@Fred_the_Bird:  “I’m going to eat my seeds now.”

@Bert_the_Bird:  “Ha.  I just pooped my seeds.”

EARLY TWEETS.

I don’t know why the whole Twitter thing irks me, but it does.  When the newscaster says…” the officer tweeted the information to his fellow officer… blah, blah, blah…. ”  OR they say… “There was inaccurate reporting of the incident on Twitter.”

Huh.  Ya’ think?

Welllllll…… I’m not sure why, but it is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me.

I for one, think we should leave the Tweeting for the Birds.

Yep.  Tweeting is definitely for the Birds.

“A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.” – Lou Holtz

What could possible be better that one lip?  Tulips.

We have a friend named Cindy.  We give her gifts.  When we do, we say they are Forsythia. 

A Blackbird lies all the time.  What is that bird doing?  Crocus.

Here is the deal… you see.    I don’t know Jack in the Pulpit, when it comes to flowers and plants and trees and such.

I have this very same conversation every year about this time, with some of my closest friends.

I am not sure if I would know a Daffodil from a Tulip.  Or a Cherry Tree from a Crab Apple, for that matter.

But.  I do know this much.  Each one of those flowers, or plants, or little lives… hold an incredible, individual and uniquely implicit beauty.  Each one has their own little mystery built right in.  Every one, in their own right, is a living miracle.

Most people like to look at those flowers from their front sides.

But every now and again, I think we should walk behind, and take a good look at their beauty from the other side.  The side we don’t often see.

“A thing of beauty is a joy forever; its loveliness increases; it will never pass into nothingness” – John Keats

You know, living out in the country, you get to see a lot of things that people in the big city don’t.

I wonder when the last time someone in New York City saw a horse like this!  I mean, I grew up in a city.  But never you mind that.

I have been out here in Timbuktu so long that I know how “country” works  like the back of my hand.  Shoot.

Make know mistake of it either.  That old phrase, you can take the girl out of the city, but you can’t take the city out of the girl.  Psssshhhhaaaawwww.  I would say that I am “country” to the core.

Okay, back to this here horse.  When do you think the last time some city slicker from NYC laid their eyes on a horse with horns?  Ha.  I bet not for a month of Sundays.  (That is a catchy country phrase, by the way.)

Now I for one, think this type of horse would be great at places like the Kentucky Derby, the Belmont Stakes, and such.  Those horns would take out the competitors down to the ground…..  right out of the gate.

If the thing could get out of the gate.

Yep.  That might be a problem.

But this here is a nice looking horse…. no matter how you look at it.

And as it turns out… as I was looking at her, she was looking back at me.

But I knew better than to look her in the mouth.
Because that single moment… was indeed…. a gift.  Country Style.

“Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.” – W. C . Fields

“It doesn’t matter where you are coming from. All that matters is where you are going.” – Brian Tracy

This is Clara and Will’s Wedding.  Clara was my Grandpa Ed’s Sister.  It was taken on May 6, 1924.  Look how dang happy everyone is.  Well.  That was a long time ago.

Time.  Time.  Time.

It is funny how some people wish the time away.  I guess the time isn’t being so good to them, as far as I can figure.  They do all sorts of things to make it whip on by.

You see, they have time on their hands.  They will get a knife out and whittle the time away.  Or a gun…. killing time.  Some people even get flatulence.  They’ll pass the time.  They’ll watch the clock and so much more.

These days, it seems like I am trying to gather time.  I save it… or try to.    Keeping time.   Holding on to it.  In all sorts of different ways.

Like the classic song goes… “Give me just a little more time.”

But the truth of the matter is, we can’t speed it up, or slow it down.  We can’t wish it away, or hang on to it with all we are worth.

Time passes.  Just as it does.

Here is this minute though.  This very moment.  We have that.  No more. No less.  It will be here, and then it will be gone.  It will come and be just what it is… no matter how much we anticipate it, or worry about it.

This passing of every single second….. will happen.  And then it will never, ever, be here again.

Constantly.  Unexpectedly.  Consistently.  Erratically.    All at once.  One second at a time.
Yes.  We all know just how time comes… and how it goes.

Or do we?

“There is only one you for all time. Fearlessly be yourself.” – Anthony Rapp

As silly as it may seem to some people, this little dog here, has been one of the best friends I’ve ever had.

She has taught me a lot of lessons over the years.   She knows me pretty well too.  This little dog can tell if I’m in a rough spot, or feeling sick.  She knows when I am happy.  Somehow, she senses my energy.

I can talk to her about anything really.  She never tells a soul.

A little pal, in the scruffiest of packages.

I didn’t want any part of this dog at first.  No way.  No how.

But then she showed me that what is on the outside, doesn’t necessarily match up to what is on the inside.

Thankfully, I was paying attention.
Or I would have missed out on one of the best gifts in life.

This unconditional love.  And now it works both ways….

…… even if she did pee on the rug.

And then acts all cute and innocent.

Again.

“I used to look at my dog and think, ‘If you were a little smarter you could tell me what you were thinking,’ and he’d look at me like he was saying, ‘If you were a little smarter, I wouldn’t have to – Fred Jungclaus

Things I thought about today.

What the heck was Humpty Dumpty doing up on the dang wall?

Mother Hubbard had a whacky dang house.  Talented dog though.

Does a Rubber Tree Plant really have to perish for there to be High Hopes?

I am not necessary nimble or quick.  Yet. I can jump over a candlestick….. Jack.

And….. Who did Jack Horner tick off?

Little Miss Muffett needs to get some aerobic exercise.

I guess …. that is about all I think about that.

“There are some days I practice positive thinking, and other days I’m not positive I am thinking.” – John M. Eades

My philosophy in life…. well…. one of my philosophies in life… is that we are here to learn.

The learning could mean different things, for different people.  But I don’t think there is a single one of us… who absolutely knows it all.  That would be one smart cookie, right there.

So we live.  And we learn.

Some people immediately discount that which they do not understand.  If there isn’t cold, hard factual evidence… or to the other end of the  spectrum …. …. if it doesn’t match up with their beliefs…. they throw “the idea” out the door.  Kick it to the curb.

“Chris baby.  The world is flat.  What in God’s Green Acres are you doing sailing over the edge?   That’s a good waste of a boat.  You are mad, Chris.  MAD!”

And so it goes.

I like to believe in the unknown.  I like a really good coincidence, I’ll tell you.

Some things… I certainly doubt.  Like those Ginsu Knives.  I’m not sure they really cut through aluminum cans and then slice a tomato… just like THAT.

Yet.  I do love to believe.

Especially in the serendipitous.

And today.  I tried to give away a box.  Now….  When that box fell open for the third time, spilling all over … and then on the fourth time, when the end tore open… and all the contents spilled on the floor… again….. for THAT fourth time.

It just makes you wonder.

So bet me.  I kept what was in the box.

“Coincidence is the word we use when we can’t see the levers and pulleys.” – Emma Bull

When I sit down at night to write this thing, I never really know what is going to come out.  And then, most of the time, it just comes out.  People sometimes approach me a day or two later, and say… “That was quite a metaphorical suggestion you made about the pigs, feeding at the trough.  You know, comparing them to the stock market.”  The funny thing is, I have found that what I write takes a different form for different people.  Then the next person might say….”That pig thing was hilarious.  It reminds me of our family dinner table.”

Today, I have had a lot of different things come up in my head.  Oh, mostly the normal writing material.

Why must Jell-O jiggle as it does?

Did the Romans really invent Hopscotch?

Do cats really need to go all “tripod” when they clean themselves?

Why does Limburger Cheese smell like that?

Who decided to put odd numbered houses on one side of the street, and evens on the other?

Why do wasps make hexagons?

Holy Smokes.  Sometimes, it is like a revolving door, the topics that fly by in the course of the day.  But today, my preoccupation with “numbers” has been on my mind.  It think it might be some kind of chemical imbalance or something.  I always have numbers running in my head.  For instance, if someone tells me their birth date, I go through all different numerical scenarios.  And…. I count a lot too.

Seven is my favorite number.  Eight is my second favorite.

And on, and on.

I was never, ever very fond of 13.    I didn’t have Triskaidekaphobia.  But, 13 always creeped me out.  I had a couple of minor fender benders as a younger driver.  The other driver was always cited… so I felt for a while like the driving gods were messing with me.  But.  In every car cruncher, I had either $13 or 13c in my pocket.  Oh. Other things around the number 13 happened too.  Little things.

And then Frances came along.   She is our Rescue Dog who came to us pregnant.  She had 13 puppies.  While this was a lot of pups, I felt like we were lucky to have each and every one.  I think most of them went on to be happy dogs, in their adoptive homes.

Any way…. 13 has changed again for me.  It feels a bit unlucky.  Definitely not lucky in any way.

Most certainly, it feels different.  It is a number that is going to stick with me, whether I want it to, or not.

But that is how life is.  Things change.  Things go from this to that, and back again. From right to left, and up to down.    And all of this spinning in the Universe bumps about without asking our opinion.

So what do we do, as this pattern unfolds each and  every day that we live?  I guess we should somehow trust that each moment is meant to be.  It is there to educate us…. and then… hopefully invite us to contribute our unique and necessary talents for each moment.

Like a good game of hopscotch.  Jumping the numbers.  The best we can.

“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.”  – Ralph Waldo Emerson

There aren’t really any funny cow jokes.  I checked.

You see.  There isn’t much funny about someone pulling on all four of your tits every morning and expecting you to give milk.  For nothing in return.

I’d say moo too.

Seldom do I come up  with any profound secrets of “living” life, or mysteries of the universe, explained.

Nope.  I leave that to the likes of Zen Masters, and Einstein, and Ghandi, and such.

I would love to write a Self Help Book…. but I can’t help myself where that is concerned.

Yet today.  I happened across a biggie.  Yes, a huge, insightful piece of information which may help the masses.  Thousands may benefit from this incredible bit of guidance in navigating life.

OKAY.  Here goes.

Let’s say you have cable or satellite TV.  I won’t name names.  But let’s JUST say…. you subscribe to something like…. Direct TV.

And… let us then say that you wish to reduce your services.  There are just too many dang channels and you don’t watch any of them. Okay, maybe eight of them. Tops.

So you try to slim down your services, and hence, your monthly bill…. on their convenient “we are there for you” website.  But hey.  They won’t let you quit things on their website.  Nope.

They say YOU must pick up the phone and speak with a friendly and helpful consumer service representative.  Okay.  You let your fingers do the walking.  You dial.

Then…. let us say….  perhaps ….  you are directed by an automated menu system.  But finally, finally… you find the place where they ask you WHAT your intention is.

You press “5 ” for “I wish to discontinue a part of my service.”

Here is my life tip:  NEVER, EVER, EVER PRESS “5” FOR I WISH TO DISCONTINUE A PART OF MY SERVICE.

This action has warned them of your intention.  They will never take you off hold.  Ever.  They will transfer you three times, and then put you back on hold for the fourth excruciating interval.  You will wait 45 minutes… listening to the recording saying how important you are to Direct TV.

You will have bruises on your forehead from hitting your noggin repeatedly on the kitchen counter top as you wait.  You will experience all the stages of grieving… denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.  You will promise away your first born son, and you don’t even have a first born son.

So.. my life tip.  Never press 5. The company you are calling does NOT wish to lose any money….  not a dime.  Soooo.  Instead, hit 2.  “I wish to increase my services by a LOT.”

They will get right with you then.

And that…. my friends…. is my advice to you there.

On the other hand… if that is the worst thing that happened to me today….

I’d say I am pretty darn lucky.  And you can press 1 on that.

“Press 2 for Espanol.”  – Author Unknown

“Luck is believing you are lucky.” – Tennessee Williams