How are the politicos in your part of the country? I don’t know about you, but down here in South Carolina right now…. things are pretty crazy. Crazy. With a capital C.

The Republican Primary is in full swing here. The primary vote takes place on January 21st. This week, I’ve had phone calls from Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum and Rick Perry. At first I thought it was for real… then my blonde little head figured out they were recordings.

“Hello. This is Mitt Romney, and I’m calling to talk to YOU about the upcoming vote.”
“Mitt… hey it is me Polly… quick question. How’d you get the name Mitt? Did you play baseball when you were a kid? Or….were you always pulling hot things out of the oven? …why the name Mitt?”
… at which point… the recording kept rolling… and I realized it wasn’t really him.

Yeah….well….. At any rate, things sure are busy here. Ad campaigns, telemarketing slants, commercials, signs, church visits, baby kissing, the whole shebang. But the thing of it is… how do you believe any of them?

Now, I’m not saying who I’m voting for. Because truth be told… I haven’t made up my mind yet. November 2012 is a long way off. A lot can change in the world between now and then.  And frankly, I will listen to a good idea about how to make this country a better place… right up until the minute I punch that little hanging chad right off its hanger.

But these guys sure do hire great fiction writers. Oh the stories they spin in their commercials.  Funny…. really. You just have to realize that most of the “ad campaigning” is…. gibberish, patter, evasion….. a load of crap.

It is sort of like this.

When I was a kid, I loved Popsicles. I was crazy for them. But not just any. Nope. I loved the orange ones and the red ones.

Now, some years later… I don’t eat Popsicles at all. I have no interest in them. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I’ve had one. It has been at least 30+ years.

So if I were running for President.. here is how it would spin.
Black TV screen. My name slowly fades in….
“Kronenberger. She can’t make up her mind. She used to support Popsicles. She claimed she was a Popsicle advocate. She voted again and again in their favor.  Stood in long lines for them.

And now? Now? She has turned her back on them. Kronenberger’s views have melted away…. and today… she wouldn’t vote to have EVEN ONE.

Is this the kind of person you want for president? If Kronenberger will flip-flop on the Popsicle issue, what will she do in the Oval Office? Don’t let her stick it to YOU.  Put a freeze on Kronenberger.”
Then a horrible picture of my face comes on screen, and fades to black again. Then… the blurb… “Paid for by the Committee for a Red, White, and Blue American Way”

Oh. It will only get worse folks. Super Tuesday isn’t until March 6th. My prediction is that this whole primary will go back and forth and back again. No shoe-ins yet.

So, until November… like eating a popsicle… most of this is going to suck. You may even get a headache… if you take in too much, too fast. PBF.  Political Brain Freeze.

Happy Election Year.    Don’t touch that dial.