I try to be positive here. You know… keep it light. I try not to discuss my politics or religion. And when I write, I attempt to find the good side to the story. The older I get, the more I strive to do this in life too. You see, I admire those people who are very peaceful and sublime. The compassionate.  The non-hypocrites of the world.

But the truth of the matter is…. I am a little whirly-gig of whirlwind inside. The not-so-dormant volcano. I am just a strand of dynamite sticks, waiting to be ignited… and implode the helpless-old-shell-of-a-building-set-for-demolition. Yep. That is me.

This time of year undoubtedly seems to bring it out in me. People…. can really bug the holy-heck out of me. The ones on the war path to have a Merry Christmas…. AND let nothing stand in the way. My compassion files out the window. My Chi goes to the dark side.

Oh….. the people with……the kazillion gifts to buy.. and then to wrap. The family gatherings they HAVE to attend.  (Like a “Sentence” to a high crime.)   The meals to shop and fix.. the messes to clean up… and complaining all the way. Over the river and through the woods… Hang on to your sleighs. I’ll tell you.

I read a blog the other day… and the woman went on for days about her hatred for the “Elf-On-The-Shelf” tradition in their household … and how she is a horrible “Elf-On-The-Shelf” mom, and how hard it is to keep up with all of this… and blah, blah, blah…..

Oh sure. (It was funny to read about her pity-party-plight.) But I say to her……   “Lady, YOU put the stupid elf on the shelf in the first place.   And as My mom used to say… you made your bed, now lie in it.”   I totally get it now Mom.

Another thing that bothers me is the people who become comatose in public arenas… specifically shopping areas. It is like someone started a intravenous morphine drip right there on the spot. Aliens swept down and transformed their brains into tapioca pudding. THEY become the ONLY person in that store. Today, I shopped for the holiday groceries…. for a family gathering.  The supermarket was packed like sardines.

And in aisle four… a young couple decides to attach… and make out.. completely blocking the aisle with their cart… and bodies.   The ensuing display of slobbering public affection was ….  …  embarrassing. Yes. Right there in front of the Keebler Elves and their Townhouse Crackers.  So….I politely asked…” Excuse me. Do you think I could pass around you?” Their faces briefly unlocked… albeit still connected by spittle. They looked at me with disdain. Obviously, my request interrupted that magic moment. I just smiled as I edged past them.  BUT….. inside…. I am SCREAMING……”Get a flippin’ room.”

Another.  The weather people.  Not the ones on TV.  The ones who want the snow.  Oh sure.  It is “purty as purty can be”… ON THE FRONT OF A CHRISTMAS CARD.  But the reality of Ohio snow is this:  It gets cold as all get out.  We get more ice than actual snow.  Everything turns grimy black-gray sludge in just a day or two.  Then it freezes over….  and it makes it nearly impossible to avoid cars… filled with the VERY SAME PEOPLE who had the spontaneous morphine drips at the Walmart.  I would rather be singing in the rain, thank you very much.

I’m sorry. I apologize. I am a big old grump tonight. Who knows exactly why. But I think that the most likely reason of all…… May have been that my heart was two sizes too small.

I guess me and the THAT Green Guy have to get our acts together soon… He and I have a lot it common, it seems.  We both have dogs named Max.   However…. now… we just need to get our calm back.  We need to get our Mojo on.  Oh to find that “Happy Place”……   or get the heck out of Whoville.

And what happened then…? Well…in Who-ville they say
That the Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day!
And then the true meaning of Christmas came through,
And the Grinch found the strength of ten Grinches… plus two.

May the Force Be With Us ALL……