The thing about “flying the friendly skies” is…. well… sometimes it isn’t always the “friendliest’ of places.

This morning I had to fly. Not flapping my arms wildly. NO….. I used US Airways. Now, I like US Air. No complaints so far…. except for Juwanda. She was our attendant from Charlotte to Charleston. Juwanda didn’t seem too happy to be serving the coffee on this particular day. But that’s not the deal. Most of the time US Air folks seem to be on the ball. Or on the plane. Without the rain. In Spain. (Dang it… there I go again.)

No, today…. I write and complain about what I like to refer to as Airplane Chickens… OR Airplane Roosters… depending.  They are the seat mates that spread their wings all over the place…. hogging arm rests…. reading newspapers WAY past their halves of the chicken house…. bumping you with no regard for your nest…

And the barn yard fun gets even more interesting when they pull out their little Rooster laptops, seeming oh-so-very-important… and begin to hunt and peck as they type. It is like they are foraging for corn kernels in the dirt… scratching and bobbing their heads up and down… hunt and peck….

I just wanted to sit and enjoy my US Airways “Cafe’ Mystique” black cup of coffee, served in the very styling Styrofoam cup….. But NO… “Plane Rooster” had to unfurl his feathers and bump me and my Styrofoam Cafe’  Mystique……(sidebar:  OK… now maybe I DO have an issue with US Air…. and their “Cafe Mystique” presentation.  I am not sure who came up with that brain-child.  I couldn’t begin to tell you what is so elusive and alluring is about this particular cup of java….)  But please… let’s stay on topic here…. back to the Roosters and Chickens.

Roosters & Chickens can’t fly.  Even City Girls know that.  (I watched “Chicken Run” for crying out loud.)  So NOW we know….That’s why the Plane Chickens have to use the airlines….they can’t fly on their own.  My theory?  It is hard on their little egg-hatching egos… so they fluff up their feathers and crowd the others out of the nest.)

Chickens….  good for nothing.

Well, they do lay some decent eggs… which are great with grits and biscuits.  Glad to be back in the south… for now…. because tomorrow morning I am eating Plane Chicken Eggs with Grits and Biscuits.  Paybacks are hell.