Hi Folks.  Maxine Here.  I am typing for Ollie the Dumbhead tonight.  She is Dingbat.  I don’t like her much.  But she was making a terrible mess when she tried to write.  So…. rather than put up with the possibility of an ink catastrophe … here is the rest of her letter.  Nice and Neat.

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Dear Everybody, all you people out there,

Hello, it is me Ollie.  Everyone calls me Ollie.  You can too.

I wanted to show you my new Bling. It is Monkey Bling. My mom says it is not bling. She says it is a Christmas Ornaphant… or something. She wants to hang it on the tree in our house. But I pee on that tree when she isn’t watching. I wish she would put a red hydrant in. Those are better.

Mom said the monkey bling is from my Uncle Ed. But I KNOW my Uncle Ed.  He lives in a place called Saddle.  Saddle Washing Tin.  Now…. HE would send me BLING. He wears cute shoes sometimes. And has impeccable taste.

Mom keeps calling him a chicken egg for some reason. She says… “Boy, that Eddie… he sure is a good egg.” I just can’t break it to her… that he is not a chicken at all.

She also keeps banging her head on the wall… and say she has been remissing. I didn’t see her try shoot baskets or anything… so I don’t know how she keeps missing over and over. But she shuffles around here saying… “I have been remiss in calling Eddie…. he sure is a chicken egg.”

Or something like that.

I tell you. Humans confuse the heck out of me. You people never sniff each other’s butts. And I have never once seen you drink out of the porcelain swirly bowl… with the silver handle. I love to drink from there. And when is the last time you circled three times before you lay down? Everyone knows you MUST do this…. prior to laying down.

No… I will never understand people. But I love them. Especially my Moms, and my Uncle Ed.  And his Monkey Bling.

Love,  Ollie

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 “True religion is real living; living with all one’s soul, with all one’s goodness and righteousness.” – Albert Einstein