{"id":766,"date":"2014-04-30T23:41:25","date_gmt":"2014-05-01T03:41:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/?p=766"},"modified":"2014-04-30T23:43:28","modified_gmt":"2014-05-01T03:43:28","slug":"greener-grass","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/?p=766","title":{"rendered":"Greener Grass"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/elsa.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-767\" src=\"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/elsa.jpg\" alt=\"elsa\" width=\"700\" height=\"685\" srcset=\"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/elsa.jpg 700w, https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/elsa-300x293.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>One day Elsa woke up, rolled out of her straw, and realized she didn\u2019t feel like being a Dairy Cow any more.<\/p>\n<p>She had had enough.\u00a0 The early mornings.\u00a0 The endless milkings.\u00a0 The preponderance of Udder Jokes.\u00a0\u00a0 People driving by and yelling out their car windows\u2026. \u201cGot Milk?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Enough.<\/p>\n<p>So she packed her little nylon suitcase and traveled to far, far away, Thailand.\u00a0 There, she sought out\u00a0 a Guru.\u00a0 A wise teacher.\u00a0 Named Carl.<\/p>\n<p>She had traveled long hours\u2026 and a great distance.\u00a0 Which is very difficult for a cow with a nylon suitcase.\u00a0 Airline restrictions and all.\u00a0 But anyway.<\/p>\n<p>Elsa finally made her way up Carl\u2019s Mountain\u2026 and then down, down through a Bad Cavern.<\/p>\n<p>And she asked.\u00a0 \u201cOh wise one.\u00a0 I am tired of being a Dairy Cow.\u00a0 What is it that I should be?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>A strong wind stirred from the East.\u00a0 The monk cocked his head\u2026. so as his beanie hat, with the bright yellow propeller on top\u2026 would not fall from his head.\u00a0 After much thought, Carl simply replied\u2026 \u201c Perhaps, my child\u2026. \u2018Got Milk?\u2019 is not as bad as\u2026. \u2018Where\u2019s the Beef?\u2019<\/p>\n<p>Elsa responded\u2026 \u201cI am not sure I understand.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And Carl then said\u2026 \u201cLet me put it this way cow.\u00a0 I would tell you my joke about a Black Angus\u2026. but I always butcher it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><strong><span style=\"font-family: georgia,bookman old style,palatino linotype,book antiqua,palatino,trebuchet ms,helvetica,garamond,sans-serif,arial,verdana,avante garde,century gothic,comic sans ms,times,times new roman,serif;\">Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves. ~Henry David Thoreau<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: georgia,bookman old style,palatino linotype,book antiqua,palatino,trebuchet ms,helvetica,garamond,sans-serif,arial,verdana,avante garde,century gothic,comic sans ms,times,times new roman,serif;\"><em><strong>.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: georgia,bookman old style,palatino linotype,book antiqua,palatino,trebuchet ms,helvetica,garamond,sans-serif,arial,verdana,avante garde,century gothic,comic sans ms,times,times new roman,serif;\"><em><strong>He who knows others is learned;<\/strong><\/em><br \/>\n<em><strong> He who knows himself is wise.<\/strong><\/em><br \/>\n<em><strong> ~Lao-tzu, Tao te Ching<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>One day Elsa woke up, rolled out of her straw, and realized she didn\u2019t feel like being a Dairy Cow any more. She had had enough.\u00a0 The early mornings.\u00a0 The endless milkings.\u00a0 The preponderance of Udder Jokes.\u00a0\u00a0 People driving by and yelling out their car windows\u2026. \u201cGot Milk?\u201d Enough. So she packed her little nylon [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-766","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nowyouseeit"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/766","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=766"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/766\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":770,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/766\/revisions\/770"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=766"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=766"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=766"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}