I took a walk through a cemetery today.  A beautiful spot, just up the street.

Holy Smackerolies.  This sight disturbed me to no end.  Just what….what could it mean?

There are all sorts of these grave markers around.  For all sorts of dead people.  So what does this one signify?  Is Michael the Archangel okay?  Or NOT?  I’m worried, I have to tell you.  For crying out loud, I don’t know that much about the ancient writings and such, but I thought Archangels were good to go…. like…. pretty much, all the time?  Are we in big trouble?  How we doing?   I’m in a bit of a frenzy over this….. OK.  Calming down…..

Maybe, just maybe, this is some sort of coincidence.  Like the guy buried here is:
First Name:  The
Middle Name:  Archangel
Last Name: Michael

…. in which case the guy SHOULD HAVE CHANGED his name.   Actually, come to think of it,  there are a lot of people that might be better off with name changes.

I knew a guy in one of my classes at AAU named “Lo Dong Wang”….  seriously.

Growing up, there was a lady in our parish called “Barb Dwyer”.

My brother just told me there is a guy in NASCAR racing named “Dick Trickle”.

As you can see, this could go on and on.  Lots of whack-a-doodle names out there.  One of the worst I knew was “Helen Back”.  WHICH…. brings us right back to ol’ Mike up there.

Of course, I can’t go without mentioning…..  Polly Kronenberger….. yes…..  a bit of a quirky name.    If I ever decide to change it…. I think it will be “Wanda Rin”…… (because my mind is always going places).

(One more I happened to spot at the graveyard… pictured below:  “Therese R. Greene”)

A good friend sent me an email today.  It was a “FUN” email…. you know the kind…. with goofy photos, or jokes.  She only sends the top-notch stuff…. so I always look with interest to see what it might be.  Today, she threw me a dose of “Finger Monkeys.”  Well, skeptic that I am, I could not believe the images I was seeing.  Little teeeeeeeeny, weeeeeeeny, cute primates, wrapped around index fingers and such.  Surely not.  NO. This could not be!   So I had to Snope it.  Again, my dear friend does not disappoint.  These little finger monkeys are as true as I am sitting here.  They are better known as the  Pygmy Marmoset or Dwarf Monkey …. a native to the rainforest canopies of western Brazil,  Colombia, Peru, and such.   It is one of the smallest primates, and the smallest true monkey, with its body length ranging from 5.5 to 6.3 in.  Males weigh around 4.9 oz, and females only 4.2 oz.  That’s a the size of the burger on a Single at Wendy’s.  Hold the bun.  (Don’t hold the monkey’s bun… I meant the bread bun.)

But that is the thing about the internet.  It is hard to know what to believe, and what not to believe.  Like the photo of shark eating a diver as he tries to climb the ladder of a helicopter…….. little kittens stacked up on dog heads, or the lion mother who raised a litter of squirrels.  How about the guy who stopped to change a stranger’s tire… it turned out to be Donald Trump… and the Trumpster paid off the The Good Samaritan’s  mortgage.  The one’s I really can’t stand, are the emails that tell you about someone’s good fortune, then threaten you to send it on to a dozen of your unsuspecting friends (without junk mail filters), or you’ll lose all your hair by the end of next week.   Puuuhhhhlllllleeeeeaasssse.

It is like….. JUST ANYONE can start writing a blog, and telling goofy stories, and making things up all willy-nilly.  Sure it seems funny at the time, but what about the TRUTH?  Yeah, any Joe Schmoe can sit down to a key board and yammer it up a bit…..

…. any….  one……  I suppose……

Alright, back to the topic of the evening…. I saw this statue today at Holling’s Park.  Low and behold, who was standing behind it but Lindsey Lohan and Charlie Sheen?  The two of them were drinking Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill….. and talking loudly…. I couldn’t quite snap the photo before they scurried off…  AND THEN….. they ….

I am shocked.  Amazed, really. Oprah calls them “Aha moments” (which I think is too cutesy, even for Opie.).  I call those particular awakening episodes…… “Holy-Crap-A-Doodles!”

Somehow, in my heart of hearts, I knew there had to be a difference.  Tonight, with my curiosity peaked to an all-time high, I sought out an answer.  And here it is…..

There truly is a difference… between……

Donkeys and Mules.

Who the heck would’ve ever guessed it?  I mean, as it goes, they have many similarities.  But the more you read about the topic, the more you will be confounded.   What a revelation.  I’d have to say, without really knowing any single one personally, I prefer Mules to Donkeys.  Mules are the offspring of a male donkey and a female horse.  However, a Mule is sterile.  No baby mules from mules…..

Donkeys can have beebies.  Mostly, one at a time, but occasionally they have twins.  There are a heck of a lot more donkeys in the world also.  43.6 million, as opposed to 11.2 Mules.  Probably has to do with the fertility topic we just discussed.  The thing I don’t like so much about donkeys is that they are stubborn, and have nicknames like Ass, and Beast of Burden. Besides all of that, a Donkey only has 62 chromosomes.

The Mule has 63.  Better.

Donkeys seem to enjoy a lot of fame and fervor.  The Ass is all over the bible, and also in Greek Mythology, Jewish Oral Traditions, Aesop’s Fables, and of course… Hollywood.  (Like Shrek’s Friend, Donkey).  Nobody ever seems to talk about the mule.   Sure, there was “Two Mules For Sister Sara”… but that’s hardly worth mentioning.  I mean, Shirley MacClaine and Clint Eastwood have done better movies, after all.

Yeah, I like Mules way more than Donkeys.  Maybe because there are just way too many asses in the world.

There are loads and loads of famous carpenters out there.  Like… Bernard Hauptmann, the guy who was sentenced to death for kidnapping Charles Lindbergh and Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s baby in “The Crime of the Century.”
Or, another is Edmund Spangler, also known as Edman, Edward, and Ned Spangler.   He was an alleged conspirator in the Abraham Lincoln assassination and had worked at Ford’s Theatre at the time of Abraham Lincoln’s murder. During the Civil War, he came to Washington, D.C. and began working as a carpenter and scene shifter at Ford’s Theatre.

The list goes on and on…….and who knew….. really?

Yes, many famous Mr. Fix-Its, Builders, Craftsmen.  I met a guy today who was the great-grandson of Thadeus Sprockmorton, of Charleston, SC.  Legend had it that this guy could pound 10 nails into a floorboard with his forehead in under a minute.  “Hammerhead Thad” is what they called him.  People would come from miles around to watch him perform this curiosity.  As you can image… old Throckmorton got a little punchy from this activity.  He passed out ten times an hour.  Lost his memory in the left side of his brain, the hearing in his left ear, and the vision in his left eye.  From then on, he kept saying he was all right. But alas.  It was plain to see that his talents had cost him much.  Everything had left him.

He went on to develop a product called “Thad’s Miracle Cure.  One spoonful and the vapors will be gone for good!”  Never sold a bottle.  He lost his memory too.  Thad wandered off one day, and no one ever heard from him again.    Somebody should have bought this guy a hammer…. or a helmet.  Curiously, Throckmorton’s son invented the “Power Nailer” also known as a nail gun, in the mid-1950s.    Remarkable.

“Bob?”

“What is it Earl?”

“Do you think these plants make my butt look big Bob?  Tell me the truth.”

“Earl, for the one millionth time….. NO…..  these plants DO NOT make your butt look big.  There are NO plants in our pot.  We’ve been without plants all winter.”

“Thanks Bob. I can believe you, because, YOU my friend, are always so stone-faced when you talk to me.  I know you wouldn’t lie to me.”

………”Uh……”

….. …….  “Bob?”…….  “Hey Bob?”…..

“What is it Earl?”

“Do you think these cobwebs make me look older or younger?”

“Geez oh geez….for crying out loud EARL.  For the one millionth time… somehow… they make you look younger! By half a century, at least. Holy crap!”

“Oh thanks Bob.  What a pal, what a pal.  I feel closer to you than anyone else in the whole world.”

“……… Yeah. Me too Earl.  Me too.”

“Love is when two people know everything about eachother and are still friends.”
– B. Metzmen

Today was one of those big venues.  Sometimes, you just have those kind of days in which you eat your oatmeal, go to work, come home, watch the news, go to bed.  You know how it goes….. “Time to make the donuts.”  THEN…… other days…… are BIG, BIG days. This was one of those.

We explored things today. Historical Things.  The H.L. Hunley Museum.  So great. Deep Link. Magnolia Cemetery.  Loads of Dead People.  Grave-y Link. Dinner at Hall’s Chop House.   Big Yum. Beefy Link. And… a night ghost tour of the Old City Jail.  Creepy.  Spooky Link. There’s so much to write about each one of these… I’ll come back to them at later dates.

But the photo above is the gated entrance to a small section in Magnolia Cemetery.  A mother and a father were buried there.  Along with their 5 children.  Four of those kids, died before they were 3 years of age.  One survived into adulthood.  Her name was Selina.  The family name was Riggs.

The last child was born, and died, on ??? dates in December of 1863.  The mother passed away in January of 1864.  I think the series of events were related.  Heaven only knows what kind of stories that family had…. what their lives were like… and their losses.  The thing of it was….. there were literally thousands of headstones in this one single cemetery in our little corner of the planet.  Each stone is filled with stories, and a life lived…. and a life gone by.  Most of them all but forgotten.   Concrete and Stone.

I know all of this sounds a bit down-trodden.  But really, it is something good to think about….  and consider… as we make our choices throughout the day………

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” – Howard Thurman

Inventions, and Inventors.  They intrigue me to all get-out.  I think it is…. well…. ingenious….. how some things were created.  There are a gazillions things we take for granted, but at some point in history, someone had to look at a certain thing (or situation), and think….  “Well, by golly, there just HAS to be a better way.”  Then they thought up that new best way.

Consider…. fire hose connectors, door stops, down spouts, and bike seats….. WHO did these?  When, and why?  There are a boat load, I’ll tell you.  A boat load.  Like erasers, eye glasses, stapler removers, and rivets.  It goes on and on.

My brother and sister-in-law just gave me a present… a t-shirt….. which shows many of the things that were invented in Dayton, Ohio.  It depicts a number of Dayton-specific innovations……..  like pop-top cans, parachutes, automobile self-starters, gas masks, step ladders, airplanes, and movie projectors.  Yes sirrrrreeeee….. all conceived in Dayton, Ohio.

Which then made me think……. “Hey ya. Hi ya.  Ho ya. I was INVENTED in Dayton, Ohio!” Probably, on or around, July 25th or so….. about 5 decades back.   Probably not because my parents were looking for a better way to create a child (there were six perfectly good kids which preceded me)…. they were probably just feeling frisky.

The patent for me is there too.  Issued 9 months later.  Maybe not as good as the down spout, but I can be useful from time to time.

“Where a new invention promises to be useful, it ought to be tried” – Thomas Jefferson

Kronenberger.  Well, there you have have it. I am Irish-ly Challenged.   Not a bit of Green in me, except for the Recycling Kind.  But let me get it out to all our green-beer-drinking, bagpipe-tooting, leprechaun-loving friends of mine:  Happy St. Patrick’s Day.

But here’s the thing I bet you didn’t know about this day.   Before it was St. Patrick’s Day, it was St. Blaise’s Day.  The Patron Saint of Throats and Throat Troubles…. also the Patron Saint of  The Wild Beast (with a direct association to Gargoyles).  He was born in Armenia in the 3rd century A.D. or roundabouts.  His death date is listed at an estimated 316 A.D.

Indeed, the first reference we have to him is in manuscripts Amidenus (a medical writer of long ago):  There St. Bliase’s aid is invoked in treating objects stuck in the throat. He cured animals and lived in a cave. Before being killed, he spoke to a wolf and told it to release a pig it was harming. The wolf did so. Saint Blaise was going to be starved…… but the good and thankful owner of the pig secretly gave him food in order to survive. (Curiously, it was a large platter of bacon and sausages….).

Later in life….. he was tortured because of his Christian faith but did not give up his beliefs.

According to his Catholic Veneration Rite, he was martyred by being beaten, attacked with iron carding combs, and beheaded.  Bad day for St. Blaise.  Probably a bad day for that pig, too.

At any rate, he got bumped from March 17th by St. Patty.  More Irish Catholics, than Armenians.  St. Patrick is a much more attractive fella’ too.  Blaise was as ugly as the Beasts he saved.

SO, to all the Non-Irish:  Happy St. Blaise the Beast-Saver Day.  Get your ugly on.  Save a pig.

I like to go to the Car Wash.  I see neat things there while I am waiting….. like Green Anole Lizards, and Love Branches.

“Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” -Buddha

Another one I got wrong as a kid…. The Ides of March.  I thought it was Hides.  I always heard the month was coming in like a lion, and going out like a lamb…. so I thought when people were quoting the well-known Shakespearean reference, that they were saying Hides.  Like…… animal hides.  It made absolutely no sense to me at all because I had never seen a lamb or a lion, in our neighborhood, in March, or any other month for that matter.

No one really seems to know the origin of the word “ides” which refers to the “middle day” of the month on the Roman Calendar.   (There are also connections to the God Mars, and also to the Full Moon.)  I can’t find out “why” though.

However, most people know that it was a bad, bad day for Julius Caesar.  In 44 B.C. Jule-Man was stabbed (23 times) to death in the Roman Senate led by Marcus Junius Brutus, Gaius Cassius Longinus and 60 other co-conspirators.  He visited a “Seer” just prior to his death.  The Seer said to Julesey…. “Beware of the Ides of March.”  (…and Shakespeare then wrote about it…Julius Caesar Act 1, scene 2, 15–19 )

Another connect the dot for you….. the Caesar Salad is often thought to be named for Julius Caesar.  Oh, no, no, no.  The salad was created by an Italian-born Mexican restaurateur names Caesar Cardini…. AND it first appeared on a restaurant menu in L.A., on March 15, 1946 (HOLY Lettuce Leaves & Anchovies!).  It was a Friday, in case you were wondering.  The name of the restaurant was called the Lion’s Lair.  I bet you are wicky-jigging right now… just sitting there wicky-jigging…..

…. I know I am.  Right down to my hide.