{"id":723,"date":"2014-04-25T00:00:29","date_gmt":"2014-04-25T04:00:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/?p=723"},"modified":"2014-04-25T09:43:58","modified_gmt":"2014-04-25T13:43:58","slug":"sleepy-mabel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/?p=723","title":{"rendered":"Sleepy Mabel"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"mousewithpin\"<\/a><\/p>\n

When I was a kid, we didn\u2019t have to go to Sunday School very often.\u00a0 Mom and Dad thought going to Mass seven days a week was enough.<\/p>\n

But every now and again\u2026 I attended.\u00a0 It was mostly kids who were not Catholics, but either they went to our school, or lived in the neighborhood.<\/p>\n

So\u2026 I didn\u2019t know all the kids that well.<\/p>\n

But I do remember two of them specifically.\u00a0 Mabel and Johnny.<\/p>\n

Little Mabel was not the best student in Sunday school.
\nUsually she slept through the class.<\/p>\n

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, Mabel, who created the universe?”<\/p>\n

When Mabel didn’t stir, little Johnny, who sat in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. “GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted Mabel and the teacher said, “Very good” and Mabel fell back asleep.<\/p>\n

A while later the teacher asked Mabel, “Who is our Lord and Savior,” But, Mabel didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ‘JESUS CHRIST!” shouted Mabel and the teacher said, “very good,” and Mabel fell back to sleep.<\/p>\n

Then the teacher asked Mabel a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mabel jumped up and shouted, \u201cIf you stick that f***ing thing\u00a0 in me one MORE TIME, I swear to God I will break it right in half and stick it right in your ear!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI fear one day I’ll meet God, he’ll sneeze and I won’t know what to say.\u201d – Ronnie Shakes<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

.<\/p>\n

“Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.”\u00a0 – Mark Twain<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

.<\/p>\n

.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I was a kid, we didn\u2019t have to go to Sunday School very often.\u00a0 Mom and Dad thought going to Mass seven days a week was enough. But every now and again\u2026 I attended.\u00a0 It was mostly kids who were not Catholics, but either they went to our school, or lived in the neighborhood. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-723","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nowyouseeit"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/723","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=723"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/723\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":730,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/723\/revisions\/730"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=723"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=723"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=723"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}