I love to watch the movies.  I like all kinds… except for the horror, slasher, blood and guts movies.

But I think I am getting harder to please.  It just doesn’t seem like I get to see that many REALLY GOOD movies these days.

Now LINCOLN…. that was a great movie.  But I’ll watch some of the others that are nominated for best picture… and say to myself….  “Ay, Caramba!” (In Ricky Riccardo’s voice).

Perhaps, it is simply that I’m getting a crusty outer shell.  For instance.   Has anyone seen Star Wars lately?   I mean… THE Star Wars…. with Luke and Leah and Hans.  It is pretty gosh-darn hokey pokey.  When I first saw Star Wars, back in the day, I thought it was incredible.  Amazing. Astounding.  And now…. I can see the strings on the flying spaceships and bad Wookie costumes.

These days… they make movies out to be the greatest show on earth.  Crazy good. Thrilling.  Cutting-edge-of-the-seat-of-your-pants-on-fire good.  They turn out to be Big Fish Stories.  Most of them, anyway.

Yep.  Call me the demanding-suspicious-curmudgeon this evening.

Okay.  But last night, I thought… a good old movie on Netflix.  That is  THE ticket.  Exactly what I need.   So I chose “The Shop Around the Corner” with Jimmy Stewart and Margaret Sullavan.  I had never seen it before.  Oh want enjoyment it brought me.  Then…. about half way through… I said to Maxine…  “Max.  This film reminds me a little bit of ‘You’ve Got Mail’… you know…. the one with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.”  And Max nodded in agreement.

Then, when Jimmy Stewart is outside of the diner, and Margaret Sullivan is inside with the carnation in the book…. I said… “THIS IS YOU’VE GOT MAIL!  Nora Ephron ripped this off!  IS NOTHING SACRED?”  Maxine barked in agreement.

Okay.  So maybe I over reacted.  And maybe this is common knowledge to the rest of the world.  But last night… it was big dang news to me.

I felt deceived.  Duped.  Heck, I loved “You’ve Got Mail” and with good reason.  It is an old Jimmy Stewart movie…. counterfeited.  Stolen.  Highjacked.

Hmmmph.

The next thing you know… they be trying to tell me that Harvey isn’t real.

May The Force Be With You.  May it be with you all.  Hook, line, and sinker.

On Christmas Eve, in 1883, the fourth child of John Peter Wourms, and Maria Ann Bany was born. They had hoped for a son… but alas…. she was their third daughter.

They named her for her grandfather.  They called her Louisa.

It was one of the coldest winters they could remember, in the small town of Zenz City, Ohio. They were a farming family. A good Catholic farming family. They helped build the church there. So on this  very cold night, they were most thankful for the birth of their little girl. She was smaller than most babies. But she had a head full of dark hair, and chocolate brown eyes.  But she had a sweet, gentle, face.   She did not cry that night. Not even once.
John and Maria were happy. Yes.. this daughter was …. a gift of Christmas.

One year later… almost to the date… Momma Maria died of Influenza.

Louisa would never really know her mother. Not one single memory.

Her Dad went on remarry. It didn’t take him long. He had known young Kathryn Staugler from St. Peter’s church. They had been friendly and kindly in passing… as neighbors are.
John asked Kathryn to marry him in the spring of 1886. By July they were married…. and during their time together… they had nine more children. Mostly girls.  I guess old John had trouble shooting Y’s.

But back to Louisa. She was a bit of an inventor. She was always tinkering around the farm. Her stepmother would caution her to get back to the laundry, or the cooking. But Louisa loved to fix things.

They raised chickens their on that farm. It was a productive business. But one of the hens…. Gerty… would peck the heck out of anyone who tried to retrieve her eggs. It was always a big long production to try and get an egg from Gerty.
One day, Louisa came out of the barn, with a long iron bar… with a large metal scoop attached at the end. She had fixed another piece on the top, which was controlled (up & down), with a wire. Louisa went to Gerty’s house, moved the scoop underneath the hen, and came out with an egg. No peck. Brilliant.

This device was patented…. some years later… and is now used in those games that you see at Walmart, and fairs…. the one where people jam tons of quarter into a machine… and attempt to extract a small stuffed animal with a claw.
I only know this story, because Louisa is my Grandmother’s stepsister. Yep, Grandma Regina’s sister Louisa.

Louisa died in 1903. That year, Ohio had lots of flooding. Louisa fell into a overflowing stream. She caught an illness… and died. She was only 19.

I only know this story… because I made most of it up. But that photo is really Louisa. She really is my Grandmother’s stepsister, and such, and such.

She just didn’t invent the Carnival Claw. At least…. not that I know of.

“I’m more interested in what I discover than what I invent” – Paul Simon

This is so dang funny… and clever.

As it turns out… I really do like apples.

I eat a whole lot of them.  Like a  bushel.  Not in one sitting though.  I looked it up, and there are roughly 126 medium apples in a bushel (i.e.. 48 pounds).  I can go through about 4 or 5 apples a day.  Yep … in less than a month, as my math figures it, I have  managed to chomp down a bushel.

So when someone asks me …. “How do you like them apples?”  I typically say that I love them.

But I don’t think they are really asking me about my penchant to the perfect fruit.

That good old phrase. How do you like them apples.  It seems this idiom can be used to gloat a little bit.  You know… when someone wants to call attention to a small personal triumph.   It is…  kind of….  a way of puffing out your chest a little…  or even saying “So there.”

And with all good idioms… they typically come from somewhere.  Mr. & Mrs Idiom.

Seriously.  I know you want to know the origins of this one.  Just how did the expression get its start?

Some early  sources suggest it originated in World War I with the Toffee Apple.  A toffee apple was a kind of trench mortar bomb sometimes used to destroy tanks.

So… those old WWI guys would be down in the trenches… and through out one of those mortar bombs…  and then they would holler out…  “How you like them apples?”

Generally…  the person being asked usually isn’t in earshot to answer the question.

Apple comes around again in a lot of different phrases… and such.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Apple of my eye.
The Big Apple.
One rotten apple spoils the barrel.
Easy as apple pie.

On and on and on….
I think this is because apples are so very cool.  They are appealing.  Yep.  Everybody wants a piece of the pie.   And….  I think that is getting right to the core of the matter.  Hopefully, this wasn’t a fruitless endeavor.

By the way…. I wrote this on my Macintosh.

“If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.” – George Bernard Shaw

How about them apples?

I like certain words a whole lot.

I have visited this topic from time to time.  But words sometimes can’t even describe how much I like words.  And I have an All-Star Team of the ones I think standout more than the rest.

One of those words is….   scooch.

I love the word “scooch” in all sorts of ways.  First… the shear phonetics of it.  It sounds like it could be a code word for something, or the name of someone in a street gang.  Or even the password to get into a dark alley doorway during The Prohibition.

Scooch.

But the definition is simply this:

scooch |sko͞oCH|(also scootch )
verb [ no obj. ] informal
1 crouch or squat.
2 move in or pass through a restricted space: waiters kept trying to scooch by.
• [ with obj. ] move (something or something) a short distance or into a restricted space: scooch your sleeping bags close together.

The origins of the word,  probably come from the 19th century… at some point in time.  It is most likely a variation of scrooch, which means to crouch or bend combined with scoot, which is to go suddenly and  speedily.  Somebody, somewhere… squished those words together.

But back to the meaning…. the definition.  The interpretation could go either way for the individuals involved.
“Hey, scooch over a little bit, will ya’?”….  which indicates that someone wants you to move away.

Or… the reason I really, really like this word.
It is when someone says to you…
“Scooch on over here.” and they pat their hand down beside them.

That… is good scooching.
That is good word.
“Because of you, my life is so much sweeter.” – T. Smonkey

Yeah.  If I were a snail, I would take things slow.

I could learn a thing or two from snails… and turtles… and elephants.

Any plodding creature would do, truth be told.

They move deliberately and… from the looks of it… with a certain conviction.  Like they are committed to the act of moving forward.

Now me.  I’m all over the place.  Always moving too fast and running in to things.

Yep.  I could learn from a snail.

Which reminds me of a news story I recently heard.

A snail walks into a bank to make a deposit. Then a turtle comes in and robs the bank.

Afterward, the police are interviewing the snail and asks him to recount what had happened, The snail says, “I don’t know, it all happened so fast!”

Tonight, I have been thinking a lot about regrets.  Or lack there of.

I am always amazed at those individuals who can say they have no regrets.  I don’t know that I am envious of those people.  But I certainly am struck by this.

To regret something is to feel sad or perhaps repentant.  It could be a disappointed.  This dismay might have come from something that has happened…. or an act that has been done.  It could be disappointment about a loss or a missed opportunity. It could even be apologetic.

But this much I can tell you…  I have know all those things.  On more than one occasion.  As they say… to err is human.

You see, I have made a lot of mistakes in my life.  I continue to make them.  I even think… in times long past… that some of these wrong doings have been ill-intentioned.   (All of a sudden… I feel like I am sitting in front of “The Confess-O-Cam”)

At any rate…these days, I try not to do anything with a mean spirit in my heart.  I think compassion is the better way now.  And I hope that I have learned from my mistakes.   Yes, hopefully,  in some way, I have grown from them.

Everything we experience should bring us information about life.  I hope to take that information, and learn from it.

So yes, I have regrets in life.  On the other hand, I have had a lot of pleasing and welcoming events throughout time.  There is a WHOLE lot to be thankful for.  Assuredly…. there is much that has gone right.  And I learn from those experiences as well.

It all goes full cycle, the goods and the bads… the ups and the downs.  But we would not appreciate one, without the other.

Heck.  If all we knew was double-fudge-brownie-chocolate-ice-cream with peanut butter syrup… well…   wellllll…. that is all we would know.  We wouldn’t have the same appreciation for it… if we didn’t have tofu topped with steamed okra… from time to time.  (That’s a big regret… I’ll tell you that much right now!)

All in all.. I think regrets are a part of being human.  We aren’t perfect.  Try as we may, we don’t always do things quite right.  And sometimes we miss the mark.  We fail the task.  At least THIS human does.

But I think it is okay.  As long as we keep moving forward.  With love in our hearts.

“The mind that is wise mourns less for what age takes away; than what it leaves behind.” – William Wordsworth

“I love you the more in that I believe you had liked me for my own sake and for nothing else.” – John Keats

One day…. in the very big woods… a burly old black bear and a little gray squirrel were sitting next to one another … at the common animal latrine.

Oh yes.  They have those latrines out in the woods.  They do.

So… this old bear and the squirrel were sitting there… getting ready to do their business.

“Hey, little buddy” says the bear to the squirrel, “Do you find that poop tends to stick to your fur when you go?”

“Well, what do know friend.    As a matter of fact…. yes…….. it does,” replied the squirrel.

“That’s good news!” says the bear.  And … the bear reaches over, picks him up off the ground…. and and wipes his rear end with the little squirrel.

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one” – C. S. Lewis

People ask me… “What do you take pictures of?” or “Why are you taking a picture of that thing?”

There is no good answer to either question, really.  I photograph whatever strikes me at the moment.  It could be anything.  Anywhere.

The thing that happens in my little brain, prior to capturing an image on film, is quite simple.   I equate it to the rudimentary  response of the common crow.  It goes like this.  “Ohhhhhhhh  Looooook.  Shiny Object!  Shiny object, shiny object, shiny object.”

And that is all.

I see something that strikes me.  And I shoot.  I am sometimes driven by it… and it becomes important to me.

But here is the mockery of it all.  I don’t think that we can ever make a true recording of what is before us.  The image, the scene, the sound, the song.  Life events…. are…. life events.  It doesn’t seem to me that it can be captured in its wholeness.  No… the experience is unmistakably real.

The sound of a infant, laughing from the belly.  The magnitude and majesty of the vast red canyon.  The first light of sunrise.  The soulful song of a wolf’s cry.

Oh yes.  Technology is amazing.  The devices are clearer and more precise when it comes to the act of recording.  The scratchy banter of the old LPs has long been replaced by digital prowess.  The grain and blur of the old negatives, has fallen way to the digital sensors of movies and photos.

We are surrounded by Dolby and 3-D and Panorama and Surround Sound.  But none of it can compare to the real thing.

None of it comes close to actually being there.
Being there…. in the moment.  The most precious thing of all.

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” – Mae West

“That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet.” – Emily Dickinson

Space.  The Final Frontier.  Or so they say.

I like the idea of Outer Space.  I think there are all sorts of things out there we really have no idea about.  But I guess we are learning.  Yet… people ask…. Is it really important to find these things out?

Rocket Scientists think so.  And if a Rocket Scientist thinks so…. well…. who the hell am I to argue.

So yes.  We continue to learn about space.

For instance, on this date, January 19, in the year 2006….  an unmanned NASA spacecraft hurtled toward Pluto on a 3-billion-mile  journey to the solar system’s last unexplored planet.  Now this voyage is going to take a LONG dang time.  Whether it is in space-travel-years… or dog years.

They are guessing it will get there about 9 1/2 years after take off.  That would be 2015.  I’m not sure where it is right now…..  but it was the fastest spacecraft ever launched…. reaching a maximum velocity of 36,256 mph.  And you think I drive fast.

The probe, powered by 24 pounds (11 kilograms) of plutonium, will not land on Pluto. However…. it will photograph it, analyze its atmosphere and send data back across the solar system to Earth.  They won’t be using Instagram.  I can tell you that much right now.

But here is the thing.  When they launched it…. they were sending it to the PLANET Pluto… as I alluded to earlier.  Eight months after they sent the little beast on its way…. those Scientests kicked PLUTO out of our Solar System.  Yep.  My favorite planet got booted off the island.

So now…. Pluto will now be dubbed a dwarf planet.  Pluto.  A dwarf.  There are about 50 other dwarf planets out there…. from what I’ve read.  Hi Ho.  Hi Ho.  Snow White and the 50 Dwarf Planets.

As I mentioned.  We continue to learn about the deep, dark, depths of outer space.  Can it help us?  I don’t know.  Ask a Rocket Scientist that one.

But I’ll tell you… if Walt Disney kicks Pluto out of Disney World… I am going to see stars.

“All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them.” – Galileo Galilei