“Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.” – Shel Silverstein

As I look back to my little child-dom… I wonder what I was truly like… as a little child.

My adult ways seem to indicate that there is a very… a VERY slight chance… that I was a wee-bit on the high-strung side.

My Mother used to give me a daily dose of Benedryl… to turn me down a notch at night.  This went on for a long, long time.  Which may explain a LOT.

And yet.  I think I was asking for it.

As I flip through the old family albums, I find evidence that I might have been a handful.

Or perhaps worse.  I might have been a swirling dervish.

And some things never change.

As in the photo above… it appears that in most situations…  I had to be restrained.  Albeit, awkwardly.

And below.  Well.  This is just one of those BAD family photos. Plain and simple.  In every way.   But, again…. I had to be contained.  And at some point, it appears that I had shed my outer layer of clothing.    I must have been in the midst of getting into one of my Super Hero outfits…..    Yep.  Caught here without my mask, my cape, or my tights.

How is a little hero to fly?

It doesn’t matter which side of the car the steering wheel is on.

Just so long as it keeps the ENTIRE car… safely and squarely… on the right road.

“Anyone can steer the ship when the sea is calm” – Publilius Syrus

I went through a heck of a lot of blathering, before I came to that thought.  None of it really follows. But.  Read if you’d like…..

There are some really amazing and interesting things going on in our world.

Important matters.  There are concerns about politics, and religion, and such.

But none of that tonight.  No.  This evening is all about steering wheels.

You see, tonight I volunteered for a bit at the Preble County Historical Society. (The PCHS was hosting a concert, at the newly completed and awesome Amphitheater.  It is truly quite an excellent place. AND….a great, great venue for concerts.  The Dallas Moore Band played there tonight.)

But enough of the shameless plugs.  I am the most sidetracked person I know.

Here is the thing. Tonight I wish to write about steering wheels.

I was working at the Exhibit Hall… and boy oh boy… does that place makes you think to the high heavens and back again.  Well… it makes me think until my noggin spins.  I saw a few people there tonight who weren’t moved in quite the same manner.

Any way.  I will have to write in more detail about all the nooks and crannies of that place.  I’ll tell you that much right now.  The dentist chair scared me to inner core.  And I don’t mind going to the dentist.

But I am off track.  AGAIN.

Steering DANG wheels.  What I wanted to say… WAS… in the United States, the steering wheel has not ALWAYS been on the left side.

Humphhhh.  In a 1909 Ford sales brochure…. it was noted that Old Henry “The Man” Ford moved the Model T steering to the left rather than the standard right hand position. Apparently, cars of that time period were steered from the right.  I saw historical evidence of this just tonight.

Yep.  The Brainiacs at Ford reasoned that it was safer for passengers exiting on the right (curb side) rather than into the traffic lane

They also figured that the left hand driving seat allowed the driver better visibility and better judgment when passing oncoming vehicles.

And there you have it.  Finally.  At long last.    They just moved the thing over… That’s it..  End of Story… Done Deal.  .. ….

Okay.  Personally, I think there is WAY more to it.  I speculate that some one on the assembly line stood on the wrong side one day… and they had to come up with some sort of explanation.  You know.  So they wouldn’t have to eat their losses.  So they came up with this cock and bull deal about safe driving….

And you know how fibs go.  Once you tell one… they just get bigger and bigger… until finally… you have nearly 300 million cars in the U.S. driving on the same side of the road.

It is pretty neat that we are finally getting some rain here.  I’ve been a little down and out lately.  That rain cheered me right up.

This past week, or so, we’ve actually had a few good stints… where the clouds open up… and VOILA’!  Water comes out!

I had almost forgotten what that looked and felt like.  The drought has been pretty serious business in these parts, you see.

But finally, we are getting precipitation.  I will not complain about the rain.  No way.  No how.  But I have heard some gruff and huff about it.  “Grumble. Grumble. Grumble…. rain all weekend… grumble…”

How soon we forget how it felt in the Ohio Desert Plains.

Tonight, after a great downpour, I went outside to smell the smells, and feel that “just after rain” feeling in the air.  I was breathing it all in.  When down by my foot came this handsome fella.

If it had been a snake… it would have bitten me!

Oh wait.

As it turns out, he did bite me.  Right on the tip of my finger.  But, that is what I get when I try to pick up a snake, who is grumpy about trying to put his 173 children through snake-college.

So. First he smelled me.  Then he bit me.

I am not sure what that means in the scheme of the universe.  But I do know this…..

The next time I go to pick up a snake….  I will put a little clothespin on his tongue… so he can’t smell me coming.

No.  That’s not right.

The next time I go to interupt a snake from his daily tasks…. I will first ask him if he has a few moments to spend with me.  Perhaps ask if he’d like to take a walk around the yard in my hand… or such.  Or even just sit and pitch a hissy fit.

Yes.  Maybe we could both use a good hissy fit.  But not about the rain.

“That I exist is a perpetual surprise which is life.” – Rabindranath Tagor

There are a ton of phrases in the English Language, mostly American English… that really irk me.

Irk is a word that irks me, first and foremost.  I much prefer irritate… or even… bug.  But never mind all of that.

First phrase.

“Well.  We can’t all be perfect.”

Yep.  You got that right genius.  In fact.  None of us can be perfect.  That is what makes us so dang human.

Second.

“That is the worst thing.”

For example.  Yuk.  I just took a big whiff of that carton of milk and it was sour.  Geez-O-Pete … that is the worst thing.

Wrong-O, again Mr. Smarty-Pants.  There are a lot of things that are much “worse” than the smell of sour milk.  I’ll tell you that right now.

Another….

“Oh.  I’m just killing time.”

This is perhaps the goofiest one yet.  Even if you COULD kill time, why would you want to?  Without time… well… you are out of time.  And we all knows what that means.

There are a bazillion more.  But I won’t bore you tonight.

The one that irks me the most…

“It is what it is.”

And to that, I say….

Are you sure?

There’s a world of difference between truth and facts. Facts can obscure the truth. – Maya Angelou

The bottom line is this.

I… am a TootleHead.  Not just any ordinary TootleHead.  No.  I am a big, fat, hairy Polly-Waddle-Doodle-All-The-Day-TootleHead.

The past 24 hours or so …  the air has been whistling right through my ears.  I tootled like a dang flute.

Proof?  You need proof, you say?

Okay.

Tonight, I got in to the shower and realized I still had my socks on.  That’s a TootleHead thing to do.

At breakfast this morning, I dropped an entire bowl of grits on the kitchen floor.  Not so good for me.  Good for the dogs.

I drove several miles on I-70 today.  Unfortunately, I was headed in the wrong direction.  Tootle.

This afternoon, I really felt like having a Grilled Chicken Sandwich from McDonald’s.  So I stopped and picked one up.  Either it is still sitting on their counter… or that chicken sandwich is on the road somewhere between Eaton and Camden.  (And the wind goes whipping the down plains… Tootle).

And this might be the icing on the cake today.  I had to go to the big Wal-mart… for I needed many different things.. and wanted to pick them up as quickly as possible.  $174 odd dollars worth of things.  Next, I decided my car was dirty from all that highway-driving… albeit in the wrong direction.  So, I needed a quick stop at the car wash.

Wellllll… it helps if you close your trunk…. after you’ve just stopped at the Wal-mart… and placed $174  worth of merchandise in said trunk.

TootleHead.  I only realized it was open… when….  in the final phase of the wash… during the big blowing dryers… that I heard the trunk slam shut.

Soggy trunk.  Soggy merchandise.  But very, very,  clean.

So  tonight, I am sitting very still, and hoping that… somehow… I can make it to bed time without stepping on a dog, knocking over a glass, or breaking the computer.  There is a wall I will probably walk into….  head first.

But sometimes… it simply goes that way.  And tomorrow is another day.

“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.” – John Powell

Little Faubus McPherson the Mouse had a lot to look forward to.  He had just planned the vacation of a mouse lifetime.

First, he would visit Greece.  This, the country with the highest cheese consumption in the world per capita.  Having never tried Feta….. Faubus KNEW THIS would be big.

Next to Egypt.  Remains of cheese has been found in Egyptian tombs over 4000 years old.  And THIS…. he had to see.

Finally… off to the Viederhaasen Farm in Sweden.  They make Moose Cheese there.

Twenty minutes before he was scheduled to drive to the airport.. McPherson got a call from his doctor.  Apparently, little Faubus was Lactose Intolerant.

Oh Fiddle-Dee-Cheese-Sticks…. … was not the best news.  Be that what it may,  Faubus was determined.  So he stopped by the pharmacy for a healthy supply of Lactaid.   And… and……  off …. he flew.

“There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.” – Beverly Sills

Some days… you just wake up… and you had better figure on ducking.

Ducking and Dodging.  Sometimes, that is best.

If someone hollers… “DUCK!”  You better do it.  Don’t look around to see if Donald or Daffy are in the near vicinity.  Nope.  Just duck.

On other days, it is good to put up the strong front.  If you need to… stand and be strong.  Secure.  Boundaries, and all.  Hold your ground, like a bull.  But other times…. it is good to be like a duck.

Water rolls right off their backs.  That is a pretty neat quality.  And… they frequently quack up.

Now, me.  I can be like a lot like a sponge.  I let it all soak right in…. to the core of me.    A spongy bull.  There is nothing… I’ll tell you…. NOTHING… very pretty about spongy bulls.  Yet, there I am…

No.  From here on out, I will try to be more like a duck.  Polly Wants A Quacker.

And one last thing.  A side bar.

If I have to be a duck… I want to look like this one.  A duck with a great HairDO.  A Phyllis Diller Duck.  Yep.  There is a lot to be said for being a bit on the goofy side.  I bet I would have my duck-hair done at the Duck Hair Salon.. and then when I would waddle out… I’d say… “Just put it on my bill.”

 
“Happy As A Duck In Water.” – Ancient Proverb

If my family had been born in a different place, in a different time, I think we would have been one of two things.

A family of Russian Czars.  OR… farmers.

I tend to lean more toward the former than the latter.  However, I think we would have made a good family of farmers.

There are a bunch of us.  Some are pretty good growers.  The ones of us who aren’t so green-thumbish… well… we are good hole-diggers, and plowers.

I have one brother in particular who would have made our farm pretty neat.  We would have beautiful rows of vegetables.  But the rows would have some sort of swirl or embellishment.

Birds would probably fly from hundreds of miles away, just to see the aerial view.

He would be a master canner, and pickle-maker.

He would make great pies from the apples in our orchard.

He would hand sew our little farming uniforms.

Like the Von Trapps… only better.  We would sing like them… but we wouldn’t be in Nazi Germany.

We would do all our chores, and play until dark.  We’d do it with all our hearts… I bet.

As it is… now… we are merely a family of …. regular people.  But we sure do know our corn.

“The most striking difference between little ones and grownups is that little ones cannot worry, and they cannot worry because they have no past and no future. They live only in the present moment. Just watch children. If they play, they play and don’t even hear us call them and don’t notice anything that is going on around them. If they eat, they eat; if they sleep, they sleep. There is a beautiful English word which describes how they do whatever they do, they do it ‘whole-heartedly’, whereas grownups always are half-hearted.” – Maria Von Trapp

Psssst.  Hey you.  Little bug over there.

Yeah?  What can I do you for Mr. Butterfly?

Say.  Are you the little fella that everyone is talking about?  The one who was flying around the cow barn?

Yep.  That’s Me.

Rumor has it …. you flew in there while Farmer Brown was milking Bessie.

Yep.  That’s what I did.

They are saying that you flew into Bessie’s ear… and then a minute later… you squirted out into the milk bucket. =

Yep.  It seems I flew in one ear… and out the udder.

Whoa.

“Forget about likes and dislikes. They are of no consequence. Just do what must be done. This may not be happiness but it is greatness.” – George Bernard Shaw