This evening I did one of my favorite things.

I went to the Cow Races.

It is riveting, really. For those of you who don’t know much about it, here are some great tips. First off… every now and again… you can catch a race for free. Like when the cows are just practicing in a field somewhere… on their own. Those are pretty much fun, I’ll tell you.

But most of the time you have to go to an organized event, and buy a ticket from the farmer. I think the Holstein Races are the best. There is just so much estrogen out there on the field. Things can get really dicey. I always go early and get a good seat in the bleachers. Sometimes, I’ll buy my tickets in advance… at www.cowraces.com

Let’s see. What are some other tips? Oh. I don’t like to go to Bull Races. Most of them are retired Bull Fight-ees, from Spain. They are cocky. Beef Jerks! And if anyone is wearing red at the race…. well… all bets are off.

And one more thing.. if you don’t like milk, cheese, or ice-cream… you’d better pack your own snack. Those are the only things they sell at the Concession Stand.

Tonight was great though. At the start of the second race… Cow # 83 bumped into Cow # 231 on the first turn. Holy smokes. Talk about a girl fight. There was an all-out Bovine Brawl right there at the dell. The farmer had to go down into the dell. The wife stood alone. The wife stood alone. Hi. Ho. There were hooves and udders all over the place. What a rumpus. I swear… those girls must have been drinking at the Dairy Bar beforehand.

But back to it. I bet on Cow #917 in the final race tonight. Yeah, baby…. I made a killing. (Uh. Maybe that’s not the best phraseology around cows.) Yep. 917 crossed the finish line first… she was all out moseying… I raked in $3.27 on that ticket. Spine-tingling action.

A winning race.
Cold Milk and Swiss Cheese.
The smell of manure on the cusp of the breeze.
It just doesn’t get any better than this.

Yoo Hoo.

Everyone is afraid of something. I certainly am.

Are you familiar with those t-shirts that say “No Fear”? Those people are spoofing us, I think.

No, I don’t believe them for a minute. No brains, maybe. No fear? Not likely.

People are fearful of all sorts of different things. What may be a silly fear to one person… can be quite terrifying to another. Sometimes we “get over” our fears. Other times, they lock us up tight. Stop us in our tracks. Hold us at bay. You get the idea.

It seems that here lately, there are a lot of social and political fears.

Well… for instance…. there are certain folks who are afraid of having a Mormon president. Others have fears that we have a black President. Different individuals might dread a female president from Alaska.
Some people are frightful of Homosexuals. Still others are terrified of the Tea Party. It goes on and on and on….

But, I’ll tell you… try not to worry about those things. They just don’t compare to the greatest threat of all…

Greg, the Giant Garden Gnome.

Ever had that sneaky feeling someone was watching you? Or hear an unexplainable noise….? Felt a sultry and sudden shift in the wind? Or perhaps you’ve noticed, from time to time, an overpowering aroma of warm Twinkies?

Yep. It’s Greg. You should fear Greg. He’s not like you… and he’s getting bigger every day. Don’t let that crappy grin fool you either. It is a ruse. Greg the Giant Garden Gnome. Scary.

Sort of like… buy WAY, WAY worse… than any of those other fears.

I always try to catch these things on film… but you know…
“Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop.”

OK. I know I say this every dang time I get home from a trip, but here it is… once again… just for the record.

I am a homebody. With a capital H. Big surprise. Second verse, same as the first.

They say courage is the power to let go of the familiar. But they also say… “There’e no place like home. There’s no place like home.” I lean toward the latter.

Don’t get me wrong. I love to travel, and explore, and experience. To every corner of the earth… one cannot help but wonder what this glorious world might have to offer. I know I do. Yes. Utah was a great trip indeed…. probably one of my favorite vacations that we’ve ever taken. Uplifting.

But when this old gal gets back on familiar ground… it feels just like…. coming home.

Well, technically, it IS coming home. Let me try another analogy.

It is probably how peanut butter feels… when it meets jelly.
When eggs find bacon.
Like key meets lock. Moth to a light. Salt with Pepper. Needle and Thread.
Like flies on shi……. well, let’s just stop there. That’s not such a great example.

Coming home. You know how when someone wins the Super Bowl & the reporter asks them… “Hey Joe Quarterback. You just won the Super Bowl. Now what are you going to do?” And the mega-star-athlete says “I’m going to Disney World.” Well… I know what I would say…”I’m going Home!”

It is the love that you feel when you walk through the door.
The people that have missed you and are glad you’ve returned.
The hearts that have kept a place for you… and welcome you in.

Yes. But as many times as the phrase has been used…

Ultimately….
“Home is where the heart is.”

Where ever you go.

Some things I saw today….

Well who the heck knew about Utah?  What a beguiling state.   We are talking… razzle dazzle, dashing and debonair, classic… yet modish.  Beautiful.  If Utah were a movie character, it would be a cross between Indiana Jones… and Glenda the Good Witch.

This is our last night here, so I am wrapping up with a few images of some things we saw today.  We took a hike up into Snow Canyon.  We followed a trail called Three Ponds.  The entire time we walked the path, Mary told me there was a big perk at the turn-around.  Imagine my surprise when we reached that point… and low and behold….  the perkiest of perks….. three ponds.  It seemed more like three puddles actually.  But getting there and back was truly majestic.

We saw much wildlife.  The abundance of creatures…. living and thriving in this sandy, erosive, rocky terrain… is quite amazing.   We did not see a single rattle snake though.  For that…. I am very glad.  Grateful.

Every now and again…. I have a bit of a struggle with heights.  Oh, you should have seen the places I stood today.  I had to climb up rocky-high-steeply places to get there.  I really could have peed my pants a couple of times.  But I made it….

Today was remarkable. Wondrous.  Very good, I’ll tell you. I saw a multitude of things I have never seen before. 

And here I am… at just one tiny little pinpoint on the map.  It made me think about everything that simultaneously exists… right now… at this moment…. all round the world.   Just consider the many things that are happening.. to people you don’t know…. and creatures you have never witnessed…. at this very, very instant.   Oh what a world we live in.

But don’t you know….. it can’t ALL be good.  This morning at our hotel breakfast buffet… the only choice was scrambled egg whites with tofu.  Seriously. Tofu. Anything called Toe-Foo sounds WAY too close to Toe-Jam. And the thought of eating that…. scares me. Terribly. Much worse than my fear of heights.

I am absolutely feeling the need to go home and stir up a huge pot of grits.

“Home is not where you live, but where they understand you”
-Christian Morganstern

These are things I don’t often see in Camden, Ohio. Well…. I don’t see them in Camden….. ever.

But today, I took in many wonderful sights.

In fact, the day was filled with the circular. Everywhere I went, and every thing I did, seemed to be in the round.

There were circles, both of great magnitude and very small stature.

And as a result…. life seemed very spherical to me today. Everything felt connected, like it is all attached…. like we are all somehow connected.

I had quite a touching spiritual experience walking the “Circle of Rocks” near the canyon.

I was pretty emotional as I completed this passage.

(I wonder if this is why people like NASCAR Racing so much…..)

Ahh.  But the circle has no beginning, and no end.  It just goes round, and round.

Watch your thoughts, they become your words.
Watch your words, they become your actions.
Watch your actions, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.
– Bill P.

Friendship is a wonderful gift. But I am pretty certain, other beings… other than human beings… can forge friendships of the most remarkable sort.

My dogs are MY friends. My dogs are confidantes with one another.

You never know who you’ll bump into in Utah. Today I met Lucy and Sadie. They hung out together like a couple of old ladies at the church basement bingo. I would definitely say these girls were pals.

Lucy seemed to watch over Sadie… protect her… make sure she was doing okay. Even when it came time for Sadie to do some deep knee bends… Lucy kept an eye out for trouble. (At least…. I THINK Sadie was doing knee bends…. )

Yep. I’d say they were good pals… taking care of one another, in just the right way.

I guess that’s what doggies DO.

“If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together….. there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart….. I’ll always be with you.”
-Winnie the Pooh

Complacency is an easy place to settle down in.   One stops looking, seeing, and noticing.  Everything becomes status quo.  Maybe even boring.  “When will something good happen?”  “When will I find true happiness?” “I am so bored right now.”   And on.   Who hasn’t wondered these things from time to time?

Early this morning, before the sun came up… I walked up to the entrance of Snow Canyon. It became apparent to me that happiness and contentedness aren’t dependent on something in the future. It is really more a matter of being comfortable in the present. This moment is really the only thing that is happening. Time is a continuum. But the only part that we “have” is the “right now.” The past is over and done with… we can’t alter it. The future hasn’t happened yet… and once it transpires… it will be this very moment in time.

It is beautiful here. Vivid. Unique. Bold & Colorful. I am seeing things I’ve never seen before. Unfortunately, I didn’t see that pile of Roadrunner poop on the trail…. now THAT was a real present!

“In rivers, the water that you touch is the last of what has passed and the first of that which comes; so with present time.”
-Leonardo di Vinci

Today I decided to fly out to a little state called Utah.

It was an early start. The alarm went off at 3:45 a.m. That is an early start for me.
The clock on the wall tells me it is now some 20 hours later, and I am tired.

So my funny bone is kind of sleepy too.  Not to mention my thinking cap.

Before the sandman gets me…. I’ll make a couple of observances though.

I enjoy an airport Egg McMuffin every now and again.

Flying through turbulence makes you wish you hadn’t eaten that every-now-and-again-McMuffin.

Something I didn’t know about Utah….. It is called the Beehive State. I haven’t seen one bee yet. There hasn’t been an excessive amount of honey anywhere either. I think the obvious nomenclature is not in place here.  I am guessing that a whole-kaboodle of the women in Utah have really big hair. Hence the state nickname.

And one more thing, before I turn myself into a pumpkin.

The State Cooking Pot is the Dutch Oven.

The Ubiquitous Dutch Oven.  I am not even sure if Ohio or South Carolina have State Cooking Pots…..  State Pots?

But here is another fact I have noticed throughout the day…. there are a ton of cool rocks.   All over the place..  I love rocks. I would have rocks everywhere if it were all up to me. Rocking.

And finally, I think you rock.

There are phenomena in this world which I call “Teeny-Go-Wrongs”

One little Teeny-Go-Wrong all by itself, isn’t much. But a bunch of them all together sure can add up. Today was one of those days. Yes it was filled with a lot of Teeny-Go-Wrongs.

I went to pick up a prescription this morning. I try to clump a bunch of errands together when I go in to town. It just make sense to me to do it that way. My first stop was the bank… an annoyingly long wait, for no apparent reason.

Second on the agenda was the Hardware Store. I wanted to have 3 door keys made. (Not one of them worked when I later arrived home.)

Next on the list… gas up the car. I always pay at the pump with a credit card. When I was finished… the pump flashed a “Please See Cashier” message. So in I went. After another long wait at the counter, it was finally my turn. The cashier said begrudgingly, “Can I help you?”
I responded… “I hope you can. I am supposed to see you.”
“Wha….” she countered.
“Pump Number Two told me to come and see you. It asked politely. So here I am.”
The cashier punched at the little gray machine positioned on the countertop. She wiped her nose, long and hard, on the back of her sleeve. “Nope. I don’t need anything,” she surmised.
“Hmmm.” I said. “I thought perhaps you did something special…. sang, or juggled, or magic tricks … since the pump wanted me to come see you. Do you do anything?”
She stared at me blankly.  Perhaps angrily.
“Do I at least get a toy, or a prize, for coming in and seeing you?” I angled.
To which, she uttered, “I don’t understand what you mean.”
“That’s OK. I don’t understand what the pump meant either. I’ll ask it on my way out… Thanks.”  (I am not entirely sure why I thanked her.)
Pump Number Two was steadfast in its biddings. “Please See Cashier”

Grocery. Next stop. The place was buzzing. It must have been 8-for-1 coupon day… or something. At the checkout, I asked the cashier, Trevor, for “All paper please.”
After completing the monetary transaction, he proceeded to bag the first items in plastic.
“Hey Trevor. Would you mind putting those in paper please.”
“Oh sure.” ………….One bag complete.  Next one… back to plastic.
“Trevor, how about using paper for me bud?”
“Oh sure. Sorry. I forgot. I’m under 18.”

Now, I am not sure what the connection is there….  the correlation with being under 18 and memory loss.  I simply don’t know….

Pump Number Two seemed to stay more on track.

I am certain that the numerous “Teeny-Go-Wrongs” wore me down.
I finally made my way home… and forgot to pick up my prescription…. which was the entire purpose of the trip.

My only recourse was to walk to the pond… and watch the leaves float.

“Great events make me quiet and calm; it is only trifles that irritate my nerves.”
– Queen Victoria

Seems to me, a lot of men who are about my age, buy a motorcycle.   I’m just saying.  They get a little gray on the ol’ noodle… or spawn a shiny spot at the top of their heads… and go out and buy a Harley. Or an Indian… or some kind of a ride.  A hog.

On occasion, the Mid-Life Crisis Man looks good on a bike. Other times…..

Wellllll…. let’s just say the black knee socks with the white gym shoes tend to detract…. ever-so-slightly …. from the Cool Factor.

I am not sure what the real reason is for this trend among the 50+ blokes.

Now if I were inclined to buy a bike… it would be just like the kind I had when I was 5 or 6 years old. I loved that old bike. It was blue with white handle grips which had yellowed and cracked with age.   Oh… and Training Wheels.

This bike had been through 4 or 5 siblings before me. It was a boy’s model. I used to wash that thing right alongside my older brother, as he washed the family car. It had those plastic fringy strings hanging out of the handle bars. A shiny metal horn with a black bulb of a honker. That was great fun, I’ll tell you.

I always put a playing card between the spokes. I attached it with a wooden clothes pin. The sound it made was the best… that bbbhhhhtttthhhhhhhd when you went real fast… and that phthp… phthp… phthp… when you crept along.

Once, my Aunt Doty told me that diamonds were a girl’s best friend. (She and I shared the same birthstone. Diamond.)  So when I would select my card out from the deck… I always took the diamonds.  Seven was my first choice. Then the Ace, Queen… it goes on.

Ahhhh….. I wonder how many times my folks had friends over to play Bridge… and the decks came up short on diamonds. I bet it happened a lot.

But yes. That is the kind of bike I would buy now. Training wheels and all. I’d get it in my size. I mean, riding around on a tiny little bike would just be silly.

Okay, so I know the cool factor might not be ALL there. Yet I think ultimate beauty can be defined by whatever gives you joy.

I would have to have keep the training wheels though. It was my favorite thing about my first bike.

As adults, maybe that is what we need in our lives sometimes. Training wheels. Just because we are older, doesn’t mean any one of us knows everything. We shouldn’t pretend to.  We are not perfect, after all.

But a good set of training wheels as we try to navigate through life would be…. the best. We could bobble back and forth a little bit, when things get rocky. We might wobble, but we wouldn’t fall down. And…. in the end, we could maintain our balance, and keep rolling along down the path.

“You can do anything, but not everything.”

– David Allen