Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.  With that said….

Please let me introduce you to Alfred.

Alfred Slobberedon.

He is my newest pally in my arsenal of sock monkeys.  He came to me yesterday.   Alfred was saved by a couple of dear friends…. who are golden to the core.  They knew I took in wayward sock monkeys, so they brought him by.  We signed papers concerning his adoption.  At that point, we were conducting Monkey Business.

Apparently, they rescued Al from his wicked step-mother-monkey…. She kept him in a little cage…  and told him he’d never evolve into anything.  He gets chronic headaches now.  Aspirin seems to help his little weary primate head.

When my friends dropped him by, Alfred became the primary interest of our two terrier-type dogs.  Unfortunately for him….they slobbered on him relentlessly, and chewed his left nostril off.  Thankfully, I had a Black Sharpie Marker on hand, and put his nostril back.  He can breathe much easier now.

I’ve been trying to make him feel comfortable here… playing games and such.  We tried “Simon Says” but he likes “Monkey See. Monkey Do.” a lot more.   But we play a lot of different things.  You know, we mostly just monkey around.

I like the little guy.  Through it all, he has kept a great attitude.  He likes swinging in the rain.  He also enjoys riding around on my shoulders.  But, regrettably,  it makes me feel like I always have a monkey on my back.

He wanted me to tell you his favorite joke tonight… so here it goes.  (Its about Monkey Bars.)

————–

A woman and a monkey walk into a bar.

The bartender says, “Hey!  Where’d you get the pig?”

The woman says, “That’s not a pig, that’s a monkey.”

The bartender says, “I was talking to the monkey.”

————–

Me and that monkey don’t go into bars, as a rule.  I eat a lot of pork, but I don’t like to be called a pig.  But you know…..I think me and this little monkey are going to be happy together.  Can you imagine?

“I am not nearly so interested in what monkey man was derived from, as I am in what kind of monkey he is to become.”  -Loren Eiseley