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Well, that isn’t working…… at all. I guess I have to take these things off.

But how in the world is a girl supposed to take off her very first pair of Sock Monkey Mittens?   I have been wearing these things all night.   I am in a state of absolute jubilation… exuberance…. delight.

Imagine my surprise when I opened the gift box and there they were.   All red-mouthed and wooly-cute-as-can-be. I did a happy dance right around the kitchen. Twice. This could be one of my all time favorite presents ever. Ever. My spirits soared. I lit up from the inside out… with an unexplainable childlike joy.  Really.

I’ll tell you though… for all the glory of Monkey Gloves…. they are the dang-dest things to try to type in. It seems I was making no sense at all.  (Well, I guess that is really no different from most nights.)

But back to the mitts.

We had friends over for dinner this evening. (Yummy Arroz con Polo. Mmmmm. )

Wouldn’t you know it?  Here it is around Christmas time, and these two very dear friends came bearing gifts. And one of those offerings were these beautiful mittens. I kinda’ think these people know me.

Yes… good friends indeed. The people who know you…. really, in truly, know you.  And still manage to love you…. even if you are a little loopy….. or all-out-goofy.

I am thankful for them, and… of course for my brand new spectacular Sock Monkey Mittens. Yarn never looked so good. And now… I understand what it means to have friends that are close-knit.

“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked” – Bernard Meltzer

It is that time again.  Yes.  You-Know-What is just a couple of weeks away.  Some years, I love the whole Christmas Season… other years, I can be a bit of a Scrooge.

I think I am less Scrooge-ish in my life than I ever have been. On the other hand…. I don’t go swoopy-in-the-head over decorations, and lights, and that whole deal.

But one thing is for sure…. every year. Christmas time conjures up all sorts of memories.

My thoughts become filled with sugar plums dancing…. cookies baking…. Jack Frost nipping at my nose… all things swirling around “The Magic of Christmas”…..

You know…. When I first learned about Christmas… as a kid… it truly was all very magical. I was first introduced to the story in the Bible about the miraculous birth of Christ. But the story in itself is very intriguing and mysterious. A family traveling in the dark of night, following a star to their destination, kings coming and bearing gifts, the birth of a child in the midst of palm trees, and manger animals. Angels singing. Peace on Earth.

For a little girl in downtown Dayton, Ohio… this was a reverie of images and ideas.

As if that wasn’t enough. Next I learn about the other part of Christmas…. which becomes the “fantastical” part for children in our culture. This guy… jolly and bright… who lives at the North Pole….  And not in just any old house.  His home is trimmed with candy canes, gum drops and icing.  This red-suited man twitches his nose and scooches up and down chimneys  … employs loads of little elves… has flying reindeer… a toy workshop…

At any rate… this guy… it is like he JUST KNOWS if you are naughty or nice. If you behave, you get TOYS! Make a list. Check it twice. Mail it northward, and on Christmas morning… right before a huge breakfast… you get to wake up early and rip into beautiful packages with YOUR name on them.

Fisher-Price Little People.  Rock’Em Sock ‘Em Robots. A 10-in-1 Magic Kit. Leggos. Playdough. Holy Pajamas…. My palms are getting sweaty as I type this.

Yes, revisiting these memories in a wonderful thing.

But amidst all the anticipation, frolic and festivity… there was an incredible sense of happiness, joy, and love in the air.

And it is that feeling…. that hits me… when I see “Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer” on TV… or see a beautifully decorated tree. It warms me through and through.

That magic all comes back. From the very top of the story I learned as a child… all the way down to the bells on the tip of the elves’ little green boots. It is like a big warm hug… which reminds me that there are still a lot of good people in the world. Good people, with noble thoughts and intentions and deeds. Fine people helping one another and showing exceptional acts of kindness. Following that shining star. Doing the next right thing.

That… to me… is the magic of Christmas.

No wonder people start decorating WAY before Halloween.

“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.” -K.Gibran

Wouldn’t you know… doing this Project 368 has a perk from time to time.  On occasion, I am granted an interview with certain “personalities” in the media.  I thought a phone call to Mr. Dan Quayle was in order… since his endorsement of Romney has been heavy in the news.  And guess what?  He agreed to speak with me.  So….  I reprint the phone interview which was conducted in the very early hours yesterday.

______________________________

Polly Kronenberger: Mr. Quayle. Thanks for doing this interview. I truly appreciate your time. I understand you are visiting the Windy City right now. How are things up that way?

Dan Quayle: “It’s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.”

PK: Uhhh. Okay then. Well, Mr. Quayle, for our younger audience, let me remind everyone that you served as the 44th Vice President of the United States, serving with President George H. W. Bush (1989–1993). If you had to describe your vice presidency with one word… what would it be?

DQ: “One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice-president, and that one word is “to be prepared”

PK: I see. Well, one of the reasons I requested this interview is that you’ve recently given your endorsement of Mitt Romney as the Republican Presidential candidate for 2012. Is this correct?

DQ: Well Polly… “This election is about who’s going to be the next President of the United States!”  “This isn’t a man who is leaving with his head between his legs”

PK: That is an interesting perspective sir.

DQ: Please, call me Dan. Or Danny Boy. I like that too.  Or Dan-O.

PK: Do you think Mitt Romney has what it takes to win? To beat Obama?

DQ: “Votes are like trees, if you are trying to build a forest. If you have more trees than you have forests, then at that point the pollsters will probably say you will win.” 

PK: Ohhhhhkaaaayyyy. Yes… well, let’s talk about some of the issues that are on the table… and what may have influenced you in making this endorsement.  How do you think the current taxing proposals of the Republican Party will affect the poor vs. the rich in America?

DQ: “Republicans have been accused of abandoning the poor. It’s the other way around. They never vote for us.” “It shows `us vs. them,’ and I’m on the `us’ side.

PK: Let’s switch to foreign policy. There has been a lot happening in Iraq, Afghanistan, and now, of course, Iran. What are your thoughts about the tension in that area?

DQ: “The global importance of the Middle East is that it keeps the Far East and the Near East from encroaching on each other”

PK: Oh my. That certainly clears things up.   Switching gears sir….What are your thoughts about education? Do you think our current system is failing in this country?

DQ: “We’re going to have the best-educated American people in the world.” Here is the problem… “No more fuzzy math where four plus three feels like seven. It is seven. No more creative spelling either, I’ve tried that and it doesn’t work” “But quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.”

PK: Right. Okay. Ummmm….

Well, Mr. Quayle…. Dan… That is about all the time we have tonight. Any closing remarks you’d like to make before we hang up the phone?

DQ: “The future will be better tomorrow.” “My friends…. no matter how rough the road may be, we can and we will, never, never surrender to what is right.”  “We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not happen”    And just remember… “People who bowl vote. Bowlers are not the cultural elite.”

PK: Thank you sir and goodnight.

___________________________

As an avid bowler…  I say….   Quayle’s right about one thing….    I DO….  indeed… vote.

(**NOTE:  All Dan Quayle quotes are actual quotes given by the former Vice President, throughout is political career.**)

___________________________

Today was a travel day for me… specifically… flying.  Not the flapping-of-my-arms kind.  No.  It was the getting-on-a-big-plane kind of flying.

I tend to get a little irritable as a result. A bit scrappy around the edges.

( — Hang on a second… while I go get my favorite Soap Box out of the closet. Okay.. I’m climbing up on it now…. and… back to the point: —- )

Sure… flying can be a bit of a hassle.

But what gets me the most are some of the people I encounter while on the trek home. The ones that have a healthy heap of entitlement mixed in with their otherwise surly attitudes.

Traveling about the United States…. as we darn well please….  is an amazing freedom. We have lots of freedoms here in America that we mostly take for granted. These have been afforded to us by the resolution of many complicated, and strenuous situations. Mostly…. by service men and women, who have given their lives in our defense and protection.

Now….. I don’t claim to know how it all works.

But today is the anniversary of Pearl Harbor. Two thousand, four hundred Americans were killed in that attack in 1941. This is just one for instance.

So….  .. ….  Back to flying. We are asked to give up certain luxuries… in order to fly. Security Measures. TSA Restrictions.

People get their underwear all bunched up….. over the constraints placed on us during commercial air flight. I have a very simple solution to it.

Don’t fly.

Alec Baldwin got kicked off a plane for not turning off his iPad when the flight attendant asked him for the 6th time to power it down.  Guess what? It is called a rule Alec. The rest of us have to turn off our electronic devices when asked. Either… don’t fly. Or…. turn off the iPad.  (He got off the plane.)

An 85-year-old woman was subjected to a pat down recently. She was absolutely livid about having to undergo such an ordeal. How could the TSA think an 85-year-old-woman is a terrorist?  Bunk, she said. Well…….That’s how it works for everyone lady. From babies to 110. No one is exempt. Either do what they ask… or don’t fly.

It is that simple.

Leave your bottled waters beyond security. Take your shoes and your belt off. Pull your laptop out of your bag… and put it in the tray. Make this huge and incredible sacrifice… huge…. huge….

It isn’t the TSA’s fault that these measures are in place. It isn’t the government’s fault. Not the airlines’ fault. Nope.

And as you are making this noble and tremendous gesture…. complying with these rules of commercial flight….

Try to remember the sacrifices that are given daily… by service men and women of the United States… in protection of our rights and freedoms.  Now that is huge.

This day started as many do. I woke up and flipped on the news. Most mornings… it takes me down a notch, and I’m not sure quite why I keeping tuning in. But I do.

However, as I met with my first cup of coffee, I was given the announcement of this very good news. Yes. It is true. It does exist. Planet Kepler 22b. I always knew it was out there… just a matter of time until they zeroed in on it.  Boy oh boy…. did I ever get a case of Happy Feet…. right there in the kitchen.  I jumped for joy.

I have big theories about this Planet Kepler 22b.  I can’t divulge too much here.  I am planning to reveal all this information in new my book… due to hit bookstores in a light year or two.

Now I know there are plenty of naysayers out there. If you are one, please… go back to reading your Wheaties Box for a few moments. THIS… is a tribute to our sister planet Kepler 22b. Surface temperature…. a balmy 72 degrees Fahrenheit.  Same planetary density as earth..  a good supply of water… nice sun… and all of this in what they call the Goldilocks Zone.

Grab your porridge.  Pack your bags…. and leave a note. Oh sure… I know we will probably never get there in our lifetimes. It is 600 light years away. But just in case… I went out and made some preparations today.

Okay.  I scoped out some good places for a possible launch. Or maybe even a pick up from some nice Kepleranian Space Ship.  Perhaps……a really high church steeple seems like it might be good… or a tall government building. Or both structures… on the same very same block….. such as these.

For the long ride…. Sleeping Berries. Kind of what like Snow White ate… but no wicked queen.  And they sort of taste like apples.  Good for at least a 400 Light Year Nap.

Of course .. … I want to be well received on the new planet.   So….. new shoes are in order. The Alien Variety.  I think the Kepler folks will like me in these.

After much traipsing around, and preparing for the big day… I finally decided to head back to my Earth Home on Meeting Street.

Holy Crap-A-Moley.  I could NOT believe my eyes. It looks to me like I missed the dang boat! Well… space boat.  I came across this construction site… just up the alley from us.  The whole crew… gone….. VANISHED.   Not a soul around.  All they left behind were their picks and shovels.  Oh…. and a few Sleeping Berries.

That is just how it goes. It seems I am always a day late… and a dollar short.

Yep… looks like I missed the bus to Planet Kepler.  But it is probably just as well.  I think I have lots to do here.

(But now I don’t know what to do with these shoes….)

“How we spend our days, is of course, how we spend our lives.” -Annie Dillard

“To infinity, and beyond.” – Buzz Lightyear

So many years, it was the same thing, day in and day out.   At that moment, Jill decided she’d finally had enough. She firmly grasped his arm, and looked at him with a deep sense of concern and purpose. She took a deep breath, and spoke with all the earnestness at her command. “We just can’t do this any longer.  You’ve broken your crown for the last time. Please Jack, put down the pail. Today, we are going to buy bottled water.”

And so it ended on that day.

No more falling down the hill.

No more tumbling after.

Just Evian for ever more.

“There is a woman at the beginning of all great things.”
-Alphonse de Lamartine (1790-1869)

“The beginning is always today.”
– Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley (1797-1851)

“Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.”
– Sandra Carey (present)

Years ago, when I would see someone taking a run… I would call out “Hey lady… is someone chasing you?”  Every time.

Wouldn’t you know it though….. at this point in my life, I run most every day. And no one has chased me in a whole lot of years… I can assure you of that.

But during this physicality… well….. it seems to be my best moments to clear out and think. A lot of times, I just sing in my head. On other occasions, I go through much private introspection.

I have come to realize though, that there are some parallels between the “daily run” and living my life.

One thing that comes to mind during this quotidian routine… is perseverance. Determination. Purposefulness. Gumption.

When I start out on a long run, I sometimes think… “Oh my holy bootstraps. How can I do this today?” But after the first few steps… the action of moving forward ignites me. Halfway through… now… it somehow seems do-able. And finally, when the run is over… I feel really good about the accomplishment.

Therein lies the first parallel in life. “On the mountains of truth you can never climb in vain: either you will reach a point higher up today, or you will be training your powers so that you will be able to climb higher tomorrow.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

I think this is relevant for not only for truth, but also for achieving happiness, awareness, compassion…. life in general.  Or merely completing simple tasks.

The other parallel….. is the miles we’ve left behind us. When I am moving through my run, I will say exactly that to myself…. “Well, that is one mile behind me.” This morning, the statement struck me in a very significant way.

The miles behind us. We travel a lot of distance through our lives. Can we look back, and be proud of who we were on that course?

Did I treat someone with insolence? Unfairly? Has it been a while since I’ve seen one of my friends smile? Was there anyone I overlooked, or did not include? Was I spiteful or angry or vindictive in any way? Am I doing things that I can be proud of, or not? Can I glance over my shoulder and see that I was a loving and compassionate person… a kind individual with good intentions, and consequently good actions? What have I left in my path? Have I shown enough gratitude?

I can’ t change any of those miles on the soles of my shoes. But I can learn from them. How am I going to walk on the road to come?

Wouldn’t it be great if someone approached us,  and said…”I just wanted to thank you… for making this one of the very best days of my life.” ? Or even better… if  we would take the time to thank someone in this way.

So today, and every day… while we are walking those steps through life, I think we should go where we can truly shine.

Not to run because we are being chased.  But moving forward…. with purpose…  to reach that higher ground.
“Goodness is uneventful. It does not flash, it glows.” -David Grayson

And by the way….. I think you rock.

I have come to enjoy certain things about Facebook. I resisted “joining” Zuckerberg’s Nexus for a long time. But now I’ve been using it (loosely) for about 3 years.

As with any communication device or media outlet… it has its advantages and its drawbacks.

I use it mostly to post my daily writing installations and photos. Sometimes I comment on others’ posts… but that is about the extent of it for me.

There is a lot happening at Facebook that I do not understand. I am not saying is either good, bad, right or wrong…. it is just out of my grasp… out of my ability to comprehend.

I am sure there are a lot of people out there who “happen” across my daily post and say the exact same thing….  “Holy Macaroons.  I can’t figure out what the heck that Kronenberger-Chick is yacking about now!”

But nonetheless…. it is a social network. An online community. People coming and going… and being just who they are.  A big cyber-city.   We don’t have to like all of it. And in many cases… I could give a hill of beans either way.

The truth of the matter is… for A LOT of us… a whole LOT of us… … well….. we like it because it makes it easy to by nosy… snoopy… perhaps… inquisitive.  Peeping Toms. Gladys Kravitz’s.  Seinfeld’s Kramer.

It is reminiscent of going to someone’s house and opening the drawers… or peeking behind their shower curtain… oh c’mon…. you know it happens…. WE have become our mothers….

Yes….  somehow it is fun to eavesdrop without being rude. It is the standard. Many will say… “Oh. It is great for keeping up with my friends and family.” So true. It is a wonderful “keeper-upper” tool.

Yet, it also affords us the time and resources to “drop in unexpectedly” on a whole lot of other people too.

Again, I think it is ALL equally okay… it is a community event. People are entitled to do what they may… one of our afforded freedoms here.   But amidst that polite assessment… There are a few “posts” that I JUST do not understand… which then leads me to invent stories about why some people do the things they do in the world of Facebook.

A couple that come to mind: The updated “status” phenomenon. There are some people who write things like: “I’m tired. Going to bed now.” OR “Boy I am hungry. I think I’ll eat lunch.” OR “I’m headed out the door to the mall.”

My invented story: They have a pact with a family tribe, or a small band of people. They have an agreement to keep each other informed about each and every life activity… no matter how large or small. Thankfully, I am now privy to this riveting update… and my day can move forward from this point on.  A celebration may even be called for.

Another one that is a mystery to me is the photograph of a handwritten message on loose leaf paper. These are becoming quite popular and are numerous. Most of the transcriptions are supposed to have a profound life message on them. Some do. And some… are just pretty darn hokey.  My invented story:  People are looking for LARs.  Life Altering Revelations.  They want the answers.

So I have decided from time to time, to make my own little handwritten notes… with my secret discoveries about life and the universe written on them. And like a good neighbor….   I will share them whenever I can.

…. and by the way…  “I’m tired.  I’m going to bed now.”  Stop the presses.

Bandwagon.

In its original meaning, it is kind of a happy word. Bandwagon.

By definition, it is a wagon used for carrying a band in a parade or procession.

These days, most bands walk the parade route. But I guess a century or two ago… if a farm animal could pull something, folks relied on the horse power.

At any rate, the word in that context… projects a positive image in my head. On the other hand.. the “bandwagon” we know best these days is the kind everyone jumps on.

For some reason, this variety bugs the holy heck out of me.

The folks who “jump on the bandwagon” might be better off thinking on their own… maybe… I’m just saying… they should at the very least… consider thinking on thier own.

Okay… I promise I won’t mention Sock Monkeys for a LONG time after tonight. But here’s the deal.  This is a great example of hopping on the bandwagon.

I have liked Sock Monkeys since I was a kid. I had one… old and weathered. He commingled with my other stuffed animals. I named him George. (I was hoping to get a Curious George stuffed animal… but Santa never brought one.) But I cared a great deal for that Sock Monkey instead.

Later in life, I had the opportunity to write the online “Adventures of Dewey” when I worked for the Preble County District Library System. I was the Information Technology Geek… but I wore a few different hats there. Sock Monkey Steward was one of them. How I loved that part of my job.

My attraction to the little button-eyed characters continues to the present…. as many of you know.

But these days… everybody loves the Sock Monkey. I see them on commercials, in stores, modeled as apparel (hats, and gloves, and sweaters, and such)…. big trees of them in Cracker Barrels across the country, Sock Monkey kitchen utensils, puzzles, games, notebooks… Sock Monkey Talk Show Hosts. Oh… it is viral. Or as we used to say in the olden days… “They have become quite popular.”

Other bandwagon items in recent news… Green Bay Packers;   Energy Water;  iStuff;     Housewives of Atlanta, or Beverly Hills, or where ever;  the GOP candidate of the minute;   grits (okay…. NOT grits… I just threw that in to see if you were still reading the list)….

But you get the picture. People can be like lemmings. There are loads and loads of people who just follow the other lemmings off the cliff. And if they survive the fall… they just roll over, and follow the next bunch of lemmings off the next cliff…. again and again and again.

The unthinking.  Heedless.  Imprudent.

Just be careful who you follow… is all I have to say.  Oh, it may just start out with Sock Monkeys… but following could lead to Deception… and that can be bigger than King Kong.  I’ll bet my sock monkeys on it.

“Group conformity scares the pants off me because it’s so often a prelude to cruelty towards anyone who doesn’t want to – or can’t – join the Big Parade.”   – Bette Midler

Today was a travel day for me. Travel days make you think. Especially when you fly.  Air Canada’s Slogan is “Defy Obstacles”…. Now that’s a heck of a thing to make people think about while flying… especially when you are 20,000 feet up.

But needless to say…

When you travel…. certain laws of nature take over… and there is no fighting them really.

Here are my top 3.

1. Things change.  And…. …even if you make like a boy scout and be prepared…  things change some more.

I think being prepared is almost always a good thing. You see, I am so OCD…. I have no choice but to feel this way about life. I prepare like crazy. Case in point: We fly out of Dayton pretty often. There used to be good places to get a morning meal there. NOW… it seems…. there are just no good breakfast spots at Dayton International Airport. The past four trips, I’ve eaten powdered eggs with ketchup on them from Sbarro (what the heck kind of name is Sbarro, for a restaurant anyway….) But back to it… YUK. So, finally today, I wised up and packed a turkey, ham, lettuce, tomato, mayo on white. YUM. Well, don’t you know it…… when I get to the airport this morning… all sorts of breakfast restaurants have sprouted up there. I was prepared…. no doubt. But things changed and then they changed again. When Henry David Thoreau said, “Things do not change; we change.” …. he was kinda’ wrong. Both change. All the time. Sorry Hank.

2. The obnoxious-osidious-monster-person WILL sit right next to you on the plane. Oh yes, they will. Even if there are 40 open seats. I always scope out the waiting area at the terminal, and try to size up my fellow passengers. I guess I shouldn’t do this. I think it brings bad kismet to me. Yes….. the karma-cloud all results from my sitting there imposing all sorts of stereotypes and labels on people I don’t even know. The example here…. there were three loud and offensive (albeit inebriated) individuals who clamored around me in the waiting area. (Singing Hank Wiliams Jr. songs… I think) Drunk AND singing at 7 in the morning. Great. And….. Where did they sit on the plane? You got it. Two directly in front of me and one right behind me. While my suppositions turned out to be correct this time around… I was still encased with a bunch of pickles. Crispy cucumbers.  Oh dilly, dilly.

3. Sir Isaac gave us the next one. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

This is one we all need to remember. Especially people who throw litter out car windows; pee on toilet seats; pitch cigarette butts wherever; cut ahead in long lines of traffic, and food lines; cheat on anything; sneeze on you; hog the arm rest; or act unkindly… just as some random examples. No recaps of the day needed here. I am sure you have the visual.

Yes, flying the friendly skies.  Up, up and away….  We love to fly and it shows.

I learned a lot today… in airports and airplanes. And I am glad for that. Another observation from Thoreau…  “It is only when we forget all our learning that we begin to know.”   Once again, I love Henry David… but I think he was smoking crack.  I believe we have to keep learning all the time… or we continue to bump into the same mistakes and obstructions.    Let’s not forget Air Canada…. defying those obstacles.

Now… here is a good one for me:

“Life is change.  Growth is optional.  Choose wisely.”  – W.S. Maugham