I love to juggle.  I love to dance.  I have had a love for many things “athletic” over the years.

Yet.  I was the kid at the dinner table who always spilled her glass of milk… on the three people sitting next to me.  I couldn’t keep my napkin on my lap.  And when I took my plate to the kitchen sink… invariably… I dropped it.  And broke it.

I have morphed from that little girl.. into…. an adult.  Now.  I am the kid at the dinner table who spills her Diet Coke on the three people sitting next to me.

Oaf.  The clumsy kind.  Lummox.  Butterfingers.  Mistake Maker.  Producer of Gaffes.

The person in this life who knows me best….  says it is because….  I rush.  Whoopsie.   I hurry too much.  I need to slow down.

I say it is because I am a schlub to the very core of me.  And guess what I just read.  Scientists have discovered an accident-prone  DNA marker in some people’s genetic composition.  I AM THAT TEST DUMMY.  The Klutz Gene.  I have the Klutz Gene.

We are the People of the Hazardous mixed in with the Haphazard.  We are dangerously aimless, and slipshod.

Some people you make recognize as being in this elite, yet pathetic, group:

Chief Inspector Clouseau, Mr. Magoo, Lucy (I Love Lucy), Buster Keaton, Chevy Chase, Dick Van Dyke, Inspector Gadget, Scooby Doo, and this list goes on and on.

We trip.  We fall.  We walk in to walls.  The amount of broken vases, and glassware is insurmountable.  When a cop tells us to “Drop It”…. we say… “No Problem.”

Oh.  Don’t feel sorry for us.  NO.  Just don’t stand too close.  We don’t mean to…. but you may be scathed or impaled by something or another.

I am the Bull in the China Shop.  I used to think it was because my Zodiac Sign is Taurus the Bull.  But.  NO.  I have the DNA.  I was born this way.

As it turns out… I fell out of the womb.  The doctor tried to catch me in time.  But out I came…and…  WHAMO…. right down to the floor.  Yep.  It started right out of the gate for me.

I knew early on I would never be a Ballerina.  But I would make a terrific Bowling Ball, or Sledge Hammer.  And there you have it.  It was in my stars.  The predetermination of me.

So thanks Dr. Lederberg, for clearing all of this up.  The next time I run into a wall, I will know it is for good reason.

It is my path.  In more ways than one.  The next big blunder… just waiting to happen.

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one”  -Elbert Hubbard