Things I thought about today.

What the heck was Humpty Dumpty doing up on the dang wall?

Mother Hubbard had a whacky dang house.  Talented dog though.

Does a Rubber Tree Plant really have to perish for there to be High Hopes?

I am not necessary nimble or quick.  Yet. I can jump over a candlestick….. Jack.

And….. Who did Jack Horner tick off?

Little Miss Muffett needs to get some aerobic exercise.

I guess …. that is about all I think about that.

“There are some days I practice positive thinking, and other days I’m not positive I am thinking.” – John M. Eades

My philosophy in life…. well…. one of my philosophies in life… is that we are here to learn.

The learning could mean different things, for different people.  But I don’t think there is a single one of us… who absolutely knows it all.  That would be one smart cookie, right there.

So we live.  And we learn.

Some people immediately discount that which they do not understand.  If there isn’t cold, hard factual evidence… or to the other end of the  spectrum …. …. if it doesn’t match up with their beliefs…. they throw “the idea” out the door.  Kick it to the curb.

“Chris baby.  The world is flat.  What in God’s Green Acres are you doing sailing over the edge?   That’s a good waste of a boat.  You are mad, Chris.  MAD!”

And so it goes.

I like to believe in the unknown.  I like a really good coincidence, I’ll tell you.

Some things… I certainly doubt.  Like those Ginsu Knives.  I’m not sure they really cut through aluminum cans and then slice a tomato… just like THAT.

Yet.  I do love to believe.

Especially in the serendipitous.

And today.  I tried to give away a box.  Now….  When that box fell open for the third time, spilling all over … and then on the fourth time, when the end tore open… and all the contents spilled on the floor… again….. for THAT fourth time.

It just makes you wonder.

So bet me.  I kept what was in the box.

“Coincidence is the word we use when we can’t see the levers and pulleys.” – Emma Bull

When I sit down at night to write this thing, I never really know what is going to come out.  And then, most of the time, it just comes out.  People sometimes approach me a day or two later, and say… “That was quite a metaphorical suggestion you made about the pigs, feeding at the trough.  You know, comparing them to the stock market.”  The funny thing is, I have found that what I write takes a different form for different people.  Then the next person might say….”That pig thing was hilarious.  It reminds me of our family dinner table.”

Today, I have had a lot of different things come up in my head.  Oh, mostly the normal writing material.

Why must Jell-O jiggle as it does?

Did the Romans really invent Hopscotch?

Do cats really need to go all “tripod” when they clean themselves?

Why does Limburger Cheese smell like that?

Who decided to put odd numbered houses on one side of the street, and evens on the other?

Why do wasps make hexagons?

Holy Smokes.  Sometimes, it is like a revolving door, the topics that fly by in the course of the day.  But today, my preoccupation with “numbers” has been on my mind.  It think it might be some kind of chemical imbalance or something.  I always have numbers running in my head.  For instance, if someone tells me their birth date, I go through all different numerical scenarios.  And…. I count a lot too.

Seven is my favorite number.  Eight is my second favorite.

And on, and on.

I was never, ever very fond of 13.    I didn’t have Triskaidekaphobia.  But, 13 always creeped me out.  I had a couple of minor fender benders as a younger driver.  The other driver was always cited… so I felt for a while like the driving gods were messing with me.  But.  In every car cruncher, I had either $13 or 13c in my pocket.  Oh. Other things around the number 13 happened too.  Little things.

And then Frances came along.   She is our Rescue Dog who came to us pregnant.  She had 13 puppies.  While this was a lot of pups, I felt like we were lucky to have each and every one.  I think most of them went on to be happy dogs, in their adoptive homes.

Any way…. 13 has changed again for me.  It feels a bit unlucky.  Definitely not lucky in any way.

Most certainly, it feels different.  It is a number that is going to stick with me, whether I want it to, or not.

But that is how life is.  Things change.  Things go from this to that, and back again. From right to left, and up to down.    And all of this spinning in the Universe bumps about without asking our opinion.

So what do we do, as this pattern unfolds each and  every day that we live?  I guess we should somehow trust that each moment is meant to be.  It is there to educate us…. and then… hopefully invite us to contribute our unique and necessary talents for each moment.

Like a good game of hopscotch.  Jumping the numbers.  The best we can.

“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.”  – Ralph Waldo Emerson

There aren’t really any funny cow jokes.  I checked.

You see.  There isn’t much funny about someone pulling on all four of your tits every morning and expecting you to give milk.  For nothing in return.

I’d say moo too.

Seldom do I come up  with any profound secrets of “living” life, or mysteries of the universe, explained.

Nope.  I leave that to the likes of Zen Masters, and Einstein, and Ghandi, and such.

I would love to write a Self Help Book…. but I can’t help myself where that is concerned.

Yet today.  I happened across a biggie.  Yes, a huge, insightful piece of information which may help the masses.  Thousands may benefit from this incredible bit of guidance in navigating life.

OKAY.  Here goes.

Let’s say you have cable or satellite TV.  I won’t name names.  But let’s JUST say…. you subscribe to something like…. Direct TV.

And… let us then say that you wish to reduce your services.  There are just too many dang channels and you don’t watch any of them. Okay, maybe eight of them. Tops.

So you try to slim down your services, and hence, your monthly bill…. on their convenient “we are there for you” website.  But hey.  They won’t let you quit things on their website.  Nope.

They say YOU must pick up the phone and speak with a friendly and helpful consumer service representative.  Okay.  You let your fingers do the walking.  You dial.

Then…. let us say….  perhaps ….  you are directed by an automated menu system.  But finally, finally… you find the place where they ask you WHAT your intention is.

You press “5 ” for “I wish to discontinue a part of my service.”

Here is my life tip:  NEVER, EVER, EVER PRESS “5” FOR I WISH TO DISCONTINUE A PART OF MY SERVICE.

This action has warned them of your intention.  They will never take you off hold.  Ever.  They will transfer you three times, and then put you back on hold for the fourth excruciating interval.  You will wait 45 minutes… listening to the recording saying how important you are to Direct TV.

You will have bruises on your forehead from hitting your noggin repeatedly on the kitchen counter top as you wait.  You will experience all the stages of grieving… denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.  You will promise away your first born son, and you don’t even have a first born son.

So.. my life tip.  Never press 5. The company you are calling does NOT wish to lose any money….  not a dime.  Soooo.  Instead, hit 2.  “I wish to increase my services by a LOT.”

They will get right with you then.

And that…. my friends…. is my advice to you there.

On the other hand… if that is the worst thing that happened to me today….

I’d say I am pretty darn lucky.  And you can press 1 on that.

“Press 2 for Espanol.”  – Author Unknown

“Luck is believing you are lucky.” – Tennessee Williams

A few years back, I had a dream.  It was one of those sleep-dream-states that seemed incredibly real.  You know the kind.

At any rate, this one in particular was about my perfect dog.  I was playing with him, and we were just romping around, like a girl and her dog would……  on any given Wednesday afternoon.  In the dream, the dog’s name was Henry.  I still have a very clear picture of the little scruffy canine in my head.  Little Mutt.  Cute.  He looked a teensy bit like Ollie.

Anyway, I just couldn’t figure where the name Henry came from, but I’ll tell you, it is the best name for a boy dog.  In my estimation, at least.

Tonight then, I learned about a guy named Henry Bergh.

I’d never heard his name before.  As it turns out, this guy was really something.  You see, on this date, April 10th… way, way back in the year of 1866, Old Henry founded the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals in New York City.  Now how about THAT?

He was incensed by the cruelty that was happening to animals, in things like slaughterhouses, and within sport, such as cock fighting.

Then…. on April 19th, the first anti-cruelty law was passed as a result. At that time, there were three staff members at the ASPCA.  Three.

In 1867, ASPCA operated its first ambulance for injured horses and advocated alternatives for inhumane actions toward animals such as horses, live pigeons, cats and dogs.  When I think of 1867, I don’t think of people being concerned for the well-being of animals.  But apparently, some folks were.  And I am glad for that.  They led the way.

Happy Birthday kind  Henry.  You are one of my heroes.  Good dog Henry.  Good dog.

“Nothing that I can do will change the structure of the universe. But maybe, by raising my voice I can help the greatest of all causes – goodwill among men and peace on earth.” – Albert Einstein

“Woof.  Wooooooof.” – Maxine Virginia Swift

Let’s just say, for the sake of argument that there is a jolly big, plumply pleasant, Fairy Godmother.  With wings and all.  And one day, she floats down from Venus, or somewhere, and touches down among us mortals here on earth.

Quite lovely, she is.  Yes.  The Grand and Honorable Fairy Godmother looks a lot like Russell Crowe in drag.  Cutie little wings, and a Lavender Satin Dress.  Little purple MaryJane shoes, with her ankles spilling over the tops.

(Personal shout out  TO ED:  Should the dress be Satin or Silk?)

Okay, back to the story.

The Fairy Godmother, (Beatrice is her given name), comes down, and…. unexpectedly for you….  lands smack dab in your living room.  She sprinkles about her sparkly dust, and waves her wand.. and says….

“You!  You there, in the recliner, watching  Dancing With The Stars...  Today, the humans must change. From this point on, you will be animals. In the next 3 minutes… you must decide.  Which animal will you be?

Well?
What would you be?

At first, I thought it might be fun to be a bird.  The flying part of it, and all.  But then.  No.  Not for me.  The thought of a steady diet of worms… or seeds.  And the housing isn’t that great either. Nope.

And then of course, monkey came to mind.  You all know I love a good Sock Monkey.   AND, I am crazy about bananas.  And climbing trees.  Yes, I think this would be in the running for me.  But I don’t like the thought of other monkeys picking through my fur and such.

Hmmmm.  Hey.

Dolphin.  I love to swim.  I love fish.  I could still be a mammal.  A swimming mammal.  With a perpetual grin on my face.  Yeah.  I might ask for Dolphin.

Of course, by this time, my three minutes have been up eight minutes ago, and the Fairy Godmother has lost her patience.  And, by this point, she has already turned me into a weasel or something.  Unexpectedly.

Weasel.

I guess that’s not so bad.   I’d be the star of a popular child’s song… and I could eat all the chicken eggs I wanted.

Yep.  I do SO enjoy a good chicken egg, I’ll tell you.  Over easy.  I like a lot of things….. over easy.

If there were a Fairy Godmother, that is.

“The best things in life are unexpected – because there were no expectations.” – Eli Khamarov

Certain people in life… really find their niche.  You know.
They grab the bull by the horns.  They lasso the moon.  They find their groove.  They reach for the stars.

But me?  I’m still looking for it.  You see, sometimes I am a  bit of of a mental midget.  I have been told such to my face, on occasion.

I think I’m asking for it, really.  There are times when …  I am inclined to say things like….  “Sure.  I can see your butt… do you want to know who the first guy was to see Uranus.?”

Yes.  That is how I am.   But seriously, the first guy to really SEE Uranus, was ONE incredible man.  His name was David Rittenhouse.  Dave, old boy.  Davey Ritt.

He  lived from April 8, 1732 to June 26, 1796.  Yep.  Today is his birthday.  He was a renowned American astronomer, inventor, clockmaker, mathematician, surveyor, scientific instrument craftsman and public official.

Quite the guy, I’ll tell you.   From a very young age, he was like some kind of genius.  When his uncle died, Rittenhouse inherited his uncle’s set of carpentry tools and instructional books.  And, while most kids would leave them out in the rain or something, Davey Boy, using his uncle’s tools…..  began a career as an inventor.

He showed a high level of intelligence by creating a working scale model of his grandfather’s paper mill.  The kid was self-taught  for crying out loud.   He knew math and science… like crazy.  When Rittenhouse was 13 years of age, he had mastered Isaac Newton’s laws of motion and gravity.

The kid never went to school.

Rittenhouse was one of the first to build a telescope in the United States. His telescope, which utilized natural spider silk to form the reticle, was used to observe and record part of the transit of Venus across the sun on June 3, 1769, as well as the planet’s atmosphere.  Now.  How is THAT for thinking things through?

In 1781 Rittenhouse became the first American to sight Uranus.  See?  I told you.
It goes on and on.  His skills varied far and wide.

He was treasurer of Pennsylvania from 1777 to 1789, and with these skills and the help of George Washington, he became the first director of the United States Mint.

On April 2, 1792, the United States Mint opened its doors, but would not produce coins for almost four months.   Here is the deal.  Rittenhouse believed that the design of the coin made the coin a piece of artwork. The first coins were made from flatware that was provided by Washington himself on the morning of July 30, 1792.   Really something I’ll tell you.

I mean, the guy ran with Benny Frank, and Tommy Jeff.

So yes.  I think he found his Mojo.  From early, early on.

Now me?  I don’t know that I will ever find my niche.  My thing.  That person I want to be when I grow up.  Disappointing, I know.  I’d love to find my Mojo.

Maybe someday. Some how.

Just perhaps…..  I will be able to see something like Uranus.

“The greatest discoveries have come from people who have looked at a standard situation and seen it differently.” – Ira Erwin

My today was probably a lot different than yours.  That is how it goes, really.  We each have our own little todays, in our own little lives, in our own little worlds.

Just for the record.

Today…. mine was filled with….

Chicken Eggs.
Circuitry.
Caffeine.
Funky Texts.
Nature Walks.
Carcasses.
Ant Hills.
Busy Work.
Phone Calls.
Laundry.
Other Chores.
Sunshine.
Drives in the Country.
Time with Friends.
Salmon Tacos topped with Cucumber Sauce.
Lentil Soup with Avocados.
Talk of Teacup Pigs.
Tricky Carpet.
Laughs in the Car.
Basketball.
Dogs.
People.
Person.
Love.

Yep.  All of our todays appear to be different.  It is much like each person has their own individual bubble.   It bobs about from here to there.  But the thing of it is… all our bubbles came from the same pool of water.  And we are really floating around ALL together.  Bumping in to one another.  Sometimes in a good way.  And sometimes…. not so much.

I should always remember, that my bubble and your bubble….. while very unique and singular…. are….  at the same time…. very much alike.  And very much connected.

And that is how the big pond works.  At least…. on the surface.

“Tug on anything at all and you’ll find it connected to everything else in the universe.”- john Muir

Ted loved the way life felt when he got on his bike… and could RIDE.

On Tuesday, when he went out for a spin…. Ted felt larger than life.  The wind in his bolts.  Yes.  He was moving on down the highway.  A robot without a care in the world.

Yet, in the back of his circuits.. . he knew the weight of the world was large.  Very large indeed.

And suddenly, Ted realized just how small he really was.  Oh.  Just a little bit of wire, and sprockets, and metal… and of course…. a whole lot of nuts.

Most certainly.  A whole lot of nuts.

Yet.  In the bigger picture, he felt very infinitesimal.

“Whatever you do may seem insignificant, but it is most important that you do it” – Mahatma Gandhi