All the good newspapers have “advice” columns. They come in various forms and flavors, but a true news broadcasting effort is not complete without that “feature” of hints, tips, opinions, and pointers.

So, I’ve asked some pretty famous folks to assist me here…. with such a column.  Until we get this right,  we have not “arrived” in the world of journalism.

Dear Advice Column is what we will call it… until someone out there helps me with a better name.

Dear Advice Column,
People at work have been telling stories about me around the water cooler. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Victim of Rumors

Dear Victim,
Always remember… “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”
Sincerely,
Oscar Wilde

Dear Advice Column,
I like to burn candles at the dinner table, but my husband thinks it is silly. Don’t you think it adds atmosphere to the evening meal?
Sincerely,
Waning for Wax

Dear Waxy,
“We will make electricity so cheap that only the rich will burn candles.” Flip on the lights.
Sincerely,
Thomas Edison

Dear Advice Column,
I think people who are interested in history are dull. What is the point?  History is boring and… ha, ha, ha…. in the past.
Sincerely,
The Dull Buster

Dear Dull,
“Study the past if you would define the future.”
Sincerely,
Confucius

Dear Advice Column,
I just had my 40th birthday, and I am feeling older than dirt. Any advice for the old and decrepit?
Sincerely,
Creaky

Dear Creakster,
“Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.”
Sincerely,
Billie Burke

Dear Advice Column,
I love my GPS in my car, but sometimes it gives me the wrong directions. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Lost in Yonkers

Dear Yonkers,
“You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.”
Sincerely,
Yogi Berra

Ahhhhhh.  We have arrived.