On September 18, 1957, Elmer Dugall claims he was abducted by Aliens from his home in Owens County, Iowa.  He was taken aboard a UFO, and transported to the Planet Pawzania, in the Galaxy of Tunafileaish.

He was experimented on for hours, and then placed in a prison where he had to clean the Queen’s Ears every hour.  Her name was Tabbiana.  She resembled a very, very large cat.

These days, Elmer still resides on his corn farm in Owen County.  Elmer has three dogs, Jed, Buster, and Skipper.    He does not have any cats.

In fact, he is deathly afraid of them.

While Elmer cannot prove the validity of his story, friends and family say that he smells oddly of ear wax.

“Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible player” – Albert Einstein