albert Einststein

“When you have come to the edge Of all light that you know And are about to drop off into the darkness Of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or You will be taught to fly” – Patrick Overton

I am who I am.  This is so… and this is true…. due in large part to numerous people in my current life… and countless others who have gone before me.  I am shaped by all of those beings, in some way or another.  I am me….. because.
Because of this unending cycle of the all of it.

This morning, I took my brother to the airport.  He went back home to Seattle.  It made me sad.  Last week, my sister flew back home to Montana.  That made me sad too.

Ed. Sue.  If you are reading this… I love you.  And I miss you.

People come in to… and go out of… our lives.  Continually.  We know people on so many different levels.

The person across the counter at the Dry Cleaners, for instance.  You may see them once a month.  Or… you could bump into someone on the street, and say, “Pardon Me.” and be on your way.  Here, and gone.  Like that.

Yet.  We have acquaintances.   Friends.  Amazing friends.  Family.    Yep.  We know people on numerous… and varied gradations… and for different lengths of time.

Some people we know from the day we were born.  Now… I don’t remember looking up at them the first few days I was born, but I am pretty sure my brothers and sisters were looking back at me.  My Mom.  My Dad.   They all probably touched my forehead, or kissed my cheek.  I’m pretty sure of it.

Yes.  There are bonds we have with people.  Some are like Super Glue.  Others…. are like three-month-old Scotch Tape.

The strong bonds are there for good reason.  It may be the things that those people have done with us, for us, or because of us.  It may be words we have shared, spoken and heard.  It is certainly the look in their eyes.

But mostly… I think… it is how we feel when we are around them  It is how we feel, because of them.  Collectively.

I know I am pretty lucky to have a life… so blessed… with so many good people.  Kind people.  Wise people.  Loving people.  Funny people.    Sometimes I don’t feel worthy… or deserving of this incredible gift.  But I sure am thankful.

“If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive in this moment. Each is present in your body. You are the continuation of each of these people.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

My brain feels full of horse feathers tonight.  So I may as well give in and talk about them.

I think horses are pretty amazing beings.   Heck.  The best commercial of the Superbowl was the Clydesdale Horse Commercial.  I cried at that dang segment.
But horses.  There is only one species of horse on the planet.  Yet… within that species are more than 500 different breeds…. everything from cart pullers to thoroughbred racers.    No matter the horse… they have many things in common.  All of them are grazers.  Herbivores.  They are strong, fast, and smart.

Since I mentioned  the subject of racing…. I love a good horse race.  There is really something about seeing that competitive nature which comes through when a few horses get together for a lap around the track.    My favorite race is the Kentucky Derby.  This might be so because my Mom always made a big deal about it when I was growing up.  Yep.  I love the Derby.  I think it is the hats.

A thing of interest…  Only 3 Fillies have won the thing….  Regret, Genuine Risk, and Winning Colors.  Girl Power.

The Derby started way back in 1875. Fifteen horses were entered that year.  The winner of that race was Aristides.  The little rabbit didn’t get any roses in the winner circle.  (That started 11 years later).   Just a pat on the back.   And of course… the prize money was $2850.

Enough about the Derby though.  I think a good work horse is every bit as amazing, beautiful, and smart.

I bet you horses get along… for the most part.  I’ve never seen two argue.   I bet the different breeds don’t protest one another, or have prejudice against each other.  I bet they just see a horse.. when they see another horse.  Grazers.  All of them.

We could probably learn a thing or two from a horse.  Whoa.

Finally…  As if horses haven’t made you happy enough…..THIS is right from the horse’s mouth……..

Some recent news reports about horses.  One from Boise, Idaho…. the other from Butte, Montana.

In Idaho…. there was a horse that entered into a movie theatre.  One of the workers walked up to it… and said… “Hey there now.  Aren’t you a horse?”  The horse nodded and said yes.  So the guy says…. “Well…. what in tarnation are you doing at the movies?” The horse looked at him… rolled his eyes… and replied, “Well…..I really liked the book.”

And Montana…..  There was an incredibly devout cowboy who worked on a ranch.  One day, he lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.  Wouldn’t you know it?  Three weeks later, a horse walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took his precious book out of the horse’s mouth….. raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the horse. “Your name is written right inside the cover.”

“Anything you’re good at contributes to happiness.”  – Bertrand Russell