{"id":1777,"date":"2014-09-09T07:53:12","date_gmt":"2014-09-09T11:53:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/?p=1777"},"modified":"2014-09-09T07:53:12","modified_gmt":"2014-09-09T11:53:12","slug":"poor-gary","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/?p=1777","title":{"rendered":"Poor Gary"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"grasshoppy\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Tonight, I have a story about a grasshopper.\u00a0 As you may have already gathered from the photograph, it doesn’t end very well for the grasshopper.<\/p>\n

But it is not a sad story.\u00a0 This was Gary.\u00a0 He lived a long and wonderful grasshopper life.\u00a0 He had the greenest of green grasses… with no busy sidewalks or city buses blowing exhaust on him.\u00a0 He lived out in the country.\u00a0\u00a0 In the fresh air… and the wide blue skies.\u00a0 Gary had an entire Grasshopper Family to love….and be loved.<\/p>\n

One day, he and his brother Melvin, were out playing leap frog in the yard.\u00a0 This is a fun and easy game for grasshoppers, I’ll tell you.\u00a0 Not only are they good jumpers, they have wings and can fly as well.\u00a0 So Melvin and Gary were having a good game of Leap Frog.\u00a0 All of a sudden… out of nowhere… a big glass Miracle Whip Jar swooshed down from the sky above.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The jar… at the hand of the 6 year old farm boy…. scooped up Melvin… with one giant surge.\u00a0 Gary narrowly escaped.<\/p>\n

Gary would only see his brother one more time… about an hour later… inside that jar stuffed with dead grass and twigs.\u00a0 Melvin held up a little handwritten sign… which he held up against the glass.\u00a0 It read… “Bake me a cake.\u00a0 Put a file in it.”<\/p>\n

Of course… Gary had no homemaking skills whatsoever.\u00a0 Indeed… a poorly crafted escape-plan by Melvin.<\/p>\n

Gary hopped back that way… after about an hour… but the jar was gone.\u00a0 He had found some scraps of Lil’ Debbies on a picnic blanket… and had hoped these would somehow help his brother.\u00a0 But.\u00a0 To no avail.<\/p>\n

He never saw his brother again.\u00a0 (Well…he saw photos of him in the family album… but he didn’t see him again in the flesh.\u00a0 Or whatever material grasshoppers are made of.)<\/p>\n

There are many other great stories throughout Gary’s life.\u00a0 Certainly. Most of them….\u00a0 less traumatic than this one.\u00a0\u00a0 He was a terrific musician, and could really play a mean tune when he stridulated by rubbing his hind leg against his forewing.\u00a0 Ode to Joy was his favorite song to play.\u00a0 That, and Old McDonald.<\/p>\n

Gary lived to be the ripe old age of 12 months, 2 weeks, and 3 days.\u00a0\u00a0 He left behind a wife, and 73 children… all who loved him very much.\u00a0 However, his death is being investigated by the Grasshopper Police.\u00a0 They found chicken feathers near his body.\u00a0 Evidence of Foul Play.\u00a0 This is Bugging the Police.
\n\u201cCarve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.\u201d<\/strong><\/em>
\n\u2015 Shannon L. Alder<\/strong> <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Tonight, I have a story about a grasshopper.\u00a0 As you may have already gathered from the photograph, it doesn’t end very well for the grasshopper. But it is not a sad story.\u00a0 This was Gary.\u00a0 He lived a long and wonderful grasshopper life.\u00a0 He had the greenest of green grasses… with no busy sidewalks or […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1777","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nowyouseeit"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1777","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1777"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1777\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1782,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1777\/revisions\/1782"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1777"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1777"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1777"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}