In Aesop’s famous fable… the one about the bunny and turtle…. I would be the rabbit. I have what is classified as a Type A Personality. The other day, my nearest and dearest friend made this observation about me: “I would say Polly is a very patient person….. except in traffic.” I had to laugh out loud.
To me, this is only partially true. You see…..I don’t think I am a very patient person when it comes to A LOT of things. Traffic is only one of many. Many. But since we are right here on the subject, things that really bug me when I am driving a vehicle.
1. Anyone who does not pay attention to what they are doing while driving. This includes applying makeup, beating children in the back seat, and talking out the window while other cars are waiting behind.
2. Green Light Apathy. This is at epidemic levels. It encompasses anyone who does not hit that gosh darn gas pedal when the light turns green…. especially when a green left turn arrow is involved.
3. The list goes on… pretty much endlessly. But here is the biggest: TEXT MESSAGING WHILE DRIVING. Just say no. Typing “Wht r u doing?” on your “smart” phone is FAR less important than the four lives of the people in the car in front of you. 4 real.
Enough about my inner road rage.
Another example of my missing patience: Today we went to a movie… the kind at a movie theater. The newspaper listing, the theater’s website, and the sign on the front of the building said “SHOW TIME 11:00; 2:45; 6:00. Now to me… this means that the show should start at the time posted… for example…. 11:00. Show. Time. NOT PREVIEW TIME. Holy crap-a-doodle. We sat through 25 minutes of trailers.
I stood up at 17 minutes into the preview schematics and loudly polled the rest of the movie-goers…. “Is any one else here ready for the gosh darn movie to start?” Five of the six people in the theater were in agreement. One said… “Well…..in just a minute. I have to run to the john.” Yep. I was pretty p*ssed off too. An usher came and asked me to step down from my seat. So I watched the rest of the previews in seething silence.
I understand that I am the one with the problem. I suffer from I.G.A. “Instant Gratification Affliction” Mostly, I want things to happen right here and right now…. mostly. Or ten minutes ago.
These days… I seem to be slightly better. Breathing exercises, prayer, and mediation help. But much of the time… not nearly fast enough.
I think this is because I am the youngest of seven children. It all started when I was an egg in the ovary, and the rest of the eggs kept bumping me out of the way…. which really explains a lot. (I’m a little cracked, too.)
…you mean we were all just bumping around and who ever got to the tube first, went out? I thought we were all lined up, nice and neat, waiting our turn to go. So life is not predestined !!!! To learn this so late in life is A) annoying B) sad C) confussing D) exhilerating.
What answer would you pick?
So my wife says; “I found someone just like you!” And that I need to read this article on the internet. LOL
Hmmm. Let me say that from my point of view you do not have a problem (ok maybe wearing a monkey on your head in the south but I mean that is small stuff). We do not have a problem; we are surrounded by slow moving, slow thinking sheeple zombies.
This has to do with dumb asses hurrying to pull into the mall and then stopping at the entrance while we are stuck in the middle of approaching traffic while they sit there with a dumbfounded look as though they have no idea how they came to be there or where they are going. Cannons should come standard on our vehicles so as to enable us to remove faulty DNA from the gene pool of humanity.
One time we were coming back from Muncie with some guy in front of us that would weave left of center, on to the berm and speeds up and slows down. Followed him for miles before there was a long enough clearance to pass and this guy was reading the newspaper. The paper paper, spread out to full width and covering the steering wheel. Canons, I tell you that is the answer.
And another thing, I’d like to get a hold of the person that disabled the skip for previews on DVD’s. If I rent or buy a DVD it is for the movie not the darn previews. What the heck good is it to put the length of time for the movie on the box when it is a complete crap shoot not knowing how long the dang previews will take. If it says 90 minutes and I put it on at 9:30 then the movie should be done at 11:00.
Other than that I am pretty easy going.
We’re the sane ones, we’re just outnumbered.
Heck it ain’t even close. 🙂
One more thing, first born here. Not big on waiting in line.
Hi Eddie,
Well…. now that I think of it…. maybe we all WERE lined up in a row. Waiting. Waiting.
Which would explain a lot about my patience issues… in a whole ‘nother light.
Love you bro!
Oh my gosh Jeff. YOU are hilarious… in so many ways.
I swear we were brother and sister in another life…..
“We are surrounded by slow moving, slow thinking sheeple zombies….”
LOL.