Recently, I’ve been wondering if I may be experiencing some strange form of Tourette Syndrome. Now, I am in NO WAY making fun of people who are afflicted with the real Tourette’s. I know that is serious business.

But, to the best of my reckoning, I think I suffer from a strain that I have deemed “Game Show Tourette Syndrome”…. and it is getting worse.

It only occurs when I am looking at a Game Show…. which isn’t very often. And the only “Game Shows” I ever tune in on, are Wheel of Fortune, and Jeopardy.

So there I am, watching… always working the puzzles, and clues… and then it hits. It starts with a bit of a tick. A head jerk. Then, unexplainably and uncontrollably… I yell at the top of my lungs… “What is The Battle of Shiloh?” or…… “Who is Harper Lee?”

Do I have some sort of expectation that the tiny people in the little box on the kitchen counter will somehow hear me? Do I think “John from Des Moines” will ring his little Jeopardy buzzer, and exclaim… “Hang on Alex. I think I am channeling someone from Camden, Ohio….. yes Alex…. I have it now….. ‘What are protons?’ ”

But my affliction continues…. when they don’t get my message, or come up with the wrong answer, I slap my forehead and begin swearing. “I can’t believe the guy said “Railroad TILES”! Holy Sh!t. This guy has crap for brains…. Railroad Tiles… what the holy heck is that??? Has the guy never heard of a TIES… Railroad Ties Dude!…

Pat, Vanna… for crying out loud, DO NOT let him spin that stinking wheel again… DO NOT!  He has oatmeal between his ears….”

When the credits roll at the end of the show, I am miraculously cured…. I do not display this type of behavior in any other faction of my life. Game Show Tourette Syndrome.  GSTS. Pat, can I buy a vowel please?