Seldom do I come up  with any profound secrets of “living” life, or mysteries of the universe, explained.

Nope.  I leave that to the likes of Zen Masters, and Einstein, and Ghandi, and such.

I would love to write a Self Help Book…. but I can’t help myself where that is concerned.

Yet today.  I happened across a biggie.  Yes, a huge, insightful piece of information which may help the masses.  Thousands may benefit from this incredible bit of guidance in navigating life.

OKAY.  Here goes.

Let’s say you have cable or satellite TV.  I won’t name names.  But let’s JUST say…. you subscribe to something like…. Direct TV.

And… let us then say that you wish to reduce your services.  There are just too many dang channels and you don’t watch any of them. Okay, maybe eight of them. Tops.

So you try to slim down your services, and hence, your monthly bill…. on their convenient “we are there for you” website.  But hey.  They won’t let you quit things on their website.  Nope.

They say YOU must pick up the phone and speak with a friendly and helpful consumer service representative.  Okay.  You let your fingers do the walking.  You dial.

Then…. let us say….  perhaps ….  you are directed by an automated menu system.  But finally, finally… you find the place where they ask you WHAT your intention is.

You press “5 ” for “I wish to discontinue a part of my service.”

Here is my life tip:  NEVER, EVER, EVER PRESS “5” FOR I WISH TO DISCONTINUE A PART OF MY SERVICE.

This action has warned them of your intention.  They will never take you off hold.  Ever.  They will transfer you three times, and then put you back on hold for the fourth excruciating interval.  You will wait 45 minutes… listening to the recording saying how important you are to Direct TV.

You will have bruises on your forehead from hitting your noggin repeatedly on the kitchen counter top as you wait.  You will experience all the stages of grieving… denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.  You will promise away your first born son, and you don’t even have a first born son.

So.. my life tip.  Never press 5. The company you are calling does NOT wish to lose any money….  not a dime.  Soooo.  Instead, hit 2.  “I wish to increase my services by a LOT.”

They will get right with you then.

And that…. my friends…. is my advice to you there.

On the other hand… if that is the worst thing that happened to me today….

I’d say I am pretty darn lucky.  And you can press 1 on that.

“Press 2 for Espanol.”  – Author Unknown

“Luck is believing you are lucky.” – Tennessee Williams