{"id":1953,"date":"2014-10-02T23:08:20","date_gmt":"2014-10-03T03:08:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/?p=1953"},"modified":"2014-10-02T23:08:20","modified_gmt":"2014-10-03T03:08:20","slug":"how-to-scare-a-kid","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/?p=1953","title":{"rendered":"How to scare a kid."},"content":{"rendered":"

\"memomjul\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe.\u00a0 Catch a tiger by the toe.<\/p>\n

Holy smokes… the things we tell our children.<\/p>\n

If he hollers, let him go.\u00a0 Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe.<\/p>\n

This troubled me greatly as a child.\u00a0 First and foremost, I couldn’t even imagine what it would take to catch a tiger.\u00a0 And then, on the off chance that I ever DID catch one…. what the crap would happen if he did NOT holler?\u00a0 It all spelled big trouble to me.<\/p>\n

As a sidebar….\u00a0 I don’t eat Tiger meat.
\nTo this day… I am not a hunter.\u00a0 A carnivore… I AM indeed.\u00a0 But I like to go to aisle 9 at Marsh Supermarket, and pick up any type of dead animals I plan on consuming…. right there in the meat department.\u00a0 It is much neater that way… and I don’t have to look something in the eye before I ingest it.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 But I am pretty sure these early childhood songs drove my dislike of hunting.<\/p>\n

A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go,
\nHeigh ho, the dairy-o, a hunting we will go!
\nA hunting we will go, a hunting we will go,
\nWe’ll catch a fox and put him in a box,
\nAnd then we’ll let him go!<\/p>\n

Again, the logistics of this were beyond me when I was five.\u00a0 As was the reasoning.<\/p>\n

Here’s another thing.\u00a0 I know a lot of farmers in these parts.\u00a0 Men and Women Farmers.\u00a0 To this day… I am afraid of ALL you Farmer’s Wives out there.\u00a0 Point in case…<\/p>\n

Three blind mice, Three blind mice
\nSee how they run, See how they run!<\/p>\n

They all ran after
\nThe farmer’s wife.
\nShe cut off their tails
\nWith a carving knife.<\/p>\n

Chills.\u00a0 Right down my spine.\u00a0 The whole butcher knife thing is creepy. \u00a0 I mean… those mice were BLIND for crying out loud.
\nNow they are blind AND physically impaired.<\/p>\n

I am sure most people get over these things by the time they turn 12.\u00a0 But not me.\u00a0 I saw Peter Pan when I was eight.\u00a0 And dag nab it.\u00a0 I\u00a0 guess I won’t grow up.\u00a0 I won’t.<\/p>\n

In some ways this may be a good thing.\u00a0 And then again…\u00a0 perhaps… this would explain an awful lot about me.<\/p>\n

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.\u00a0 –Plato<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life. –Omar Khayyam<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe.\u00a0 Catch a tiger by the toe. Holy smokes… the things we tell our children. If he hollers, let him go.\u00a0 Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe. This troubled me greatly as a child.\u00a0 First and foremost, I couldn’t even imagine what it would take to catch a tiger.\u00a0 And then, on the off […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1953","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nowyouseeit"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1953","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1953"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1953\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1959,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1953\/revisions\/1959"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1953"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1953"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1953"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}