For the nay-sayers to Global Warming… let’s just say OK…  You could be right.  Forget the recent increases in frequency & magnitude of things like tornadoes, earthquakes, hurricanes, floods, severe winters, tsunamis….all which have been occurring over the past few years.  Yep, let’s just forget all of that and say the gazillion devastating natural events on the planet are one BIG co-INKY dinky….  just all happenstance lately.

But this part is for real……You see Mother Nature and Mother Earth get together every Friday morning at 7 and just sort of compare notes, go over the week…. plan for the next.   You know, just your typical business meeting.  They tote their little canvas briefcases to one another’s houses.  Typically, they drink ice cold Fresca or Tab…. they are old-school, as you may have guessed.  They like to snack on Twinkies, or Ho-Hos…. sometimes they eat Twizzlers Red Licorice.  Just fun food for these types of meetings.  (SEE Where They Meet….)

One says to the other, “You know Gert.  I’m tired of these humans pissing in our Wheaties all the time.  Throwing cigarette butts out of car windows, mowing down rain forests, blowing smoke out of stacks for no good reason, over-breeding (sometimes inner-breeding)… gosh darn it anyhow…… the whole nine yards Gert.”

“I hear you Millie.”  (By the way, Mother Nature and Mother Earth’s given names are Mildred and Gertrude.  Not some silly Fiona or Fauna or Athena type name… big misnomer.)  Gert and Millie.

Yep. They talk about these things.

“Millie, I say we just give ’em a few rabbit punches to the kidneys… we’ll let ’em know how all of this feels.”

And so it goes.  Our last big oil-spill really tugged BOTH of their boats.   Enough is enough…….., they said.

So, each week, they sharpen their pencils, write notes, make plans, stack up their papers, pack their little satchels….. and get on to business for the week.  As the old Chiffon Margarine Commercial goes…”It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature.”  Or piss in her Wheaties.