I have been up on mine.  Somebody…. tackle me.

Man must rise above the Earth—to the top of the atmosphere and beyond—for only thus will he fully understand the world in which he lives.  — Socrates

And with that said….

I have a few pet peeves here and there.  I wish I could rise above some of them… but not all.

One in particular is the spreading of rumors…. or false information.

It happens quite frequently on the internet.  It is easy to “share” a link…. or a “story” that you read.  Or something that someone has “passed on to you” through an email.

Sure, it may have come from a trusted friend… or what you think is a credible “looking” source.  And alas.  That “piece of information” turns out to be not entirely correct…. maybe not even true at all.

Rumors like…. “the 809 area code scam”…. or…  “the new government policy that says U.S Service Members can’t speak at faith-based public events”… or  “criminals using a chemically soaked business cards to incapacitate their victims”… “or the President canceling National Prayer Day”… “or that Little Chicken that runs around and correctly predicts that the sky is falling.”  False.  False.  And the rest…. false.

Although…… come to think of it…..  I am not entirely sure about the Little Chicken.  That one might be true.

At any rate… these words are like poison.

There is the story from the movie “Doubt”.  It tells of a woman spreading gossip and she is overcome with guilt. She goes to her priest to talk of her activities and to ask is she did anything wrong ……..

Father O’Rourke instructs…..‘I want you to go home, take a pillow upon your roof, cut it open with a knife, and return here to me.’ So, the woman went home: took a pillow off her bed, a knife from the drawer, went up the fire escape to her roof, and stabbed the pillow.

Then she went back to the old parish priest as instructed. ‘Did you gut the pillow with a knife?’ he says. ‘Yes, Father.’    ‘And what were the results?’ ‘Feathers,’ she said. ‘Feathers?’ he repeated. ‘Feathers.  Everywhere, Father.’

‘Now I want you to go back and gather up every last feather that flew out onto the wind,’ ‘Well,’ she said, ‘it can’t be done. I don’t know where they went. The wind took them all over.’

‘And that,’ said Father O’ Rourke, ‘is gossip!’

So, before you share that next story… because you think it is true, or funny, or important…. I ask you to think twice.  Investigate it.  At Snopes… or another urban legend dispeller.

You will be helping the world to think responsibly… and compassionately.  And, it will keep those feathers on our wings… and help us to fly high.

We want the air to unite the peoples, and not to divide them.  — Lord Swinton

Sometimes I have a hard time keeping an open mind.  Oh, I know how very important it is in life… to do just that.  When your mind is open… your heart is sure to follow.

Many of us are socially conditioned to immediately reject certain things without even thinking about it.  What the heck? We weren’t born with closed ways of thinking.  Holy Smackerels, when you are very young… there is no color, creed, or politics.  There are a whole big bunch of crayons… and blank pieces of paper.  We LEARN through conditioning to close our minds to possibilities.

Keeping an open mind is a priceless virtue no matter how sure we may be about what we believe to be truth.

I try, but I am not always so great at it.  I think it is one of the most important factors in behaving compassionately here on earth.  If I could just keep an open mind, I would be  more likely to …..

….hear the WHOLE story….
…. try something new….
… not be judgmental….
… be aware of sights, and sounds, and smells around me….
… be able to listen…
… be able to think….
…. to grow.

Yes, all of that unleashes endless possibilities in life.  It is when I am sure that I know it all… that I miss the kazillion things I have never considered.

About ten years… we had a couple of Golden Retrievers.  As a breed, they are some very amazing dogs.  I was certain… positively certain… that I did not want, OR NEED, any other kind of dog in my life.
Golden Retrievers…. or nothing.  End of Story.

Not end of story.  Enter “little dog”…… stage left.

WHAT???!!  I don’t like little yappy bossy dogs.  Especially not crippled, stinking, fur-matted, grumpy little dogs.  No way… no how.  And I sure don’t want to own one.
Okay… okay.  So she’s injured.  I will take her to the vet and help her get better.  But that is the end of it.  I will find some “chowderhead-bleeding-heart” to take this thing off my hands…..

And then the OMS hit me.  Yes. The Open Mind Syndrome crawled in.  Like a creeping…. yet….. flowering vine.

You see… I had absolutely NO idea that I wanted that little dog.  But I did.  In fact…. I NEEDED that dog.  She changed me.  She helped me.  She has softened  my heart in immeasurable ways.  She is a friend, and a lifeline.

What a lucky girl I am.

And that is just one little facet of my fortune when it comes to others beings in my life.  I know so many good people… who have done the very same thing for me.  Opened my way of thinking.  Helped me to see.  Grabbed my hand and walked with me as I grew.  And grow.

Yep.

When your mind is open… your heart is sure to follow….

“Where there is an open mind there will always be a frontier.” – Charles F. Kettering

Dear Polly,
Do us all a favor and don’t write about history crap any more.  Boring.
Snoozing,
Donald, Branson, Missouri

Dear Sleepin’ Donny-O.

Okey-Dokey.  No more history writing….  Tonight… I will talk about  Time Travel.  So let’s go time traveling back to the late 1600s.  This is sort of like Science Fiction Don.  Only it really happened.  But not historically speaking.  Just call it “Yester-Year-ish.”

And here is how it goes…..

Some places prove to be quite interesting… at every corner you turn.  I think that is one reason I like to kick around the streets of downtown Charleston every now and again.

Every street has its own special charm, and of course, history.  Tradd Street is filled with great stories.  There is a very cool house at 19 Tradd Street.

A whole kaboodle of the houses down here have names.  The one at 19 Tradd Street is called the John McCall House.  I like to call it the Quaker Lady House.

You see…. this little town of Charleston was first settled in 1670.  Tradd was one of the earliest streets… along with East Bay, Broad, King, Meeting and Church Streets.  In the Hood.

But now…. let’s head on back to 19 Tradd.  Probably the  the first home owner for this property was a woman named Mary Fisher Bayley Crosse.

She was a Quaker Minister whose travels took her to many places, which included Turkey and New England during the 1600s.  I can hardly imagine….

Old Mary Crosse finally settled in Charleston.

She is one of a group of such preachers who are called the Valiant Sixty. She, and another friend, Anne Austin were “called by God” to preach.  Because of this… they were humiliated, beaten, and imprisoned on more than one occasion for promoting Quaker beliefs.  They were even stripped to the waist and flogged.

Their books were burned, their clothes were removed, and they were searched for signs of witchcraft. Then… of to the old slammer, the gallows, the dungeon…. yep, they were imprisoned. They were fed only because a compassionate townsman, Nicholas Upsall, bribed the jailer.   I’m guessing bread and water.

She died here in 1698 and is buried at the Quaker Burial Ground here.   Yes.  That was a long dang time ago.

Now…. isn’t that just pretty whack-a-doodle-do?

And that is just one story, from one little slice in time, from a single house, on just one particular street.  Amidst many.

What a world.  What a world.

So thanks for time traveling with me.  And thanks for being on time….

And….. I’m outa’ here now.  History.

Water off a duck’s back.  Now that is quite a saying, isn’t it?  And just what does it mean?

Welllllll……. if criticisms or slanderous statements are like water off a duck’s back to someone….  it suggests that they aren’t affected by it in the slightest.

Although the duck spends a lot of time in water, the water never stays on its feathers for long. This is because its feathers are coated with oil (from the preen gland)  and this prevents the water from being absorbed. As a result, when the bird steps out of the water, it is able to shake it off within a matter of a few seconds.  Shake it off.

Water rolls off a duck’s back without effect.

Not all waterfowl have this ability.  For instance, the Double-Crested Cormorant.    The cormorant doesn’t have well-developed oil glands and isn’t waterproofed very well.  So it can get wet…. and sink a bit.  It often dries its feathers by perching on a pole or tree limb and stretching its wings out.  Like the Karate Kid.

Well dang it.  I don’t have well-developed oil glands.    I AM the Double-Crested Cormorant.  Yes, my fluffy feathers soak up every little last bit of criticism, condemnation, denunciation, disapproval, disparagement and disdain.

Today while walking home from breakfast, we decided to make a quick stop at an Antique Store.  We have been passing this place for nearly 5 years now…. and we keep saying… “One day, we are going to ring the service bell, go in, and have a look around.”

You see… there is a sign in the window (which changes from time to time).  But the gist of the message is always the same… “Don’t knock on this door, don’t bother me, don’t EVEN think about coming in… unless you are a “Serious Buyer.”

To which I always say… “Well, how the heck would you know unless you go on in and have a teeny-weeny look-see around?”

So today, we saw the shop owner standing right inside the door.  We figured this would be a great time to stop.  Mary wrapped lightly on the door.  The “gentleman” flings the door open and looks at us with a furrowed brow.  “What do you want?” he says.

Dear Mary, responds, “We are interested in coming in an looking around.”  To which “The Gentleman”…. no strike that.  Let’s just call him a Son of a Beach from here on out.  So Mr. SOB then roars… literally roars…. “Can you NOT read the sign on the door?”

Mary and I look at one another….. then back at the sign… then back to Mr. Grumpy Pants.  “It CLEARLY SAYS that ONLY SERIOUS BUYERS should RING the BELL.  RING the BELL.”

The abuse continued for several more minutes…. before we walked away.  He was the angriest, rudest, and haughtiest person I have ever come across in my life.

I managed to hold my tongue.  Mary alerted him to the fact that he was behaving rudely.  She also let him know a few other things.   And as we walked down the street, she said she wasn’t going to give him another thought… not another minute of her thinking or her day.

Mary is a DUCK.  I am a Cormorant.

I wish my preen gland worked.  But no.  I let all those soggy remarks weight me down, soak my wings, dampen my fluffy feathers.

I let that creepy guy permeate my exterior.   And I don’t feel better unless I can stand on some pole somewhere… in the sun….. and spread my wings to let them dry.

That appears to be what I am doing now.  Spreading my wings with my friends… who are JUST like the warm sunshine…. and drying off a bit… so that I can go swimming… once again.

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”
– Paul Boese

I think we live on a pretty amazing big ball of dirt.  This thing keeps making circles around the sun…. and while THAT is happening… it is spinning like a top itself.

So it is no wonder I get dizzy every now and again…unexplainably.

But the fact of the matter is…. I think this constant rotation of our digs here…. make certain things just plain old crazy-go-nuts.  You know those kind of things…  the ones that stop you in your tracks and make think… “What the heck!”  Like the strawberry filling in the middle of Pop-Tarts.

Dang..  …. … these things make me dizzy.  I wobble.

Okay.  Like.  Today in the grocery… I nearly dropped a dozen eggs when the thought hit me…. “If Jed Clampett had been a decent shot… he’d still be back in the hollers of  Bugtussle, Missouri.  Yep.  Granny, and the whole bunch of them….  eatin’ vittles somewhere in the Ozarks.”    But the dude couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn.  No.  Instead….. his stray bullet hits the ground… and oil flows a-plenty.  (Hey Jed.   Where are you now?  We could use a little oil in these parts…..)

And.  Speaking of Petroleum.  Here’s another thing I have recently learned… in honor of Super Big Fat Crazy Tuesday……

The United States’ 30th President, Calvin Coolidge, enjoyed eating pancakes.  Now that is not so whacky.  But this is.  He loved having his head rubbed with Vaseline while he ate breakfast in bed.  I am not sure why. And I am not sure by whom.  But this is true.  Go on.  Google it.

And you know… all that Vaseline must have affected his noggin.  He spent an unusual amount of time with the White House curtains.  He amused himself by ringing the White House doorbell and then scampering off to hide in the drapes.  He was a Republican, by the way.  That good old Cal…… ringing his own doorbell and running.

Did you know that Coolidge has lots of different jobs?   One was Tax Collector…. and that leads me to this.  Tax Day is not that far off.  Just over a month away.  Woot.  Woot.  The IRS Employees’ Tax Manual has instructions for collecting taxes after a nuclear war.  This to me… is crazier than having your head rubbed with Vaseline.

The Tax Man Cometh.  But does he drive?

The California Department of Motor Vehicles has issued six driver’s licenses to six different people named Jesus Christ.    I don’t quite know why this struck me funny.

Again… it spawns all sorts of questions.  What kind of car does each one of these Jesus’ drive?  When they cross rivers… do they have to take the bridge?   And what happens when someone cuts these Jesus-drivers off in traffic?  And.  Does his acquaintance Pontius Pilot fly a plane?

Finally…let us jump to the last thing.  A Kangaroo is unable to walk backwards.  And it is the same thing for me.

I think it is because the Planet Earth is in a constant spin…..  and we all know…. that makes me dizzy too.

“Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.” – Dr. Carl Sagan

Zookie Kinlever is one smart monkey.  The Zook Man knows his words.  Amazingly interesting and engaging words.  And he loves to share the love.  So, from time to time… good old Captain Vocabulary will give us a Word for the Day…..

Zookie Kinlever’s First Installment of ……
Word for the Day.

extemporaneousek-stem-puh-RAY-nee-us 

 
adjective
1 :composed, performed, or uttered on the spur of the moment : impromptu
2 :provided, made, or put to use as an expedient : makeshift

Extemporaneous,” which comes from Latin “ex tempore” (“out of the time”), joined the English language sometime in the mid-17th century.   Joined like a club… I guess.

At any rate….The word “impromptu” was improvised soon after that.

In general usage, “extemporaneous” and “impromptu” are used interchangeably to describe off-the-cuff remarks or speeches….

Zookie often makes extemporaneous remarks….  That is how he rolls.

Recently … when a local reporter asked Zook how he felt about the unfair labor laws in the South American Coffee Industry… Zookie replied with an extemporaneous remark… “Boy oh boy do I like Coffee…. AND……I can see Columbia from my house.”

That monkey is quick on his feet I’ll tell you.  Quick on his feet.  Give him another cup of Joe.

For everything…. there is a cause and an effect.

I grew up in a family with a scientific Dad.  He was always coming up with quirky “thinking” games to play.  We would say things spelled backwards for an entire meal…. “Ssap eht rettub esaelp.”  Other nights… we would refer to things by their molecular name.   Water was H2O  and table salt….NaCl and on.  If we didn’t know what it was… we would make something up.

We dabbled with Physics too.  One of the things we learned was Isaac Newton’s Laws of Motion … “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction”  Which then stemmed into the Philosophical Discussion of Cause and Effect.

It refers to the concept of causality.  That is where …..  an action or event…. will produce a certain response.

So that was dinner with the Ks.  Best meatloaf in town too.

At any rate, I truly believe in the “Cause and Effect” principle.  It hits us all on a daily basis.

Take the Three Stooges.  A classic example.  Moe tells Curly to grab the ladder.  Curly picks up the ladder.  He swings it around and hits Larry in the back.  Larry, holding the can of paint, loses his footing, and his grip on the paint can…. which topples through the air.  It then lands squarely on Moe’s head.  Moe gets mad.  We laugh.  Haaaa… Ha… Ha…  Ha.  Curly and Larry both get poked in the eyes.

Cause.  And Effect.

And so it goes in life doesn’t it?  Whether it is something negative, or positive…. it has a direct effect on something… or more pointedly…. someone.

A snide remark. A look of disdain.  A rumor spread.  Or perhaps…. a hand on someone’s shoulder.  A reassuring smile.  A door held open.  An invitation to lunch.   It may not change the world…. or cure cancer.

But that ONE little good thing we choose to do …. in place of that one little negative….  may have an unknown and unending impact on one person.  Or many.  Cause and Effect.  Chain Reactions.

Today I received a special message from someone.  They will never be able to comprehend how much that meant to me.  They will never know how much the “cause” of their “action” deeply “affected” me.

And one thing… then leads to the next.

“Oh man! There is no planet sun or star could hold you, if you but knew what you are.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Kevin was the fastest Snail in the Snail Racing Circuit.  He was like greased lightning… as far as gastropod molluscs were concerned.  The other Snails didn’t like him.   Not one bit.   They called him a Big Slug behind his back.

For years, he drove BMWs.  But one year…. Kevin bought a new auto…. with an S-Series Engine.  From that point on…. he never lost a race again.  Every time he would compete… the fans would cheer in the stands ….

“Woooooweeeeee.  Look at that S-Car Go!”

Okay.  Not so funny.  Let me try again…..

A snail walks into a bank to make a deposit. Then a turtle comes in and robs the bank.  A turtle!!

Afterward, the police are interviewing the snail and asks him to recount what had happened

To which……

the snail says….  “I don’t know, it all happened so fast!”

And there you have it.  Time is Relative.

As Albert Einstein once said….

“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT’S relativity.”

March is a month of great Pisces.  I know some really good Zodiac Fish, I’ll tell you.  One of my sisters is a Pisces… and a nephew too.  They are both pretty cool.

Typically, the Pisces person is known as mysterious and alluring individuals.  The people of this sign or highly creative, great thinkers, compassionate, adaptable… and very accepting.  Kind of like the Sneetches.  Well, the Sneetches that finally “got it.”  Good folks.  Right down to the little stars on their bellies.

Why do I ask this… why do I care?
Because Teddy Geisel was born over there.
He liked to write books about creatures and people.
He would paint a church green and take off the steeple.

I cherished his stories, when I was a kid.
Now I find them on Ebay and place quite a bid.
The Sneetches are best.  By far my big favorite.
Those Green Eggs and Ham… I really do savor it.

So I’ll dance round in circles to cheer on this day.
Dr. Seuss was just great.  He was more than okay.
He had a great message which had to be told.
And he’s still young at heart… he will never grow old.

“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.” – Dr. Seuss

-.-.-.-.-.-.-…….-.-.-.-.-.-.-……..-.-.-.-.-.-.-…….-.-.-.-.-.-.-

So.  More on Seuss.  His real name was Theodor Seuss Geisel (March 2, 1904 – September 24, 1991) Yep.  An American writer, poet, and cartoonist.  But Doc Seuss most widely known for his children’s books written under the pen names Dr. Seuss, Theo LeSieg and, in one case, Rosetta Stone.  Ha.  Rosie.

All and all, Teddy-Boy published 46 children’s books.   Forty-Six.  Seems like it should be more.

His most celebrated books include the bestselling Green Eggs and Ham, The Cat in the Hat, One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish, Horton Hatches the Egg, Horton Hears a Who!, and How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

Now here is something.  Geisel attended Dartmouth College as a member of the Class of 1925.  During that time, he wrote for a  humor magazine at school….. the Dartmouth Jack-O-Lantern.  Eventually… they made him the BIG editor-in-chief… of the Pumpkin Paper.

But here is the deal.   Party Man G.  He was caught drinking Gin with nine friends in his dorm room.  Yowza.  As a result, Dean Craven Laycock insisted that he resign from all extracurricular activities.  Of course this would include his snappy newspaper job.

Soooo…. Mr. Smarty Pants…… to continue work on the Jack-O-Lantern without the administration’s knowledge, Geisel began signing his work with the pen name “Seuss”.   And that is when it first took hold.  Dr. Seuss was born.   A bottle of Gin…. and a big tall red & white striped hat.  Mainly because there wasn’t a lampshade in the dorm room.

I could go on about this rhyming dude.  But I think I’ve said quite enough.

I love Dr. Seuss.  A Very Happy Birthday Ted.

You are one good Pisces….. a real good one, two, red & blue fish.