Feuds have been going on forever.  Some rivalries are as old as time.  They come in every shape, size, length, and detail…. this list of discord and strife.

Oh it ranges from the battle between Coke vs. Pepsi, to Apple vs. Microsoft.  Hatfields vs. McCoys.  Helmann’s vs. Miracle Whip.  Clan Chattan vs. Clan Kay (Battle of North Inch). Star Wars vs. Star Trek.  And of course… Good vs. Evil.

But none is as fierce, as intense, as fervent… …. as.. ….

Dog vs. Squirrel.

Recorded cases date back to the very first Homo Sapien, whose name was Ugghhh.  He had a prehistoric Beagle looking dog…. named Uggghhhh.  And would you know it?   Uggghhhh would chase the prehistoric squirrel, named Skippy,  all around the Cave Yard.  Yes.  It started way back then.

Throughout history, this rivalry has persisted.

In the times of the Ancient Norsemen….the little Norse Dogs would go out with the Vikings for months at a time on their sailing vessels. And what did those little Norse Dogs do when they finally reached land?  Yes.  They would chase the squirrels… no matter the place… no matter the time.

However, as a sidebar here…. their little helmets with the horns always slowed them down too much to actually catch any squirrels.

In Revolutionary times… an epic historical event was complicated by a Squirrel vs. Dog incident.  Yes again.  As Paul Revere… you know Paul… it was ‘He who warned uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh by ringing those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.’…. THAT Paul Revere….

At any rate, as he rode a-ringing-and-a-shooting…. a large Collie ran right across the road and caused Revere’s horse to rear-up and throw Paul to the ground.  The dog continued running fiercely in the direction of…. none other than… a bushy-tailed squirrel.

Some say the squirrel was a British Operative.  Could have been the little white wig.  But worry not.  Paul got the job done.

What about the Hound of the Baskervilles?  That little guy went missing for three weeks.  When Sherlock figured out the mystery, he found the Hound had chased a squirrel into Scotland Yard.  Yes that Baskervillish Mutthound had forced  little Skippy right up a tree… and there they stayed and stayed.

So as you see, this is nothing new today.  The question is…. why.

Our three dogs are so obsessed with the acquisition of squirrels… that they become like ice cream addicts in the Ben & Jerry’s Factory.   Like small children at the North Pole.  Like me in front of the Apple Store.  Pretty much… incognizant to the rest of the world.  A chronic case of tunnel vision.

And so it goes.

They stalk. They sneak. They crawl and scrabble.  The leap.  They lunge. They hurtle  and zoom.  If trying were the same as winning, they would be champions.  Unfortunately, it is not.  The squirrel seems to stay one step ahead… just out of reach.

So hard as they try…. the closest they come is the bristle of the tail.

The squirrel brain looks smaller in physical size… but I wonder.  It seems to have a great deal of smarts, and cunning.  The pursuit of the dog appears to be no match for Skippy, the King of Nuts.

I think I might start eating acorns.

“Many are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen, few in pursuit of the goal.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

“There is no such thing as the pursuit of happiness, but there is the discovery of joy” – Joyce Grenfell