{"id":2398,"date":"2014-12-01T23:33:52","date_gmt":"2014-12-02T04:33:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/?p=2398"},"modified":"2014-12-01T23:38:12","modified_gmt":"2014-12-02T04:38:12","slug":"lie-like-a-rug","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/?p=2398","title":{"rendered":"The truth hurts?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"hippos\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Everybody knows the Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Box, right?\u00a0 The blue box… “The Cheesiest”…\u00a0 Yes that is the one.\u00a0 Well, I will tell you this much right here and now.\u00a0 The little flap thing, on the side of the box, which reads… “TO OPEN PUSH HERE”?\u00a0\u00a0 This is a great big fat lie.\u00a0 It doesn’t EVER open when you push there.\u00a0 It just bends the holy crap of the box.<\/p>\n

These are lies they told us in our youth.\u00a0 There were a bunch.<\/p>\n

Okay.\u00a0 Saturday Morning Cartoons were full of them.\u00a0 One of the classics was The Road Runner.\u00a0 Dag nab it.\u00a0 That bird was as fast as lightning.\u00a0\u00a0 Meep. Meep….. and swwwooooooossssshhhhh.\u00a0 Away that bird would go, always, always, always leaving the Coyote eating a puff of dust.\u00a0\u00a0 But the thing of it is, coyotes can run at speeds of 43 mph.\u00a0 And roadrunners?\u00a0 Only 20 mph.\u00a0 That makes the coyote, crossing the finish line, 23 mph faster than Old Meep Meep.\u00a0 Lies.<\/p>\n

And how about the Dancing Hippos in Fantasia.\u00a0 Now where the heck do I start with THAT one?\u00a0 Never mind that the hippopotamus is one of the deadliest animals on the planet, and it can easily outrun a human.\u00a0 Again, I say.\u00a0 Meep. Meep.<\/p>\n

Since we are on the topic of Disney.. … I have to bring up Mickey Mouse here.\u00a0 Okay, the dude only had four fingers on each hand.\u00a0 AND… he always wore gloves.\u00a0 This has Mafia written all over it, if you ask me.\u00a0 The high pitched voice, the cute red shorts, and big ears..???\u00a0\u00a0 ALL of that was part of his Witness Protection Program.\u00a0 Along with the no-fingerprints-left-behind-gloves. \u00a0\u00a0 I am pretty sure his real name was Mickey the Knife.<\/p>\n

Finally, one of the worst lies of them all.\u00a0 If someone shoots you in a cartoon, you will be just fine… unless of course you make an attempt at drinking a glass of water.\u00a0\u00a0 And as such, water will promptly begin spouting from the bullet holes which have just riddled your body.\u00a0 Other than that… you are pretty much good to go.<\/p>\n

We see lies everywhere.\u00a0 From the time we are very young until the day we die.\u00a0 Not only do we see the lies… we take part in them.\u00a0 According to Psychology Today… we really don’t have much of a chance against it.<\/p>\n

We, as humans, are predisposed to lying…., both by behavioral conditioning as well as by cognitive evolutionary biology.\u00a0 We start as early as 6 months of age… with fake crying and such.\u00a0 But we get pretty good at it, by the time we are four.<\/p>\n

I used to lie a whole bunch.\u00a0 Oh, the error of my ways.\u00a0 But now… a little older and wiser…., I try to always tell the truth.\u00a0 I think we are better people when we tell the truth, seek the truth, and promote the truth.\u00a0 Like my dear old Dad used to say…..\u00a0 Honesty is the best policy.<\/p>\n

Yet.\u00a0 Now and again, I will pull a fast one over on you here… in my writing.\u00a0 But that is called Fiction.\u00a0 Which can be a good thing.\u00a0 I learned it from Cartoons.\u00a0 Meep. Meep.<\/p>\n

Honesty is more than not lying. It is truth telling, truth speaking, truth living, and truth loving.\u00a0 —\u00a0 James E. Faust<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.\u00a0 —\u00a0 Groucho Marx<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Everybody knows the Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Box, right?\u00a0 The blue box… “The Cheesiest”…\u00a0 Yes that is the one.\u00a0 Well, I will tell you this much right here and now.\u00a0 The little flap thing, on the side of the box, which reads… “TO OPEN PUSH HERE”?\u00a0\u00a0 This is a great big fat lie.\u00a0 It doesn’t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2398","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nowyouseeit"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2398","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2398"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2398\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2404,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2398\/revisions\/2404"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2398"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2398"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2398"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}