And the nominees are…..

You know.  I am a prrrreeettttty big fan of movies.  I like them brand new and hot off the press.  Or the reel.

I like them old.  Heck, I can view the same movie time and again.  In fact, I do.  Sometimes, I will watch a movie in pieces.  I don’t mean that I am in pieces… crying, upset…. that sort of thing.  No…..  I mean that I can put a DVD in… and watch a bit.  Then I will come back to it the next day… and then come back to it again.  Sort of like reading a book.  A little here, a little there.

And, as it happens… I quote movies when the opportunity strikes.   I try not to do it too often.  But dang it… sometimes I can’t help myself.  And…. “”Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”  Okay.  Okay.

Well, it dawned on me a bit earlier, that the Oscars will be airing in less than 24 hours.  The Oscars.  The biggest awards ceremony for those movie we all love.  And, as I mentioned, the nominees are…

For Best Picture….
The Artist
The Descendants
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
The Help
Hugo
Midnight in Paris
Moneyball
The Tree of Life
War Horse

I’ve only seen three of those this year.  The Help; Midnight in Paris; The Tree of Life.

I have to tell you… concerning two of those choices….   I really have to wonder what the Academy is thinking.

Personally, I think “The Tree of Life” was the worst movie I have ever seen in MY tree of life.  Worse than “Ishtar”… “Gigli”…. and….. “The Adventures of Pluto Nash” all rolled into one.

“Midnight in Paris” was just okay.  Typical Woody Allen.

“The Help” was tremendously good in my book.

So now I say…..”What the heck?”   Who is doing the voting for the list of nominees?  Larry, Curly and Mo?  Some Nun somewhere?  Oh…..  I don’t know.  Clearly, I am no expert.  (Heck, I thought “The Lincoln Lawyer” was a lot better than “The Tree of Life.”  And I typically like those “artsy” type movies.)  This one was the Pitts.

Okay, enough from me…. I will put the old “Rex Reed” personae away for the rest of the night.

However. I have a new idea for a better Awards Ceremony for the Movies.  We will call it the Canine Film Festival Awards.   The Fidos.   Yes.  I say we leave to voting to the dogs.  That seems to be where it is going anyway.  Put a bunch of dogs in one big yard.   And then.  Bring in the lists…..

Write down all the nominated movie titles.  Each Movie Title on a separate piece of paper (or actors names… or what ever the particular category).   Then let the voting begin….. by peeing proxy.   The last piece of paper to get peed on… WINS.  And there you have it.

This system HAS to be better than what they are doing now.  The statue will be a….. big Golden FIDO, in a beret.  Coolio.  Two paws up.  Heck…  I will tune in just to watch the voting.

“Dogs. The question is not, Can they reason? nor, Can they talk? But rather, Can they suffer?”  -Jeremy Bentham

This much I will tell you.  If you make a dog watch “The Tree of Life”… that dog will surely…. without a doubt……   suffer.