There are certain things I really enjoy more than others. The things that bring about the cause and effect of satisfaction. Like a manual can opener. I never cared much for the electric kind. When we were kids, the girl down the street got her finger caught in one. I am not sure about the logistics of how it happened, but it turned out to be a rather nasty incident for her. That crazy old Loretta down the street … with the chewed-up index finger.

But dang it. I digress, once again. Yes…. back to hand crank can openers. I like them. I make a little challenge game out of opening cans with them. If I open the can perfectly, with out the pesky “hang-on-point” that sometimes occurs… well… it is big news for me. I do a little happy dance in the kitchen when it happens.

And this is when you know you are getting old and boring. How sad is that? I make challenge games out of opening cans. Pathetic.

My Grandma Wehrman had dementia when she hit her 80s. She used to cut up brand new bath towels for no good reason. The other day I was cutting up some old t-shirts and making them into rags. It hit me right there and then…..”Oh my gosh. This is probably how Grandma Wehrman got started.” Yes….. all of a sudden….. I can hear the unmistakable sound of arteries hardening.  It sounds very much like thick mud dripping from a faucet.

But you see…. all this talk makes me wonder. As far as my height and stature go… I am about a medium build I would say… on the adult scale of things. I wonder if human aging works like dog aging.

For those of you who aren’t familiar…. little dogs tend to live longer than big dogs. Today we took our dogs for a walk…. and little Maxine literally ran all the way to the Hazel V. Parker Dog Park. I had to trot along the entire time. It was very cute. Our little Moxy Maxine is 12 years old in human years. For a little dog her weight…. that equates to about 68 years. Now if she were a large Lab…. that would be about 80 years old.

I wonder if it works the same for humans…. or any other species for that matter.

I have a point to all of this… I’ve just forgotten what it was.  In fact…. I think it best if I just go on up to bed now.  But before I do…… ….

…. Have I ever told you all how much I enjoy a good-old-fashioned manual can opener? I play this little game when I open cans….

____________________________________________

Three Sisters
Three elderly sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, shared a house together. One evening, the 96 year old sister went upstairs to take a bath. As she put her foot into the tub, she paused. Then she yelled down to the other two sisters and asked, “Was I getting in the tub or out?”

“You dern fool,” said the 94 year old. “I’ll come up and see.” When she got half way up the stairs she paused. “Was I going up the stairs or down?”

The 92 year old sister was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of tea and thought, “I hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.” She shook her head and called out, “I’ll be up to help you both as soon as I see who’s at the door.”
__________________________________________________