Some things just logically follow other things.

April follows March. April never comes after September…. … well, unless you count how years loop around endlessly. Then it will eventually sequence around to September.

Eight follows seven. P follows O. “That” goes right after “This And”.

It goes on and on.

There are simply natural successions in life.

“Hat” follows “A Cat In The….”

Like “Latin” follows “Pig”.

Heck, Facebook even came up with a TimeLine so that I am able to see how pathetic I am, over an elapsing time frame, here on the grand social network.

Siblings.  Train Cars.  Baby Ducks.  And unfortunately, Lemmings and Dodo Birds.

People will follow their noses…. follow their hearts… follow suit…. and even follow in the footsteps of others. As much as I don’t like to… sometimes I have to follow orders.

Some people try to follow instructions…. like….

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.

“I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”

When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds.

“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my instructions?”

The blonde nods.

“I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.”

“From hunger, you mean?” asked the doctor.

“No, from skipping.”

You can find following all over the place. In one of my favorite movies… they followed The Yellow Brick Road.

Some follow sports teams, soap operas, the stock market, religion, clues, or the dots….  A bunch of folks follow celebrities on Twitter.

Follow knows no barriers. Like the dogs chasing the rabbit.

There have been times when people have followed others in the wrong direction. They drink Kool-Aid… and hope to ride on comets… and such. My advice there… just be careful who you choose to follow. Following is not always the best thing to do.

Other times it is the only thing you can do.

Today, I read a good piece of advice. It said something along the lines of this…

Acquire piece of mind by making the effort to become the best of which you are capable. Success will come, as will the self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to be the best you can be.

One thing just seems to follow another there. And that is how it goes.

Everywhere I go… my shadow follows. Maybe that’s why I sometimes feel like I am being followed.

OK…… The truth of the matter is… my “F “L” and “W” keys have been sticking on my computer… so I had to find a word that I could type a bunch… and try to get them unstuck.

So it was either that I wrote about “Follow” tonight… or “Flo Lewis”…. an old friend from grade school.

I don’t remember so much about Flo…. so the whole “follow” thing won out.  The keys are unstuck…. thank you very much.

At any rate, this is the third day of my diet… so I better get back to skipping….

Just following directions.

I know a lot of really great people.  I do not mean to sound swaggering here.  I have just been very fortunate in my life to have met so many fine, fine people.  Both friends and acquaintances.

And speaking of which….. A good friend recently gave me a unexpected gift. It is a deck of “Knowledge Cards” entitled “Animal Spirits.” In the box are numerous cards which depict different animals. Included with each entry is a brief description which offers the possibility of the animal’s ancient spiritual meaning.

It is quite interesting, and some days, I just pull a couple out and read them. But the gist of the “deck activity” is this: When you see or encounter an animal during the course of your day, that interaction has a meaning in your spiritual life.  The bigger picture.

Coolness.

So today I am driving a long, and Sea Gull flies right down from above, and lands in the street in front of the car… and they swoosh… right back up again.

I was thinking about it this evening, and pulled out the deck. The Symbology says… “water, creation, emotions.” It goes on…. “The gull, a creature of the sea and sky, symbolically links the lower earthly world with the upper world of the spirit. It is also a symbol of unrestrained emotion.”

I am not quite sure what it means for me… at this very moment. Or maybe nothing at all.  You see, sometimes I am slow on the uptake.  I can’t even focus on the little pictures, let alone… the big picture.  It could be that I need an eye doctor.  I heard… that after being treated by an optometrist, the bird seed.

…. Sorry…. ….

Today I also saw three dogs.  All the live-long day.   According to the deck… that means “devotion, protection, service.” With three dogs running underfoot…. I get this message every day. It is a good one.  I just try to make sure that my Karma doesn’t run over my Dogma.

…. Dang it.  Sorry again…. …

Most of all, whether I understand the meanings or not…. this whole experience reminded me a life’s beautiful gifts. Friends are one of those incredible gifts.  Friends will laugh out loud with you.  They will also tell you when your puns are just plain irritating…

But back to the bigger picture.  We see these things more clearly, I think, with each passing day.

We have been given the gift of life.

It then becomes up to us to live that life well…. and make the very most of this gift.

… …. ..

Some nights….  I am just unsure what to write….  AND…..

Sometimes all this writing makes me nervous.

Writers under pressure are….. at present, tense.

Oh Polly, stop it.

I try to be well informed.

But there are certain things in life that I just don’t understand. Try as I may. I don’t get why there is such a fuss over this or that.

Okay, you want a for instance? The Miss America Pageants. Those girls go through all the competitions, put on their swimsuits, and their evening gowns, throw flaming batons in the air, and play the flute… and such. Then at the end, they line them up, and ask the big question…. “If you could have anything, what would it be?” ….. …. “Well Bob. More than anything… I would like to have Whirled Peas.”

And then the crowd goes nuts.

Now… is it just because these young ladies are so hungry from all their dieting? And all they can think about is Whirled Peas? Or… are Whirled Peas just that stinking good?

These are the things that keep me up at night.

Okay. While we are on the topic of food. How come at Christmas time… everyone is putting Baby Cheeses into Mangers? Everywhere! It is like some sort of National Trend. Baby Cheeses in this manger…. or in that cradle. Heck… some churches have had their Baby Cheeses stolen from their mangers. I remember hearing something like this on the news….

I don’t get it. I would put my Baby Cheeses in the Fridge.

All right.  Here is another.    Why is there such a foofaraw about all the Violins on TV? I heard an entire news report about the increase in Violins on TV. I like Violins. I even have tickets to the symphony. I think people should give Violins a chance. Cellos, even.  They all can be quite lovely.

Now the latest one that is kind of upsetting to me is the Political Carcasses. I don’t really understand what these are at all. First they had carcasses in Iowa. Tonight, I heard they had yet another carcass in New Hampshire. But you see, this is hitting close to home now.

On the news tonight, I heard the carcasses would be in South Carolina in just under two weeks. Today, I ran into a reporter from CNN. He said he was here early to cover the carcass. Are they finally going to bury it here, and this guy is going to cover it up? Where did all the carcasses come from? Is it an animal carcass of some sort? Or a human? I just don’t know…. and I am worried.

Oh there are many more, in this little brain of mine. But finally tonight, the one that really gets me is all the bother about faxes. Should the faxes be cut, or should they be raised…. should we be faxing the rich, or faxing the poor. Oh my goodness gracious! Does anyone even send faxes any more? I think most people have switched to email, and texting and such. It seems like a lot of buzz about nothing.

I’ll try to lay my head down, and forget about this. But…. I haven’t been sleeping well at all lately. I think it is because all of this worries me so.

Someone told me today that I should try a cup of warrantee before bed.

… again… none of this makes a bit of sense……

I am a dog person.

I have written about my various dog escapades here numerous times… it is true. For those of you who do not love animals… other than the kind that comes on a bun…. please forgive me. I simply can’t help myself. (Oh….yes….. my contradiction of contradictions…. I like the kind that come on a bun too.) But not dogs. Well… unless they are hot dogs with mustard, ketchup, and the works. But dang it… I am getting off track again. You know what the heck I mean.

I am a dog person.

But it is much more than “owning” a dog. As I have come to find out…. I have never “owned” a dog in my life. I’ve shared time with them. When I first started out.. .. …. I thought I was a dog owner. Then I was repeatedly made aware of the fact that we simply coexist.  Sure, I am the human. I have opposable thumbs after all.   I provide a shelter and food and medical care.  But that all was my choice… not the dog’s.

Given their druthers, they would probably live with their real Dog-Mom, in a pack with their birth brothers and sisters, in a world where they could run in green fields, and hunt squirrels, and chickens, and such. They could pee and poop when they wanted, and not on a schedule.  No Sock-Monkey Sweaters.  Those sorts of things.

Humans domesticated them. About 15,000 years ago. I am not complaining. I am glad for it. Because some of my best friends have been dogs. You see….. I am a dog person.

Some folks are strictly people people.
Some are cat people. Horse people.
Bird people. Ferret people.
Some are pot-bellied pig people.
You know who you are….

I finished a book last night called “The Art of Racing in the Rain.” If you are a dog person, you should give it a read. I was deeply affected by it. It reminded me of “beautiful, fragile, unpredictable, wonderful” life. It reminded me of my humanness. It reminded me to love with all my heart… even if it does hurt like crazy sometimes to do it.

I miss my Harley. I miss my Bess. They were both dogs.

I am certain that dogs have a sixth, or maybe even a seventh sense. They know the human spirit all too well. They sometimes listen better than anyone…. even though we can’t form the same words with our mouths.

Ha. And just now. Maxine never comes downstairs to the kitchen when I write at night. This evening, just 10 minutes ago, she hobbled her short little stiff legs down the steps, and asked me to lift her up on my lap. I think she knew what I was writing about. I don’t know how she knew… but she wanted to be near…. right now.

I think she could sense the heavy spot on my heart tonight. She came to ask how I was doing. And what a rare quality that true friends have…. not only do they ask how you are doing…. they wait to hear what your answer will be.

And that, is just one of the one-thousand reasons that I am a dog person.

I know so many.  The other day I met a dog named Zoe. Beautiful, brave Zoe. The Guardian of the Boat. And yesterday, I met Jericho. Frat-House-Throw-Away. Handsome, fast, and strong Jericho. Maggie. Juliet. Toby. Lucy. Raskel. Chief. Pylon. Ted. Each with their own life story, their own little dog-hopes, likes and dislikes. Strengths, and fears.

I could write on for days about the Canis lupus familiaris. Yep.

Dogs are a huge blessing in my life.  And for that….  I am grateful.

Often, I am amazed with people’s brilliance. I mean. How in the heck?

Tonight, I looked up to the night sky over the Cooper River.  And in those stars, I could see Galileo. Yep. Galileo Galilei. He was born in Pisa, of all places. Now I don’t know if the tower was tilting at that point or not.  But why is it…. that everyone thinks of the Leaning Tower when they hear Pisa. I propose we write a new slogan. “Pisa. Home of Galileo. He was smart as a whip.”

Indeed, he was one smart cookie. By golly, I think he WAS the sharpest tool in the shed, and the brightest bulb in the box. A physicist, mathematician, astronomer, philosopher, and inventor. Old Galileo was the “Father of Modern Science” and more.

Galileo had a thing for the stars. Not like the National Enquirer has a thing for the stars. No. He championed Heliocentricism. It was first presented by Copernicus… but Galileo (and Kepler), brought it into the home stretch. But what a notion back then…. figuring that the earth moved around the sun… and not the other way around.

He was condemned by the religious factions for this theory, and more. Pope Urban VIII didn’t like him. He was tried by the Inquisition, and found guilty of being “vehemently suspect of heresy.” House arrest for the rest of his life.

He died on this date, in 1642. He was 77. He wasn’t buried very nicely at the time… because of being a heretic. Pope Urban saw to that.

So years later…. in 1737… they dug up old Galileo and buried him in the main vestibule of the Basilica of Santa Croce. But here is the thing. When they did it… they cut off three of his fingers and also took a tooth. Now… I don’t know why. And… I don’t know what happened to two of the fingers or the tooth.

But Galileo’s middle finger from his right hand is on exhibition at the Museo Galileo in Florence, Italy. It appears he was also the inventor of Flipping Someone The Bird… and now it is on display for all to see….. in Florence of all places.

Oh what a world we live in.

“All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them.” – Galileo (born & raised in Pisa)

Today we took a little walk.

Yes, Mary asked me if I would venture on a little excursion out to Bulls Island today. There were two naturalists to guide our tour, she told me. We would surely see lots of wildlife…. she said.   Bulls Island is part of Cape Romain, and is touted for being a rare federal Class 1 Wilderness.

Ok. Sure.  The NFL Playoffs weren’t going to start until 4 p.m.

So I packed my heaviest pack.  Yep.  I filled the darn thing with bricks.   And grabbed my heaviest camera.  I put on ankle weights…. and strapped on a ball and chain.   And off we went.

On the 40 minute ferry boat ride out to the island, I was presented with the news that we were in for  a 16 mile walk.

Ok. Sure.  As we established last night…. “there is something terribly wrong with me.”

Yet.  It was a beautiful day.   And I perceive myself as being in pretty decent shape. I thought it would all be good.

So we disembarked and started walking.

You begin to wonder what kind of day it is going to be… .. … when the first stop they take us to… is a graveyard.  Is this some kind of warning?  Foreshadowing?  I mean. Don’t stop and show us this place…. for crying out loud.

Oh.  And then……. We walked and we walked.  We walked here, and then we walked there.  People  in the group began chanting… “Someone save us.  Someone save us.”  We forged ahead.

Yet, there were a few really good wildlife sightings.

A bald eagle.

Lots of beach.

Lots more beach.

Reptilian Dudes everywhere.
My Dad taught me never to smile at a crocodile. Good thing these were alligators.  I smiled, grinned, and kahooted at them.  Friendly fellas.

And more beach. More forests. More walking.  We ran out of day to do the full 16 miles.  We had to make it back before the last ferry of the day pulled out.  So by my GPS estimation… we hiked about 13 miles.

I learned a lot of very cool things today.   Like…. Roller Derby girls are tough.  And…. there are no bulls on Bulls Island.

But at the end of the day, we decided that was enough walking.  And, thankfully….  .. … we took a cold boat ride home.  A cold…. but very good, boat ride home.

Our friend Kevin was a graduate of culinary school. We met him quite a few years ago, in Dayton. He was the chef at one of our favorite restaurants. Good old Kevin the Chef. Quite talented, really.

But as it turned out…. his true love was baking. He got an offer from a private estate owner, Vinnie Marchusi, who lived in New Jersey somewhere.  This guy was the Upper Crust, I’ll tell you.  The offer was too good to pass up… so Kevin relocated to Jersey and started baking for this guy and his family.

He loved it. He baked breads, pies, cakes, cookies, rolls…. all sorts of things. Kevin was a nice guy too. He made a ton of friends out there. But he had a tendency to be a little lackadaisical ….. and he shared all his favorite recipes with his new chef friends in Jersey.

But mostly……things were going well for old Kev.   The Toast of the Town.

Then one day… he went missing. Gone.

His employer… Vinnie the Butter Knife….. who we think had ties with the mob…. simply said Kevin ran off with a band of bread-baking gypsies. We suspected otherwise.

As it turns out… an investigation took place concerning Kevin’s disappearance.

The FBI ascertained that “The Butter Knife” didn’t like Kevin giving away his baking secrets. He said he was paying Kevin to bake for HIM and only him. So when Kev kept sharing his recipes at the local pub…. Vinnie decided to make it stop. Kevin had to disappear.

Vinnie finally confessed on the witness stand. His only statement was….

“Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.”

I guess old Kevin shouldn’t have been loafing around.

I mean, the whole situation is just crummy.  No matter how you slice it.  ….At yeast… that’s what I think.

_____________________________

“You know….. there is something terribly wrong with me.”  -Polly C Kronenberger

There are certain things I really enjoy more than others. The things that bring about the cause and effect of satisfaction. Like a manual can opener. I never cared much for the electric kind. When we were kids, the girl down the street got her finger caught in one. I am not sure about the logistics of how it happened, but it turned out to be a rather nasty incident for her. That crazy old Loretta down the street … with the chewed-up index finger.

But dang it. I digress, once again. Yes…. back to hand crank can openers. I like them. I make a little challenge game out of opening cans with them. If I open the can perfectly, with out the pesky “hang-on-point” that sometimes occurs… well… it is big news for me. I do a little happy dance in the kitchen when it happens.

And this is when you know you are getting old and boring. How sad is that? I make challenge games out of opening cans. Pathetic.

My Grandma Wehrman had dementia when she hit her 80s. She used to cut up brand new bath towels for no good reason. The other day I was cutting up some old t-shirts and making them into rags. It hit me right there and then…..”Oh my gosh. This is probably how Grandma Wehrman got started.” Yes….. all of a sudden….. I can hear the unmistakable sound of arteries hardening.  It sounds very much like thick mud dripping from a faucet.

But you see…. all this talk makes me wonder. As far as my height and stature go… I am about a medium build I would say… on the adult scale of things. I wonder if human aging works like dog aging.

For those of you who aren’t familiar…. little dogs tend to live longer than big dogs. Today we took our dogs for a walk…. and little Maxine literally ran all the way to the Hazel V. Parker Dog Park. I had to trot along the entire time. It was very cute. Our little Moxy Maxine is 12 years old in human years. For a little dog her weight…. that equates to about 68 years. Now if she were a large Lab…. that would be about 80 years old.

I wonder if it works the same for humans…. or any other species for that matter.

I have a point to all of this… I’ve just forgotten what it was.  In fact…. I think it best if I just go on up to bed now.  But before I do…… ….

…. Have I ever told you all how much I enjoy a good-old-fashioned manual can opener? I play this little game when I open cans….

____________________________________________

Three Sisters
Three elderly sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, shared a house together. One evening, the 96 year old sister went upstairs to take a bath. As she put her foot into the tub, she paused. Then she yelled down to the other two sisters and asked, “Was I getting in the tub or out?”

“You dern fool,” said the 94 year old. “I’ll come up and see.” When she got half way up the stairs she paused. “Was I going up the stairs or down?”

The 92 year old sister was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of tea and thought, “I hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.” She shook her head and called out, “I’ll be up to help you both as soon as I see who’s at the door.”
__________________________________________________

I believe in Guardian Angels.

I am not talking about the motorcycle gang. Although they do exist. No.

I believe in the ethereal type. I haven’t been reminded of them in a long time. But today I saw a painting…. which prompted all of this.

The story behind the painting is this.

It depicts a woman, kayaking down a stream which is canopied with trees from bank to bank. The sun is splintering through the trees and a light fog is resting on the water. The sunlight is falling every so gently.

There is a large area of heavy mist near the woman…. and in that haze…. there appears to be a figure of an angel. It is a beautiful painting.   The thing of it is…. the painting is a rendering of an actual photograph.

The woman in the painting had breast cancer. Her health declining. Her husband was the artist. On that day… he photographed her kayaking along the river. It was her last time out. She died shortly thereafter. When he reviewed the photographs with his brother, they saw the image of the angel in the mist. So he painted it. And that is what I saw today.

I don’t feel like I am describing it very well here. But the bottom line is… I was reminded of guardian angels. They’ve been with me my whole life. Some might call it luck. Others may say it is simply….. cause, effect, and outcome. They may be right. I can’t say for sure.

But what I feel in my gut is that a guardian angel has had a hand on my shoulder on more than one occasion. I don’t know how it works either. And I can’t explain it.

I can’t really explain infinite space either. But I have read many scientific accounts which detail its existence in our cosmos. There is a lot in life that I can’t comprehend.

I think it would be extremely vain and egotistical of me….. to even expect that my insignificant little speck of a human brain….. could ever be powerful enough to decipher all the mysteries of the universe.

So maybe something “is”…. or maybe it “isn’t”.   But it is our human right…. I think…..

…. to believe.

“You’ll see it when you believe it.”  -W. Dyer

Well, with the New Year comes an innumerable amount of resolutions from people.  I’ve heard them proclaimed in all shapes and sizes. “In the new year, I resolve to….. quit smoking, exercise more, lose 10 pounds, learn French, be a greater success at my job, buy more sardines, build a Lego replica of the Mona Lisa….” … and on and on.

It seems that I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions.  About 10 years ago…. I resolved never to make another New Year’s Resolution.   And by golly. It is the only one I’ve kept.

I’ve gotten a lot of emails asking about my list of resolutions for this year… so here is the bulk answer.
Again. Nadda.

That’s not to say I won’t try to be a better person in the year to come. I make that promise to myself every day. Some times I keep it. Other times…. not so much.  But that is what I shoot for.

It is a bit like driving on snowy or slick roads. The experts always tell you… if you start to spin out…. look toward the direction in which you want your car to go. If you do this… a lot of times you will instinctively steer yourself down the right path to a good outcome. But if you jerk the steering wheel in the opposite direction of your momentum… your spin will continue.  You’re wrecked.

Look to the place where you want to go. That is the direction you will travel. That is where you will head.

I know that when I have ended up in a ditch… is normally my own fault. It happens when I’ve steered myself there.

Stay on the road. That’s my advice to myself. If it happens to be the one that is less traveled… that is okay.  If it is the long and winding one… that is okay too.  Just so long as I stay on it.

So. That’ is my ongoing plan.  Be a better person each day.  To be kinder, more accepting, and to have a generous heart.

….

..  …. ….

.. …. .. especially when I think someone is being a total idiot.   (NOW do you see why I am pretty dreadful with resolutions?)

“Character is the ability to carry out a good resolution long after the excitement of the moment has passed.”
Cavett Robert

“The way out is the way through.”
L. Ron Hubbard